POOP READING

Jun 16, 2017

Lesser-Known Father's Day Traditions

You should definitely go interrupt Dad in the bathroom to tell him all about it!

May 5, 2017

Provisions in United’s Undisclosed Settlement with the Guy They Threw Off Their Plane

For starters, no more use of the term "legroom" to refer to a space that does not have enough "room" for any reasonable person's "leg".

Mar 31, 2017

Least Popular Fist Names

And you thought people were bad at naming their kids.

Mar 24, 2017

Fake Hints from Heloise

For God's sake, stay away from the fake horoscopes. You do not want to go around thinking "someone close to you will make a financial decision" when they really won't!

Mar 10, 2017

Other Reasons Americans Are Having Less Sex Than They Used To

We prefer to think of it as having more non-sex than we used to. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Feb 10, 2017

Valentine's Day Plans for Couples Who Feel 50 Shades Darker Isn't Dark Enough

"It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black."

Jan 13, 2017

Rejected Names for the Newly-Discovered Species of Gibbon

"That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!"

Dec 23, 2016

Gifts for the Other Days of Christmas

Maybe this person isn't your true love after all...

Dec 9, 2016

Reasons Old People Are Happier

Don't trust anyone under 50.

Dec 2, 2016

Reasons Americans Are Not Getting Enough Sleep

Ehh, we'll just binge it over the weekend.

Nov 18, 2016

Other Toys on the W.A.T.C.H. Worst Toys List

Santa Claus is coming to town... to testify as part of a class-action lawsuit.

Oct 28, 2016

Signs That You're in a Poorly-Run Halloween Haunted House

This is what happens when we ship all of our haunting jobs overseas.

Oct 21, 2016

Official Months That Never Got Off the Ground

When you get right down to it, some ideas really feel more “weeky” than “monthy”.

Oct 7, 2016

Things Overheard During the Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese's

Is it really all that different from what you'd normally hear at a kid's birthday party?

Sep 23, 2016

Other Candies More Dangerous Than a Bowl of Skittles

But less dangerous than a snifter of Bugles.

Aug 26, 2016

Real Reasons for the EpiPen Price Hike

Better apply for a loan now for your next asthma inhaler purchase!

Aug 5, 2016

Other Benefits of Dental Floss That Remain Unproven

4 out of 5 dentists do not recommend this list.

Jul 22, 2016

Other Problems Caused By Playing Too Much Pokémon Go

What could possibly be making all these people want to escape reality?

Jul 8, 2016

Other Problems Found in Leading Brands of Sunscreen

Time for a return to full body swimwear!

Jul 1, 2016

Signs That Your Fourth of July Party Isn't Patriotic Enough

Shouldn't have prematurely shot your wad on that Flag Day dry run; now you've got a mess on your hands.

Jun 3, 2016

Unintended Consequences of the FDA's Plan to Reduce Sodium in the American Diet

Won't somebody think of the snack chips!

May 27, 2016

Other Changes the TSA Is Making to Reduce Wait Times

Finally, more time to spend in the boarding line!

May 20, 2016

Reasons Americans Aren't Using Their Local Park

This is why we can't have nice things.

May 13, 2016

Studies Rejected by Scientific Journals

But happily accepted by the Huffington Post!

May 6, 2016

Other Things Your Dog Doesn't Want From You

Man's best friend? More like dog's annoying co-worker.

Apr 22, 2016

Rejected BuzzFeed Content

Who knew a garbage can could throw stuff away?

Apr 15, 2016

Reasons Your Tax Return Is Likely to Be Audited

You really should have known better than to wear that What Would Wesley Snipes Do bracelet.

Mar 11, 2016

Least Popular Canned Soups

Cans are old news anyway. Everyone's eating soup out of giant Swiss horns these days.

Jan 29, 2016

Unusual Pregnancy Cravings

Eat for two, indeed.

Jan 15, 2016

Pros and Cons of Winning $1.5 Billion

Show me the conflicted emotions!

Jan 8, 2016

Least Used New Year's Resolutions

You might be thinking a little too outside the box.

Dec 11, 2015

Things Americans Can Do to Raise Their Average Life Expectancy

The answer's probably less salt... unless it's more salt.

Dec 4, 2015

Rejected Meat Loaf Songs and/or Accepted Guy Fieri Restaurant Menu Items

There's a difference?

Nov 20, 2015

Pros and Cons of the New Domino's Pizza Oven Car

What an age to be alive...

Nov 13, 2015

Things Overheard During a Time-Travel-Aided Confrontation Between Jeb Bush and Baby Hitler

It's the Look Who's TalkingInglorious Basterds crossover no one's been waiting for!

Oct 30, 2015

Least Popular Halloween Costumes for 2015

Still more popular than Lincoln Chafee though.

Oct 9, 2015

Least Popular Names for Twins

Oct 2, 2015

Additional Volkswagen Claims That Have Been Proven False

Oh, like you've never made hundreds of millions of dollars by lying to millions of people.

Sep 25, 2015

Other Things That Hackers Will Soon Be Able to Steal From You

[Types "How do you install a firewall in your genitals?" into Google.]

Sep 18, 2015

Other Actions That Will Get You Arrested in Irving, Texas

Time to bone up on local civic ordinances! (Though be careful, because boning up will get you arrested.)

Aug 28, 2015

Least Popular Restaurant Chains

Putting the F in food, thanks to the letter grade they got from the health inspector.

Aug 21, 2015

Side Effects of the New "Female Viagra" Drug

Finally, a sex drug that benefits men!

Aug 14, 2015

Items Left on Your Summer To-Do List

Write clever blurb for your list of jokes about fake summer to-do lists.

Jul 31, 2015

Reasons You Were Unfriended/Unfollowed on Social Media

Ehh, it's not perfect, but what are ya gonna do? Go back to dealing with people face to face?

May 15, 2015

Rejected Candidates to Replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 Bill

We wouldn't have this problem if we'd just switch to Disney Dollars.

Apr 10, 2015

Little-Known Facts About Scientology Revealed in the New Documentary Going Clear

[BLURB REDACTED AFTER ADVISEMENT FROM AN ANONYMOUS INSTITUTION WHOSE HELPFUL SUGGESTION SHOULD IN NO WAY BE VIEWED AS CENSORSHIP]

Apr 3, 2015

Other Things That Are Causing Teen Driver Accidents

Teens: Always there when adults need to assign blame for society's ills.

Mar 20, 2015

Ways That Life Will Be Different If California Runs Out of Water

And you won't believe what happens when Idaho runs out of potatoes!

Mar 13, 2015

Possible Side Effects of the "Love Hormone" Nasal Spray

C'mon, no one has ever regretted putting things up their nose.

Mar 6, 2015

Pros and Cons of Daylight Saving Time

How come no one ever talks about Darkness Wasting Time?

Feb 6, 2015

Other Reasons Parents Choose Not to Vaccinate Their Kid

Ehh, they can always make another one.

Dec 19, 2014

Lesser-Known Holiday Traditions

You know, like Yuletide barrels being flung into a fire, and folks dressed up like pesky Mos Def, etc., etc.

Nov 21, 2014

Qualities Charles Manson Looks for in a Wife

Why can't he just use OkCupid like most sociopaths?

Nov 14, 2014

Best-Selling Real Estate Novels

It's no wonder Paul never had time for a wife!

Oct 31, 2014

Least Popular Halloween Tricks

Where the lesson is: ALWAYS choose treat.

Oct 24, 2014

Least-Used Hyphenated Words

They're grammar-tastic!

Oct 10, 2014

Signs That You're Getting a Little Too Paranoid About the Ebola Virus

But what if you're not getting paranoid enough??

Sep 5, 2014

Least Popular Soups

Crimes against soupmanity! (Not to be confused with the "soup manatee", the horrifying soup-manatee hybrid that killed all those beach goers in Tampa.)

Aug 22, 2014

Least Popular Fundraising Stunts

What we need is a fundraising stunt to raise awareness for failed fundraising stunts.

Aug 15, 2014

Unexpected Items on the School Supply List

And wait 'til you see what's on the lunch menu.

Aug 1, 2014

How Do I Get Out of This Chickenshit Outfit?

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Jun 27, 2014

Great Things About Being "Left Behind"

It's still better than jury duty, that's for sure.

Jun 6, 2014

Worst Excuses Ever Given for Missing Work

Of course, if you don't skip out on your job, then you have to come up with an excuse for why you didn't make an excuse.

May 23, 2014

Ways Target Plans to Win Back Customers

Mo' data breach, mo' problems.

