Remember when the Oscars happened? Like, months ago? Well, this happened too! And finally, we got our stuff together and got it published. Featuring extra-special contributions from Holly Moyer and Betsy Rosenblatt! Enjoy!
It's BAAAA-aaaack. Wait, that's a typo: it's back. Featuring special guest movie drafter Alicia Kirk.
Why just settle for rooting for Oscar-nominated actors when you can use them as pawns in your own diabolical chess game?
This is not a romantic comedy. It is a pornographic detour from the promise of human evolution.
Is it possible to mine an iota of excitement from this year's Oscars? Is Rooney Mara the name of a female person? Can a chat room transcript still make for captivating reading even if nobody in it is impersonating a 15-year-old girl? We aim to answer all these questions with a hearty "Indeed, sir!"
It's just like our Movie Draft, but with twice the rules and half the fun. Oh dear lord, what have we done?
In which all of our lists, combined, tell you all you really need to know about what you should be watching.
I really need to stop spending so much time with my family to make room for better TV.
Just once it'd be nice to see a movie with a title like a hipster absinthe beverage, a plotline involving murder and forcible rape, and a naked Annette Bening on a piano, and have it turn out good.
What were you going to do with the Oscars on Sunday – just watch them? We remixed the sumbitches! Welcome to the future!
If you don't watch these shows, you're bad and wrong.
If you've been waiting for somebody to compare Modern Family to The Sopranos, you're in luck!
Moviegoers who see Once Upon a Time are not likely to live happily ever after.
We did this last year and you shit your pants from its awesomeness. All we can say is, we hope you bought at least two new pairs of pants this year.