Apr 18, 2014

Reasons We're Not Drowning as Often as We Used To

Oh god, what if this means we're not drowning as often as we should?!

Apr 11, 2014

Signs That Your Internet Video Probably Isn't Going to Go Viral

Maybe you'll have better luck with your Arli$$ fan fiction.

Mar 28, 2014

Things That Are Causing Our Lower Back Pain

It's probably due to all the offensive back pain "satire" out there these days.

Feb 21, 2014

Additional Risks of Sitting Too Much

Some of us prefer to see it as standing too little.

Feb 7, 2014

Ineligible Breeds at the Westminster Dog Show

You can't spell "Westminster Dog Show" without "Tits Showdown Merges"!

Jan 24, 2014

Signs That Winter Is Breaking People's Spirit

This does not bode well for the Independent Spirit Awards in March.

Jan 10, 2014

Memorable Moments from 2013 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Sorry, we were busy looking at our phones.

Dec 26, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2012

From bad Halloween costumes to the 2012 election to the new Star Wars movies (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Dec 13, 2013

Things You Could Do with $400M

May we recommend buying a costly ad on a little-seen website?

Dec 6, 2013

Other Side Effects of Vitamin D Deficiency

Thank goodness there's plenty of Vitamin D in Sprite! (This week's BvF brought to you by Sprite.)

Nov 22, 2013

Things Americans Are Thankful For

We're the most thankful nation in the world! Take THAT, Sweden!

Nov 6, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2012

From Bigfoot to rejected TV pilots to Invisible Obama (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Nov 1, 2013

Surprising Items Found in Kids' Treat Bags This Halloween

Look, some of us forgot to buy candy, and those underpants had only been worn once!

Oct 18, 2013

Signs That You're Addicted to Oreos

Things fall apart; the creamy center cannot hold.

Sep 20, 2013

Other Things Starbucks Would Like Its Customers to Stop Doing

It's like they won't even just sit quietly and sip their coffee and maybe eat a couple pastries while listening to this new Paul McCartney album that's on sale for $9.99. Sheesh.

Aug 30, 2013

Things You Should Do After Labor Day

But why won't anyone give us any do's and don'ts for Grandparents Day?

Aug 16, 2013

Least Popular Snack Chips

Which means they're still eaten more often than carrots.

Aug 14, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2012

From unpopular superheroes to Mitt Romney's tax returns to the Octomom porn film (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Jul 10, 2013

Hell. And Back.

I had a bad dream. I wrote about it.

Jul 5, 2013

Less-Heralded Things About Being an American That Are Worth Celebrating This Week

Paging Francis Scott Key and Irving Berlin!

Jun 21, 2013

Other Things Rep. Michael Burgess Has Seen a Fetus Do

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me." "The baby looked at you?"

Jun 14, 2013

Surprising Things the NSA Has Learned from Spying on Americans

It's enough to put you off eavesdropping forever.

Jun 5, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2012

From lesser-known diseases to the Secret Service scandal to the Cannes film festival (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

May 24, 2013

Least Popular Tourist Attractions

Suddenly, spending a week at Aunt Gladys's in Schenectady doesn't sound so bad.

May 10, 2013

Least Popular Mother's Day Gifts

And you thought the labor pains were uncomfortable.

Apr 26, 2013

Alternate Uses for the U.S. Penny

A penny saved is a penny adding approximately 0.080 troy ounces of mass to your home.

Apr 19, 2013

Reasons Some Americans Have Not Filed Their Taxes Yet

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and procrastination.

Apr 17, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2012

From Jeremy Lin to high gas prices to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Mar 15, 2013

Job Requirements of the New Pope

A job so back-breakingly tough that the last guy quit!

Mar 8, 2013

Other Things That You Should Probably Worry About

Including worrying about whether you are worrying enough the things you should be worried about.

Feb 22, 2013

Other Unusual Deals Being Offered By U.S. Retailers

Buy this blurb and get half off a second blurb of equal or lesser value!

Feb 21, 2013

The Recline and Fall of Western Civilization

Feb 15, 2013

Real Reasons the Pope is Retiring

Do they make an RV version of the Popemobile?

Feb 12, 2013

God Needs a Hobby

Feb 6, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2011-January 2012

From Black Friday to holiday wish lists to Rick Santorum (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Jan 18, 2013

Pros and Cons of Having an Imaginary Girlfriend

Jan 4, 2013

Memorable Moments from 2012 That May Not Have Actually Happened

It's possible we were drinking at the time.

Jan 3, 2013

Shaken, Not Stirred

Jan 2, 2013

When the Manners Police Knock

Dec 21, 2012

Jerry Seinfeld Intents To Die Standing Up

Dec 19, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2011

From Herman Cain to Broadway shows to inappropriate Halloween costumes (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Dec 14, 2012

Least Popular Searches on Google

Boldly going where no man has gone before.

Dec 10, 2012

Guiding Human Behavior Via Guerrilla Social Media Tactics: A Study

Nov 19, 2012

As Not Seen on TV

Nov 15, 2012

Some thoughts and musings about making things for the web.

Nov 9, 2012

The Distress of the Privileged

Oct 29, 2012

If I Were Queen, Kids and Screens

Oct 26, 2012

Least Popular Sexy Halloween Costumes

Guaranteed to put the fright in your All Hallows' Eve night.

Oct 12, 2012

Least Popular Board Games

This is what happens when you buy from Bilton Mradley.

Oct 10, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2011

From the U.S. credit downgrade to the NBA lockout to the HPV vaccine (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Oct 9, 2012

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

Oct 8, 2012

Without Voting, Noncitizens Could Swing the Election For Obama

Sep 21, 2012

Pros and Cons of Being Jesus' Wife

Even he who is without sin can sometimes be a pain in the ass.

Sep 20, 2012

Sam Harris On the Freedom To Offend an Imaginary God

Sep 19, 2012

Steve Sabol, Creative Force Behind NFL Films, Dies at 69

Sep 4, 2012

How should journalists navigate post-truth politics?

Aug 31, 2012

Pros and Cons of Dressing Up as Bigfoot

It's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle.

Aug 27, 2012

Going Postal

Aug 22, 2012

I'm Right, You're Wrong and Other Political Truths

Aug 10, 2012

Ways That McDonald's Plans to Rejuvenate Their Business

Get ready to indiscriminately shove more things into your food hole!

Aug 9, 2012

Vanity Fair Profiled the Brant Brothers Because Vanity Fair Hates You

Aug 6, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2011

From the GOP candidates to unpopular cereals to the debt ceiling (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Raising Successful Children

Aug 3, 2012

The Seven Myths of Helicopter Parenting

Jul 24, 2012

As Authorities Crack Down, Banksy Enters The Olympic Graffiti Games

Jul 17, 2012

Two Classes In America, Divided By "I Do"

Jul 16, 2012

The 11 Ways That Consumers Are Hopeless at Math

Jul 13, 2012

Lesser-Known Rhyming Aphorisms

If the aphorism doesn't rhyme, then it isn't worth a lousy nickel.

Jul 6, 2012

Neighborhood Complaints About Your Behavior on Independence Day

Did you learn nothing from Flag Day?

Jun 20, 2012

Are Women Funny? I Tackle the Issue. [Spoiler Alert: Women Are Funny]

I love comedy. I love women. I love Adam Carolla. I love the internet. When all of those things threaten to converge, "Denzel-and-Chris-Pine-in-a-runaway-train"-style, I've simply got to say something.

Jun 15, 2012

Least Popular Father's Day Gifts

It's enough to drive a man to a vasectomy.

Jun 8, 2012

The Consequences of Caring

Jun 6, 2012

On U.S. car license plates, DAMNIML8 is OK, TOILET is not

Jun 1, 2012

Other Things People Might Do While High on "Bath Salts"

We can only assume it's a gateway drug to "bath peppers".

May 30, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2011

From the Rapture to bad prom themes to the Royal Wedding (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

May 18, 2012

The Loves of Lena Dunham

May 11, 2012

Things That Modern Science Cannot Explain

So phrenology's looking pretty good right about now, huh?

May 1, 2012

How To Succeed In Tetris and Life: 7 Secrets Of an 18-Year-Old Grand Master

The Foreign Language of "Mad Men"

A Complete Guide to 'Hipster Racism'

Apr 23, 2012

8 Reasons You Should Be Naked More Often

Apr 22, 2012

Regrets of the Dying

Apr 13, 2012

Questions Asked of Tax Professionals at Filing Time

Nothing is certain except death and taxes... and stupid questions.

Fanfare for the Comma Man

Apr 6, 2012

Lesser-Known Diseases That Are on the Rise

It's an epidemiological epidemic!

Mar 30, 2012

Ways Americans Are Dealing with High Gas Prices

And don't even get them started on the rising cost of outrage!

Mar 29, 2012

A Message From a Republican Meteorologist on Climate Change

Mar 28, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2011

From Charlie Sheen to St. Patrick's Day drinking to the 2010 U.S. Census (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Mar 26, 2012

Your Brain on Fiction

Mar 23, 2012

Please Stop Apologizing

Mar 16, 2012

Sir Jonathan Ive: The iMan Cometh

Mar 15, 2012

A Field Guide to the Middle-Class U.S. Family

Mar 12, 2012

Daylight saving time – still mostly a scam

Mar 7, 2012

"Tricky People" Are the New "Strangers"

Mar 2, 2012

Rejected McDonald's Menu Items

Because the company that brought you the Hulaburger and the Arch Deluxe will not tolerate any bad ideas.

Feb 29, 2012

Right versus pragmatic

Feb 27, 2012

Teller Reveals His Secrets

Feb 17, 2012

Pearls Before Breakfast

Eddie Izzard's Fake Paul McCartney Bio Speech

How Companies Learn Your Secrets

Feb 16, 2012

Funbag

Feb 10, 2012

Least Popular Valentine's Day Gifts

What could go wrong with a homemade "I Love V.D." T-shirt?

An open letter to the worst human being to ever sit in a theater

Feb 6, 2012

Why French Parents Are Superior

Feb 3, 2012

The Accidental Rebranding of Komen for the Cure

The Story of a Suicide

Feb 2, 2012

The 10 Best Super Bowls in Trivia History

Feb 1, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2010-January 2011

From Derek Jeter's contract to Santa's naughty list to New Year's resolutions (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Jan 27, 2012

President John Tyler's Grandchildren Still Alive

Jan 24, 2012

Don't Carpe Diem

Jan 20, 2012

Other Ways Mark Wahlberg Would Have Changed History If Only He'd Been There

Watch out, John Wilkes Booth – you're about to get Italian Jobbed!

I hope SOPA passes.

Jan 19, 2012

The Bob Famine: Athletes Aren't Named 'Bob' Anymore and There's Nothing We Can Do About It

9 Things I Learned In the Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous

Jan 16, 2012

The anatomy of a ripoff

Jan 12, 2012

Did This Man Really Cut Michael Jordan?

Is Your Personality Making You Put on Pounds?

The View from Nowhere: Questions and Answers

Jan 11, 2012

The Ballad of @Horse_ebooks

Jan 9, 2012

Fast Food: Advertising vs. Reality

Jan 3, 2012

I'll tell you why movie revenue is dropping...

Jan 2, 2012

The Dumbest Idea in the World: Maximizing Shareholder Value

Dec 30, 2011

Memorable Moments from 2011 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Remembering the year that wasn't.

Dec 26, 2011

Lego Is for Girls

Dec 23, 2011

Items on Your Holiday Wish List That You Won't Be Receiving

Ask and ye shall receive a Starbucks gift card instead.

Dec 16, 2011

Trial of the Will

Dec 14, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2010

From celebrity products to George W. Bush's memoir to the trapped Chilean miners (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Dec 13, 2011

Manos: The Hands of Fate: Carefully Restoring the Opposite of a Masterpiece

Dec 9, 2011

Welcome to the Age of Overparenting

Dec 8, 2011

$56 Billion Later, Airport Security Is Junk

Dec 7, 2011

On the impracticality of a cheeseburger

Derek Boogaard: A Boy Learns To Brawl

Derek Boogaard: Blood On the Ice

Derek Boogaard: A Brain Going Bad

Dec 6, 2011

Fast Food's Dirty Little Secret: It's the Middle Class Buying Burgers

A Sobering Look at Alcohol: 10-Year Study Finds High Death Rate

Dec 5, 2011

A Wise Man Knows One Thing: The Limits of His Knowledge

Dec 2, 2011

Signs That You're Too Obsessed With Black Friday

A penny saved is a penny you can jab into someone's eye to keep them from grabbing that toaster.

Nov 28, 2011

Penn State, my final loss of faith

Nov 17, 2011

To Increase Jobs, Increase Economic Freedom

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Americans

Nov 10, 2011

A Conspiracy of Hogs: The McRib as Arbitrage

Nov 9, 2011

What Do A Bunch Of Old Jews Know About Living Forever?

Nov 4, 2011

Herman Cain Pickup Lines or Things People Might Say in a Restaurant

Once you go black, you'll need to sign a binding non-disclosure agreement.

Nov 3, 2011

The Birth Control Solution

Oct 28, 2011

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes

It used to be about the candy, man.

How Revolutionary Tools Cracked a 1700s Code

Oct 26, 2011

Seven Billion

Six Reasons to Have Six Kids

Oct 25, 2011

But what do they do with their legs?

Oct 24, 2011

The Human Scale

Oct 19, 2011

"Sybil Exposed": Memory, lies and therapy

Oct 17, 2011

Enchanted Aisles

Oct 14, 2011

Do You Have Baby-Naming Remorse?

Oct 12, 2011

The Cubs

Steve Jobs

Oct 11, 2011

The Geniuses We'll Never Know

Oct 10, 2011

Bosses of the Bay

Oct 5, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2010

From Glenn Beck University to the fall TV season to the Ground Zero mosque debate (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Sep 30, 2011

Why Podcasts Are Comedy's Second Coming: Adam Carolla, Marc Maron and Greg Proops Weigh In (Q&A)

Sep 26, 2011

Going Postal

Sep 23, 2011

Other Side Effects Michele Bachmann Claims Are Caused by the HPV Vaccine

And don't get her started on that ridiculous polio booster.

Sep 16, 2011

Not About Steve

Sep 15, 2011

The GOP War on Voting

TV Review: The CW's  H8r

Sep 13, 2011

Motherhood's Best Kept Secret

Sep 12, 2011

Coercive Charity Auction

Sep 7, 2011

Spoilers don't spoil anything

Sep 6, 2011

Planned Obsolescence: A Lament for Quality Amid a World of Junk

Sep 2, 2011

Other Things You Shouldn't Do After Labor Day

This can also serve as a handy to-do list of things to squeeze into your last weekend of summer.

"Don't Ask Don't Tell": Exclusive Interviews with Gay Servicemen

Sep 1, 2011

How To Become a Twitter Superstar

Aug 30, 2011

6 Animals That Kill Nature's Scariest Creatures For Fun

Birth of the nerd: The mysterious origins of the word

Aug 26, 2011

Summer of Mailbag IV: Dawn of the Mailbag

Aug 25, 2011

Most Online Daters Say They Like "30 Rock" In Order To Get Laid

The Billionaire King of Techtopia

Aug 23, 2011

What Ever Happened to Class?: In Which I Attempt to Pinpoint the Exact Moment Dignity Died

The Solace Of Preparing Fried Foods And Other Quaint Remembrances From 1960s Mississippi: Thoughts On The Help

Aug 19, 2011

Why Did Japan Surrender?

Aug 18, 2011

Behind Five Guys Beloved Burgers

Aug 16, 2011

Take a Stroll with Rob Delaney: A Voter's Guide

A Bit of Sully in Your Sweet

Aug 12, 2011

Instructions for the Best Camp Closing Ceremony Ever.

Aug 11, 2011

Who Stole the Mona Lisa?

Aug 9, 2011

Tax Soda, Subsidize Vegetables

Aug 5, 2011

Did the Nazis invent Fanta soft drinks?

I'm rich; tax me more

Aug 4, 2011

Do I Repeat Myself?

Jul 29, 2011

The Professor and the Pornographer

The Campaign For Real Monopoly

Jul 28, 2011

The Left-Leaning Tower

When Innies Love Outies: How Odd Couples Cope

Jul 27, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2010

From Mel Gibson to the Russian Spies to the vuvuzela (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Statis Pro Baseball: An Instruction Manual

Noise-Canceling Devices for a Good Nights Sleep

Jul 26, 2011

Facebook: Personal Branding Made Easy

Jul 22, 2011

An Investment Manager's View of the Top 1%

Employer-Employee Relationship Outdated

The world's biggest problem? Too many people.

Jul 21, 2011

Texas Forever

Let's Ban Books, Or At Least Stop Writing Them

Jul 19, 2011

The Ghost Ship That Didn't Carry Us

Jul 15, 2011

Rejected Crayola Colors

But at least they have Pantone as their safety corporation.

Reason Seen More as Weapon Than Path to Truth

Jul 14, 2011

Bad Decisions

Jul 8, 2011

Other Changes Being Made to Facebook

Helping you connect and share with the people in your life even when none of you is exactly sure why.

Always On: How the iPhone Unlocked the Anything-Anytime-Anywhere Future

Jul 7, 2011

The Beer Archeologist

"But who versus? Who are we doing it versus?"

Jul 6, 2011

Married, With Infidelities

Jul 5, 2011

Talking (Exclamation) Points

How Words Have the Power to Heal

Jul 1, 2011

Inside Google+

Jun 30, 2011

Sporcle Website Scores Big With Trivia Quizzes

How To Land Your Kid In Therapy

Jun 29, 2011

When Innies Love Outies: How Odd Couples Cope

Jun 28, 2011

Fields of Dreams

Jun 24, 2011

Least Popular Breakfast Cereals

Though they're all still preferable to Kellogg's Mueslix.

All Work and No Pay: The Great Speedup

Jun 23, 2011

A Raw Voice of Young Manhood Makes a Bid For Literary Respect

Jun 21, 2011

AOL Hell: An AOL Content Slave Speaks Out

In Defense of Tracy Morgan

Jun 17, 2011

Father's Day

Jun 16, 2011

So, Cricket? Maybe?

The Age of Too Much Information

Jun 14, 2011

The Outsiders

Jun 10, 2011

Other Reasons for Sending Someone a Picture of Your Cock

It should be noted that ladies never need a reason to show us their boobs.

Jun 9, 2011

Three-Man Weave

Jun 7, 2011

She texted. We kicked her out.

Breakfast Cereals Americans No Longer Love

Jun 3, 2011

Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.

Oprah, Schmoprah: Introducing The Norm Macdonald Book Club

Jun 2, 2011

Can Bill Simmons Win the Big One?

Jun 1, 2011

'I Spilled My Soda,' Report Nation's Dopes

Your Commute Is Killing You

May 31, 2011

5 Writing Tips for the People Who Send Me Death Threats

Take a Stroll with Rob Delaney: I Make Babies

May 27, 2011

The Science of Why We Don't Believe Science

May 26, 2011

Dead Kids Make Bad Laws

Fair Verona is Ready For Takeoff

May 24, 2011

The Rise of "Logical Punctuation".

Revenge of the Squares in North Dakota

May 20, 2011

Reasons You Won't Be Getting Raptured

Don't worry – everyone who's left behind gets a free small Enchirito at Taco Bell!

The Possibilian

May 19, 2011

Behind Arnold's Deception

May 18, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2010

From the BP disaster to the NASCAR Hall of Fame to the season finale of Lost (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

May 17, 2011

Cee Lo, the Times, and "Fuck You"

One Professor's Attempt to Explain Every Joke Ever

May 13, 2011

Lesser-Known Kama Sutra Positions

You might want to do some stretches first.

Frank Sinatra Slang

May 12, 2011

Why "South Park's" Trey Parker and Matt Stone Now Say It's "Wrong" To Offend

May 10, 2011

The Mark of Kane

May 6, 2011

Stats Geek Bill James Applies His Science to Serial Killers

The Case for Cursive

May 5, 2011

An In-Depth Review of the "Maxim" 2011 Hot 100

If you take a dispassionate look at this list from a sociological standpoint, it does make the exercise seem a bit less unseemly.

Schadenfreude For the Non-Believer

May 4, 2011

The Joy of Researching the Health Benefits of Sex

May 3, 2011

The RICH Economy

Apr 29, 2011

Things Overheard at the Royal Wedding

If you listen closely, you can actually hear the stuffiness!

After "Black Friday," American Poker Faces Cloudy Future

Judging People

The Funny Side of Death

Apr 27, 2011

Daughters and Roller Skates

Apr 26, 2011

Vital Signs: Those Who Know Us Best

Apr 22, 2011

Donald Trump: Magnificent Bastard

Apr 21, 2011

Lower the Drinking Age For Everyone

Beware the In-Laws

Apr 20, 2011

Is Sugar Toxic?

Apr 19, 2011

Tiny Beautiful Things

Apr 18, 2011

Living in the Midwest

It's Not Britney, Bitch.

Apr 15, 2011

Bad Prom Themes

You want an event where you awkwardly slow dance in rented clothes under the supervision of your teachers to feel special.

Spare us the e-mail yada-yada

Pushing Paper

Apr 14, 2011

All He Wanted: Chris Kanyon's Doomed Quest To Be Wrestling's First Openly Gay Star

Finland's Educational Success? The Anti-Tiger Mother Approach

Apr 8, 2011

Can You Say... "Hero"?

Why Do We Let Girls Dress Like That?

The real reason for the decline in teen births

Apr 7, 2011

The Human Brain: Turning Our Minds To the Law

Apr 6, 2011

How Dumb Are We?

Apr 5, 2011

The Kids Truly Are All Right

Mar 31, 2011

Miami Waiter Eddie Santana Is a Restaurant Rebel

Mar 30, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2010

From the Winter Olympics to Joe Biden to the Toyota recall (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Mar 25, 2011

Other Surprising Facts Found in the 2010 U.S. Census Data

Well, other than the fact that there sure are a lot of people with the last name Jablome.

Don't Call Me, I Won't Call You

Mar 24, 2011

The Biggest Winner

Mar 18, 2011

Signs You Got Drunker Than You Realized on St. Patrick's Day

But less drunk than you got on President's Day. (Shudder)

How Not to Talk to Your Kids

The Egg

Which Traits Predict Success? (The Importance of Grit)

Mar 17, 2011

Three Famous Alums From All 68 NCAA Tournament Teams

A Dramatic Story, At the End of Which Nothing Happens

Mar 16, 2011

Parents, Take a Deep Breath

Mar 15, 2011

Remembrance of Things Assed: How My Childhood Friend Became an Internet Laughingstock

The Black Arc Of It

Mar 11, 2011

Rules of Misbehavior

Tour de Gall

Mar 10, 2011

5 Artistic Geniuses Who Only Became Great After Selling Out

Mar 8, 2011

End of Days in May? Believers Enter Final Stretch

Mar 4, 2011

Reasons Americans Are Fatter Than Canadians

That just means there's more of us to hate.

The Art of the Police Report

Why That Slate Article Pissed You Off (And Why You Should Be Livid)

Mar 3, 2011

Sex Is Cheap

Mar 1, 2011

Interview: Lisa Ling of "Our America"

'Wizard of New Zealand' Leaving Christchurch after Quake

Nice Girls

Feb 28, 2011

The Ethics of Winter Dibs Parking

Feb 24, 2011

Conan 2.0

Feb 18, 2011

Neil deGrasse Tyson on the "science should be used to improve life" argument

Feb 17, 2011

IBM's Watson Trounces Puny Humans at "Jeopardy!"

For 2012, GOP's Best Hope May Be Losing

Feb 15, 2011

The Moral Crusade Against Foodies

Feb 11, 2011

Paul Haggis vs. The Church of Scientology

Feb 10, 2011

The Mad Men Account

Feb 9, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2009-January 2010

From Tiger Woods to Avatar to the NBC late night fiasco (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Key to Happy Marriage: Mom Cooks, Dad Plays?

Feb 8, 2011

Fight for Libraries as You Do for Freedom

Feb 4, 2011

Other Things Dogs Can Detect By Smell

And, just like Homer Simpson, they can also hear pudding.

How to Tax the Rich

Feb 3, 2011

The Midlife Vices of Greg Giraldo

Feb 1, 2011

The Enema of Your Enemy Is Your Friend

Jan 28, 2011

If This Fusion Restaurant's Website Could Talk

Jan 27, 2011

The Return of the "Oscar Movie"

Jan 25, 2011

The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2010

Jan 21, 2011

Unusual Weather Events on Tap for 2011

You can't spell "forecasting" without "ignore facts!" (Or "finger tacos," for whatever that's worth.)

Eek! A Male!

5 Reasons The Future Will Be Ruled By B.S.

Jan 20, 2011

59 Famous People Who Died Before Age 40

The Incredible Shrinking Sound Bite

Jan 18, 2011

Space Invaders: Why You Should Never, Ever Use Two Spaces after a Period

Jan 14, 2011

New Year's Resolutions That You've Already Broken

Don't feel too bad, you can always try again with your Groundhog Day Self-Improvement Oaths!

Elusive Forger, Giving but Never Stealing

Jan 13, 2011

Can Tim Pawlenty Light a Fire With Republicans?

Jan 11, 2011

The Cloudy Logic of 'Political' Shootings

Jan 7, 2011

Memorable Moments from 2010 That May Not Have Actually Happened

It was the best of fictitious times, it was the worst of fictitious times.

Boredom Enthusiasts Discover the Pleasures of Understimulation

How to Pick the Perfect Brand Name

Jan 5, 2011

Double Feature: Dinner and a Movie

Dec 31, 2010

The Loophole Artist

Dec 29, 2010

50 Amazing Facts for Our 50th Issue

Dec 24, 2010

Actions That Will Put You on Santa's Naughty List

Get ready for some extra-lumpy coal!

A Holiday Message from Ricky Gervais: Why I'm An Atheist

Caring for Your Introvert

Dec 17, 2010

Pros and Cons of Being Time Magazine's Person of the Year

If a meaningless award is given out by a dying industry, does it still make a sound?

How I got an uncooperative eBay buyer to pay for her purchase.

A Bayesian Take on Julian Assange

Dec 16, 2010

Needed: An Economics For Grownups

Dec 14, 2010

Cribs vs. Beds: Parenthood's All-Out War

Dec 10, 2010

Surprising Things Found in the Pockets of Your Winter Coat

And just wait 'til you see what's in the pockets of your summer hot pants.

Sifting Through the Embers

The Men Who Stole the World

Dec 9, 2010

Like Monopoly in the Depression, Settlers of Catan Is the Board Game of Our Time

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Dec 8, 2010

Open This Story in a New Tab

Dec 6, 2010

Intense Parenting Comes at a High Cost

Dec 3, 2010

I, Reader

A Waste of Money and Time

Dec 2, 2010

Baby Names Reveal More About Parents Than Ever Before

Talking Tough and Drawing Viewers, Christie Is a YouTube Star

6 Animals That Just Don't Give a F#@k

Waste Land: The Pentagon's Nearly Unprecedented, Wildly Irrational Spending Binge

Dec 1, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2009

From the Balloon Boy to distracted driving to the Sarah Palin memoir (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Nov 26, 2010

Other Things the Pope Says It's Okay to Do Now

Best papal decrees EVER.

Where I draw the line

Nov 25, 2010

The 9 Manliest Names in the World

To the Giant Among Us

Norm Macdonald's Big Gamble

Nov 24, 2010

Divided We Eat

Thank You. No, Thank You.

Nov 23, 2010

Later

Nov 22, 2010

Homosexual Schmomosexual

Nov 19, 2010

Additional Airport Security Measures Being Planned by the TSA

Now putting the T&A in TSA!

America's Dirtiest Interview: Mike Rowe Talks About Work

TSA to investigate body scan resister

News Flash: Deadly Terrorism Existed Before 9/11

Nov 18, 2010

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

Nov 17, 2010

Parents Are Junkies

Nov 16, 2010

I Am Sorry That I Didn't Write a Comedy Piece

Nov 15, 2010

Sweet Action: 8 Big Bets Made by Famous People

Nov 11, 2010

Are You Ready For a World Without Antibiotics?

Nov 9, 2010

Chemicals in Food Can Make You Fat

Nov 5, 2010

My Son Is Gay

For the First Time, the TSA Meets Resistance

Nov 4, 2010

VOOB

San Francisco Bans Happy Meals

Oct 29, 2010

Halloween Activities That Sound Like Sexual Euphemisms

You'll never look at an Oh Henry! the same way again.

'Stranger Danger' and the Decline of Halloween

British Airways attacks U.S. airport security demands

Oct 28, 2010

The Republic of Paperwork

Oct 26, 2010

Comedy

You Can Help It Get Better

Oct 22, 2010

Pilot tells TSA: 'No Naked Photos'

Oct 21, 2010

What I Would Be Thinking About If I Were Billy Joel Driving Towards A Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going To Be A Piano

How To Write Like a Cartoonist

Oct 20, 2010

I'm Very, Very, Very Sorry... Really?

Oct 19, 2010

Benoit Mandelbrot, Novel Mathematician, Dies at 85

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Reviews of New Food

Oct 15, 2010

Ways to Pass the Time While Trapped in an Underground Mine

Sadly, it's still preferable to being delayed in an airport terminal.

8-Year-Old Sells Paintings for Up to $250k

Oct 14, 2010

The Case of the Accidental Tweeter

Writing a Sex Scene Is an Impossible Task

Oct 8, 2010

Activities That Are Still Not Recommended During Pregnancy

Nobody wants a crack baby, but where is the next generation of reality TV stars going to come from?

Sex Advice From Todd Barry

Oct 5, 2010

Does Knowing Your Colleagues' Salaries Make You Happy or Disgruntled?

Sep 30, 2010

Greg Giraldo: Remembering the Great Insult Comedian

State of the 'Stache: An Interview with Mustache Chairman Aaron Perlut

This Is a News Website Article About a Scientific Paper

Sep 29, 2010

My Relentless Pursuit of the Guy Who Robbed Me

Sep 28, 2010

First, Bash the Teachers

Small Change: Why the Revolution Will Not Be Tweeted

Sep 27, 2010

Men's Lib

Sep 24, 2010

Whatever Happened to Walking to School?

Sep 23, 2010

The Week 'There's Nothing Good On' Died: Premiere Week, September 2010

America's One-Child Policy

Sep 22, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2009

From Kanye West to swine flu to the Chevy Volt (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Sep 21, 2010

The Urge to Purge: A New Breed of Young Minimalist

Sep 17, 2010

Et Tu, Brooklyn?

Sep 16, 2010

Celebrities Discover the Downside of Twitter

25 Things Chefs Never Tell You

Sep 14, 2010

Meet Josh Simpson, the Man Behind @BPGlobalPR

Sep 10, 2010

New Ways to Get Americans to Quit Smoking

Next, we can work on ways to get Americans to quit trying to get other Americans to quit stuff.

Are You Being Served?

Sep 9, 2010

Fans' Guide to NFL Labor Battle

Unanswerable Prayers

Sep 8, 2010

A Niche of the Unreal in a World of Credulity

Sep 3, 2010

The Fear Tax

Sep 2, 2010

The Best Job Ever – My One-Figure Deal With the Minnesota Twins

Deep-Fried Beer Invented In Texas

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Aug 30, 2010

What Is It About 20-Somethings?

Aug 27, 2010

Why Free Parking Comes at a Price

Aug 26, 2010

Inside the Secret World of Trader Joe's

Aug 20, 2010

Other Construction Projects Deemed Too Inappropriate to Be Allowed Within Five Blocks of Ground Zero

If you build it, they will scrum.

The Music-Copyright Enforcers

Aug 13, 2010

Ways JetBlue Plans to Improve Employee Morale

If you're JetBlue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where you can earn plaudits: puttin' on the PR blitz.

Take This Blog and Shove It!

Aug 12, 2010

Don't Worry: The Romantic Comedy Is Not Dead At The Hands Of Gerard Butler

Outraged Moms, Trashy Daughters

Aug 11, 2010

But Will It Make You Happy?

Aug 6, 2010

Letting Go

Aug 5, 2010

Review: That's Kick-Ass Entertainment

Review: Kick-Ass

Aug 4, 2010

12 Star-Powered College Roommates

Aug 3, 2010

Dude, Where's Your Car?

Million-Dollar Murray

Jul 30, 2010

Now That You Mention It, Rock Hudson Did Seem Gay

Jul 29, 2010

A Perfect Game: The Metaphysical Meaning of Baseball

The Unexpected Hero

Jul 28, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2009

From Sarah Palin to rejected Jeopardy! categories to the Congressional health care bill (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Jul 26, 2010

The Web Means the End of Forgetting

Jul 22, 2010

5 World Changing Decisions (Made For Ridiculous Reasons)

Jul 15, 2010

The "Thriller" Diaries

Jul 9, 2010

Signs That Parents Are Getting Fed Up With Parenting

Stupid perpetuation of the species!

All Joy and No Fun

Jul 8, 2010

Vegans and the Quest For Purity

Jul 7, 2010

Nighthawks State of Mind

Jul 6, 2010

Why Do Dads Lie on Surveys About Fatherhood?

Jul 2, 2010

Reasons the Founding Fathers Hate Our Stupid Guts

And this after we've spent all these years celebrating their accomplishments by eating hot dogs and blowing stuff up.

Cultivated Play: Farmville

Jul 1, 2010

The Openness Elixir

Jun 30, 2010

The Surprising Toll of Sleep Deprivation

Jun 29, 2010

Good or Bad, Baby Names Have Long-lasting Effects

Life of pie: Losing weight by eating nothing but pizza.

Jun 28, 2010

How to Raise Men

Jun 25, 2010

New Slogans for BP

Because if there's one thing slicker than oil, it's good spin doctoring.

Bros Icing Bros: Understanding This Ridiculous Phenomenon

Jun 24, 2010

Time To Start Believing, U.S. Fans

The Breeders' Cup

Jun 21, 2010

I Don't: The Case Against Marriage

Jun 18, 2010

Other Uses for the Vuvuzela

Why should soccer fans be the only ones to enjoy teeth-grinding aggravation and temporary hearing loss?

Stay on target

Jun 17, 2010

The Day Moneyball Died

Pandora's Briefcase

Jun 15, 2010

Why Americans Just Won't Buy Into Soccer

Like with most things, I'm naturally inclined to blame Clinton and hippies. But in this instance, try as I might, I couldn't find a way to blame Clinton.

No Secrets

Jun 11, 2010

Real Reasons the ESPN Zone Restaurant Chain Failed

They flew too close to the sun on wings of buffalo.

Jun 9, 2010

Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a Mental Price

Jun 7, 2010

Does the Internet Make You Smarter?

Does the Internet Make You Dumber?

Jun 3, 2010

Not Dead Yet

Jun 2, 2010

To the Cult I Inadvertently Started Last Night

Jun 1, 2010

Monkey Business

May 27, 2010

Humans: Why They Triumphed

May 26, 2010

From Big Leagues, Hints at Sibling Behavior

May 20, 2010

Searching For Jesus In the Gospels

May 19, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2009

From Somali pirates to the new Star Trek movie to Obama's first 100 days in office (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

May 14, 2010

Do 'Family Values' Weaken Families?

Facebook's Gone Rogue

May 13, 2010

The Peekaboo Paradox

May 7, 2010

Other Ways BP Plans to Make Up for the Gulf Oil Spill

You just know the make-up sex is going to be really, really good.

May 5, 2010

Can Your Baby Wield a Machete?

May 4, 2010

If the TSA Were Running New York

Apr 30, 2010

Rejected Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavors

Maybe they'd be good enough for those jerks over at Hagen-Dazs.

Apr 29, 2010

Employees Fired For Pursuing Alleged Shoplifter

Why Reporters Are Down on President Obama

Apr 23, 2010

Additional Problems Caused by Having Too Much Sodium in Your Diet

As it you didn't already have your hands full dealing with the side effects from your Savella.

Apr 16, 2010

The Tea Leaves of Sports Talk: Finding Meaning in Random Sequences

Apr 13, 2010

a mote of dust

Apr 9, 2010

Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Doctor Say

You're gonna want to start stocking up on apples.

Apr 8, 2010

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

6 Scientific Reasons People Drive Like Assholes

Apr 6, 2010

The First Honest Piece of Advice About Girls on the Internet

Apr 1, 2010

A Shakespeare Scholar Takes On a "Taboo" Subject

Mar 26, 2010

Heaven offers a 'happy" answer to life's questions

Mar 25, 2010

Fast Food That Won the West

Last Supper Helpings Have Grown

Mar 24, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2009

From March Madness to unwanted Barbie dolls to Christian Bale's profane tirade (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Mar 19, 2010

Moral Imperatives That Didn't Make the Cut for the Ten Commandments

And you thought it was hard enough just trying to live up to the existing ones.

Mar 18, 2010

Stages of NCAA Tourney Bracket Grief

The New Commandments

In Teen Music Choices, Anxiety Rules

Mar 17, 2010

Can You Alter Your Memory?

Mar 16, 2010

How Tom Hanks Became America's Historian in Chief

Mar 12, 2010

Lesser-Known St. Patrick's Day Traditions

You might find them preferable to screaming "Erin Go Bragh!" for five hours with a shirtless guy named Sully.

Mar 11, 2010

The Shusher and the Shushed: Why It Matters When You Talk During Movies

Mar 5, 2010

Other Ways the U.S. Postal Service Plans to Cut Costs

Looks like we gave up a little too quickly on that whole Pony Express idea, huh?

Popcorn: Cinema's Worst Enemy

Mar 4, 2010

Out of the West: Clint Eastwood's Shifting Landscape

Mar 2, 2010

Cats vs. Dogs

Feb 25, 2010

Crystal Mangum's Return to Court

Feb 16, 2010

How does Facebook make overt self obsession OK?

Feb 15, 2010

Did I Get Married Too Young?

Feb 11, 2010

Obama's "Stupid" Jab at Vegas

Feb 9, 2010

The First Talking Sex Robot: A (Terrified) User Review

Feb 5, 2010

Other Problems Found in Toyota Vehicles

Did we learn nothing from the classic 1986 Michael Keaton comedy Gung Ho?

Feb 1, 2010

The Great American Soap Overdose

Jan 28, 2010

What Makes a Great Teacher?

The Chin Abides

Jan 26, 2010

On the Jury, Gene Weingarten Didn't Believe the D.C. Police's Eyes

Jan 22, 2010

The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures

A Row to Myself

Jan 21, 2010

Secret Rituals of "American Idol" Exposed

Jan 20, 2010

How Team Coco Channels Our Great Recession Anger

Jan 15, 2010

Walk Away From Your Mortgage!

Jan 14, 2010

10 Reasons This Was TV's Decade

Jan 13, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2008-January 2009

From Rod Blagojevich to unpopular holiday stories to the auto bailout (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Jan 8, 2010

Memorable Moments from 2009 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to make a bunch of shit up.

Jan 7, 2010

Hitting Bottom

Jan 6, 2010

How Is Wind Chill Calculated? (Plus 9 More Wind Chill FAQs)

Food Fighter

Jan 5, 2010

Avatar vs. Up in the Air: The Most Symbolic Oscar Race Since Forrest Gump vs. Pulp Fiction

Dec 28, 2009

Having a Healthy Midlife Crisis

Dec 25, 2009

Least Popular Christmas Carols

Good luck going a-wassailing with these.

Dec 24, 2009

A Visit From St. Nicholas

Dec 23, 2009

Excerpts From My Mother's Editorial Notes On My Letters To Santa, 1987-2000

Dec 17, 2009

The Noughties: A Fond(ish) Farewell

Never Listen To Celine? Radio Meter Begs To Differ

The Top Five Beer Towns In the U.S.

Dec 16, 2009

The Best Walking Partner: Man vs. Dog

Dec 14, 2009

We're Thru

Why You Can't Stop Gay Marriage and Marijuana

Dec 11, 2009

Things That Might Be in Your Drinking Water

Waterworld was right: we're just a couple years away from needing to filter and drink our own urine here, people.

Dec 10, 2009

How December 25 Became Christmas

Chaos In Tigerland: A Deadspin Investigation Into The Sexual Habits Of Pro Athletes

Dec 7, 2009

How Dangerous Is It to Read on the Toilet?

Trendy Baby Names a Sign of Group Think?

Dec 4, 2009

The "Palinization" of Palin

Dec 3, 2009

The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

Making Marriage Last: Right Activist Seeks To Ban Calif. Divorce

Dec 2, 2009

That Couple

Dec 1, 2009

The Great Climate Change Scandal

L.A. Clippers Announcers Meet With Iranian Player They "Insulted"

The Puzzle of Boys

Nov 27, 2009

Other Toys Listed on the "Trouble in Toyland" Report

Santa's not the only one that knows who's been naughty.

Nov 26, 2009

Thanksgiving Fantasy Dinner Draft

The Art of Holiday Food.

Nov 25, 2009

I'm a Culture Critic... Get Me Out Of Here!

Nov 24, 2009

A.V. Club Interview: Steven D. Levitt

The Greatest Generation (of Networkers)

Nov 23, 2009

When Mr. Clean Meets Ms. Messy

Nov 20, 2009

'I'm going to tell my son the worst swearword in the world'

Nov 19, 2009

You Can Cut Back on Alcohol

Nov 18, 2009

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2008

From the presidential election to the explosion of the iPhone to the futility of the Detroit Lions (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

9 Tasty Foods Named After People

Nov 13, 2009

How to Avoid the Exhausting Planning and Preparation That Goes into Making a Second Date

Nov 12, 2009

Edit This Page

Nov 10, 2009

Food Ads Make You Fat – Even If You Don't Buy the Food

The Truth About Lying

Too Much Beef

Nov 9, 2009

Will E.T. Look Like Us?

Nov 6, 2009

I hope I get swine flu.

Nov 4, 2009

Awkward Suggestions

Nov 3, 2009

Epictetus the Life Coach

Oct 30, 2009

Least Popular Halloween Costumes for 2009

I mean, come on, if you're not going to dress up as the late Ray Walston, what's the point?

Oct 29, 2009

Let Us Now Praise... the Clich

We'll Show You Who's Funny

Oct 28, 2009

The End Game of Bobby Fischer

Freaked Out Over "SuperFreakonomics"

Letterman and Me

Oct 26, 2009

End State: Is California Finished?

Oct 23, 2009

Balloon Boy Family Excuses

Hey, since when is deliberately misleading and using the media for your own gain considered to be anything other than a fine American tradition?

Oct 22, 2009

What Poker Can Teach Us

"Eating the Dinosaur": Football

Oct 21, 2009

Usain Bolt Would Have Been Outrun By Our Ancestors, Claims Anthropologist

Oct 19, 2009

In Praise of the Crack-Up

Oct 16, 2009

Reasons Why the Math Scores of U.S. Schoolchildren Are Failing to Improve

Won't somebody please think of the children!

Oct 15, 2009

1-800-Political-Venom

Oct 14, 2009

There's No Place Like Home

Offensive Play

Oct 13, 2009

The Very Grouchy Daddy

Decline Is a Choice

Oct 12, 2009

Who Wants To Be a Billionaire?

Obama Becomes Japan's English Teacher

Oct 8, 2009

My Conversations With a Gay Pro Athlete

Writing the Book On the "F" Word

Who Killed California?

Taking the Pill For Past 40 Years "Has Put Women Off Masculine Men"

Oct 2, 2009

Other Reasons Americans Are So Distracted While Driving

Probably because they're trying to come up with clever little blurbs for the snarky joke lists on their podunk website.

Oct 1, 2009

Roman Polanski: What If He Were "Father Polanski"?

Lakeview Terrace

Sep 29, 2009

Why We Should All Be Scared Now That Facebook Has Gaydar

Sep 25, 2009

Is the Internet Melting Our Brains?

Game Brain

Sep 24, 2009

Don't Tweet On Me

"Friday Night Lights": Why Aren't You Watching the Best Show on Television?

Sep 23, 2009

Pimp My Bed: The Male Sleep Lair

Sep 22, 2009

The Case for Killing Granny

Sep 18, 2009

Beagle or Bichon: Can Dog Drool Provide Insight?

Sep 17, 2009

Ernie Harwell's Farewell Comes Amid Tears, Cheers Of Fans

5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed)

Sep 16, 2009

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

When a Parent's "I Love You" Means "Do As I Say"

Sep 15, 2009

Unjust and Ineffective

Why I Don't Assign Homework

Sep 14, 2009

What If Kanye West Is Retarded?

Who Are You Calling Genius?

Sep 10, 2009

Writing Is Easy!

Sep 9, 2009

The Myth of the Overscheduled Child

Sep 8, 2009

The 3 key parts of news stories you usually don't get

Sep 4, 2009

Other Things the Airlines Will Soon Be Charging You For

Because they love to fly, and it shows.

Vintage Vegas, Part II

Sep 3, 2009

You're Never Too Old For Vegas

The Rubber Room

Sep 2, 2009

The Quick 10: 10 Secret Menu Items

A Radical Solution to End the Drug War: Legalize Everything

Sep 1, 2009

The Placebo Problem

A Grand Bargain Over Evolution

Aug 28, 2009

Signs That You're Getting a Little Too Paranoid About Swine Flu

And just when you were starting to get over your SARS mania.

Aug 27, 2009

Mike's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2008-2009 Season

Time to lay the hammer down, bitches!

Why Craigslist Is Such a Mess

Happiness: A Buyer's Guide

Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin

Aug 25, 2009

Status-Quo Anxiety

Selected Scenes from Trauma Clinic: HMO

Aug 20, 2009

Yale Surrenders

Aug 14, 2009

Other Ways the Chevy Volt Will Improve Your Life

Unlike that leech on society, the Ford Escape. Get a job, you hippie!

How is America going to end?

Aug 13, 2009

The Forgotten

Face Of the NFL Is Gone: An Ode To the Single-Bar

The Whole Foods Alternative To ObamaCare

Restating the Case For Human Uniqueness

Are Liberals Seceding From Sanity?

Aug 12, 2009

Look What the Dog Swallowed!

Aug 7, 2009

Telephone Terrorist

Aug 6, 2009

Legalized Sports Betting is Inevitable

Aug 5, 2009

The Courthouse Ring

Aug 3, 2009

Held Hostage in North Korea

Top 10 Bizarre Restaurants

Jul 31, 2009

Other Ideas Considered to Resolve the Gates-Crowley Dispute

After all, it's not like the White House has better ways to be spending its time and resources.

The New Unsafe Sex

Jul 30, 2009

When Novelists Sober Up

Betrayal

Jul 29, 2009

The "President" Has Some Explaining To Do

Other than the mountains of irrefutable evidence that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen, what evidence do we actually have that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen? One patriot dares to ask the tough questions...

Jul 23, 2009

CBS Censors a Racist Rant

XXXL: Why Are We So Fat?

Jul 22, 2009

Summer's Hottest Notes Placed in Illegally Parked Cars

Jul 20, 2009

7 Fatal Injuries (That People Somehow Survived)

Jul 17, 2009

Some thoughts on the anthology

Jul 16, 2009

As American As... Cricket

Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

Jul 13, 2009

More Than Just a Celebration Of a Network

The Patriot's Guide to Legalization

Jul 10, 2009

The Eternal Flush

Jul 9, 2009

Smooth, Segway

Jul 8, 2009

What It Feels Like... to Be Mauled by a Lion

Jul 6, 2009

California Dreamers

Rest Stops, R.I.P.

Jul 3, 2009

New Slogans for Mississippi, the Fattest State in the U.S.

Or: How Mississippi Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cankle.

Jul 2, 2009

Death of an Innocent

Jul 1, 2009

Non-Essential Mnemonics

Jun 30, 2009

Just a Quick E-mail

Jun 29, 2009

Let's Burst the Bubble

Jun 26, 2009

The Tragic End of Michael Jackson

Q&A: The Big Sort

Jun 25, 2009

Heartless: The Disturbing Glee at Mark Sanford's Downfall

The Placebo Effect

Jun 23, 2009

The Top 10 Most Absurd Time Covers of The Past 40 Years

Jun 22, 2009

California Has No Money and Few Options

Jun 18, 2009

Enough Already

My Failed Attempt To Return A Broken "Comfort Wipe"

Jun 17, 2009

Why Nice Guys Should Finish First – But Don't

Jun 16, 2009

How to Approach the Sensitive Question: Anal?

Jun 15, 2009

Norm Macdonald Talks Stand-Up, Teases FX "Reality" Show

Jun 12, 2009

Studying the Finals

Did David Letterman Get a Free Pass?

Orphaned Tweets

Jun 11, 2009

Can Right-Wing Hate Talk Lead To Murder?

I Cook, Therefore I Am

Jun 9, 2009

Nick Popovich, Super Repo Man

The Costliest Ten-Dollar Cat in Texas

Jun 8, 2009

Sly Stallone Pudding & 7 More Unique Celebrity Products

Jun 5, 2009

Less Prestigious 300 Clubs

Sometimes membership does not have its privileges.

Why GM failed

Jun 4, 2009

Call Malcolm Gladwell, I'm a Weight Gain Outlier

Jun 3, 2009

Crazy Talk

Jun 2, 2009

25 And Over

Jun 1, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part II

Let's finish what we started, shall we?

Dear Pixar, From All The Girls With Band-Aids On Their Knees

May 28, 2009

27 Observations About the Goddamn KFC Line I'm In

2012: Tsunami of Stupidity

May 27, 2009

The Show That Counts

May 25, 2009

They Died For You: 10 Things Americans Should Know About World War II

May 22, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part I

Jesse "The Body" Ventura over real gubernatorial candidates, "American Idol's" Kris Allen over everyone else, VHS over Beta, and more...

Least Popular Home Repair Books

Sometimes doing it yourself is best left to other people.

Teenagers Don't Use E-mail

May 21, 2009

Every Chore's An Adventure When You "Muppet Baby" That Shit

Obama Loses His "Cool"

May 20, 2009

Do I Love My Wife? An Investigative Report

"Youth Magnet" Cities Hit Midlife Crisis

May 18, 2009

Don't Listen To Jenny McCarthy

May 15, 2009

Additional Cheerios Claims That Were Shot Down By the FDA

Hey, you can't blame a multi-billion-dollar corporation for trying.

How an Intern Stole NASA's Moon Rocks

Don't: The Secret of Self-Control

May 14, 2009

Katz and Dogs

Gladwell-Simmons II: Ultimate Rematch

Gladwell-Simmons II: Part 2

Gladwell-Simmons II: Part 3

May 12, 2009

Home Is Still Where My Eyes Are

May 11, 2009

The Joy of Exclamation Marks!

May 8, 2009

The Weekly Log, 5/8/09

Lots of stuff to cover this week, folks. We've got sports, we've got TV; well... mostly just sports and a little bit of TV.

Regarding The Jonas Brothers

May 7, 2009

The Internet Saved My Tongue: How I Beat Canada's "Human Rights" Censors

May 6, 2009

How David Beats Goliath

The Worst Parents in the World

May 5, 2009

Magic and the Brain: The Neuroscience of Illusion

May 4, 2009

An Appreciation of Jack Kemp

May 1, 2009

Allow Me to Retort

Joe and I don't always agree – as Isaac (Robert Guillaume) said on Sports Night, if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. Last Friday was like Isaac Day here at Poop Reading.

The Weekly Log, 5/1/09

My descent into Facebook madness continues unabated...

Writing for Nonreaders in the Postprint Era

A Brief History of the 'F' Word

Apr 30, 2009

Justice Stevens Renders An Opinion On Who Wrote Shakespeare's Plays

Apr 29, 2009

Yankee Stadium and the Power of Sports Monopolies

Dark Sugar

Apr 28, 2009

TMQ Breaks Down the NFL Draft

Computer Program To Take On "Jeopardy!"

Inside the Baby Mind

Apr 27, 2009

Generation Me

Apr 24, 2009

Other Controversial, Inappropriate, or Otherwise Odd Remarks Made By Miss USA Pageant Contestants

America's sweethearts say the darndest things.

The Weekly Log, 4/24/09

Gay marriage, Kent Hrbek, and "Chuck."

(this blurb should not be taken to mean that Kent Hrbek is getting gay married to a guy named Chuck. I mean, I haven't specifically heard that he isn't, but, in this particular case, I think we can take the absence of any evidence that he is to mean that he is not)

Guy Walks into a Bar Car

Apr 22, 2009

Brain Gain

Apr 21, 2009

The NFL Draft Must Be Mocked

Thoughts on Pot vs. Alcohol from a Former Police Chief

Apr 20, 2009

Do You Think Bandwidth Grows On Trees?

Apr 17, 2009

Pros and Cons of Being a Somali Pirate

Apparently there's more to it than just pointing at things off the starboard bow and yelling "Avast, ye scurvy dogs!"

Stealing Mona Lisa

The Last Question

Apr 16, 2009

Wall Street On the Tundra

What Do Women Want?

A Threat In Title IX

Apr 14, 2009

Our Lives, Controlled From Some Guy's Couch

Understanding Twitter

Apr 13, 2009

Olympian Political Correctness

Apr 8, 2009

Make It Blockbuster's Last Night

Apr 7, 2009

Unpopular

Apr 6, 2009

Why Legalizing Marijuana Makes Sense

Apr 3, 2009

Andy Rooney Commentaries That Were Rejected By 60 Minutes

It's a fine line between cranky old humorist and becoming a real-life version of Grandpa Simpson.

The Weekly Log, 4/3/09

Thoughts on NASCAR (sort of), "Castle" (watch it), and Uncle Ned Packers Fan (I'll explain...)

Apr 2, 2009

Are You Laughing Now?

Is Chicago's Star Falling?

The Last Sports Reporter

Mar 31, 2009

Nice Move, Mr. Bond, but How's Your Parking?

Mar 30, 2009

To The Giant Among Us

The Little Fellow Who Ruled The World

Mar 27, 2009

The Weekly Log, 3/27/09

A sports team with stupid uniforms finally suffers real consequences; plus, trifling thoughts on "American Idol" and "Dollhouse."

Your Hair is Different

Mar 26, 2009

You Are Not Your Brain

Newspapers Are Dying, and Baseball Fans are Suffering

Mar 24, 2009

Oh, Mother!

Listening to Boredom

Mar 23, 2009

The Legend of Ken Mink

Mar 19, 2009

Too Many Kiddie Cooks Spoil the Broth

How Jon Stewart Went Bad

For Sale: The $100 House

Mar 18, 2009

Home

Mar 16, 2009

Watching Stewart-v-Cramer With Wall Streeters and Working Folks

The Brokest Generation

Mar 12, 2009

To My Special Friend Gordon: 25 DVDs

Mar 11, 2009

5 Failed McDonald's Menu Items

Mar 10, 2009

Boy Toy

Some Post-Oscar Thoughts on Forecasting

Mar 9, 2009

Getting the Ax – It's Awesome

Mar 6, 2009

Least Popular Versions of the Barbie Doll

Let's just say that mistakes were made.

The Weekly Log, 3/6/09

To welcome my second daughter into the world I've got some parenting tips; and for no reason in particular I've got a slight bone to pick with the movie In Bruges.

How Google Is Making Us Smarter

Ye Olde Social Network

Mar 5, 2009

The Internet Is Changing the Game For Celebrities

Mar 4, 2009

Where the Neon Lights Are Bright - And Drivers Are No Longer Welcome

Mar 3, 2009

"Did Babe Ruth Take Asteroids?"

A little kid's question at the Baseball Hall of Fame prompts a father to conclude that the job of the Hall of Fame voter is not the same as the job of a dad.

What Should I Do with My Life, Now?

Mar 2, 2009

A Skeptic's Take On the Public Misunderstanding of Darwin

Feb 26, 2009

Roomba FAQ

Will Hollywood wipe the smile off Ricky Gervais's face?

Feb 24, 2009

The End of a Particularly Funny and Interesting Era

I loved, loved, loved "The Adam Carolla Show." And now it's gone.

Taste Test: Thingamajig vs. Whatchamacallit

Money Made Him Do It

Feb 23, 2009

Oscar Oscar

Feb 19, 2009

Lincoln the Great (Though He Didn't Look That Way at the Time)

Feb 18, 2009

Curious Factoids Revealed by Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin Following An All-Night Presidents Day Pub Crawl

Feb 13, 2009

The Weekly Log, 2/13/09

If Alex Rodriguez is the most hated man in sports right now, hockey player Bryan Little of the Atlanta Thrashers should be the most beloved.

Marry Him!

Feb 12, 2009

Rubbing Him the Right Way

Feb 11, 2009

Job Opening for a Villainous Time-Traveling Sidekick

Understanding A-Rod

Reinvention draws near for Newsweek

How to Get Some on February 14th

Feb 10, 2009

Will Jon Hamm Save America?

A few months ago, Clint Eastwood basically called our generation a bunch of pussies. Was he right? In there anyone out there who can take up the mantle of Clint, or, for that matter, of Harrison Ford? This piece's title might give you a clue...

Dont Be Like Jessica Simpson: A Lesson For Young Girls Everywhere

Feb 6, 2009

The Weekly Log - 2/6/09

In which I cover reality TV and grammar. And if there are two more compelling subjects out there waiting to be tackled, I'd certainly love to hear what they are... yeah. Thought so.

Rise of Citizen Dave

Feb 5, 2009

You're Trashing My Scene!

The Meaning of Sarah Palin

Feb 4, 2009

5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

Feb 3, 2009

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

Harold Ramis Interview

Jan 30, 2009

Professor Uses Mathematics to Decode Beatles Tunes

Jan 29, 2009

"It's a Fat Free Food!  Moo!"

Too much committee thinking and group input will invariably lead to the worst possible solution.

Jan 28, 2009

Take Bacon. Add Sausage. Blog.

Basketball Teams That Wear Long Pants? They're Out There

Lonely hearts club band

Jan 27, 2009

You Got Served

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

The Elements of Spam

A Wonderful Day for Washington, D.C.

Jan 23, 2009

Possible Side Effects of Savella, the Newly-Approved Fibromyalgia Drug

Consult your doctor or pharmacist to learn whether these jokes may be right for you.

One Final Toss For The Dooze

10 Fascinating Meetings in Modern History

The Alaina Rautio Interview

Jan 22, 2009

Obama Takes Oath Again, Faithfully This Time

Ridesharing in the Future

Jan 21, 2009

How the Movies Made a President

25 Ailments That Can Be Cured By Having Sex

Jan 20, 2009

"Supergraphics" Anger Tenants In L.A. Office Buildings

The Game

Jan 19, 2009

Crisis-Aversion Index Cards That Get Me Through a Normal Day

Jan 16, 2009

My Tape Measure - An Appreciation

Jan 14, 2009

How the City Hurts Your Brain

Is Obama a Real Post-Partisan?

Homeland Security USA Reviewed

Jan 13, 2009

From Daguerreotype to Photoshop

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

Jan 9, 2009

The End Matter

Found Objects: The Recently Deflowered Girl

National Mall Reflects Magnificence and Neglect

Jan 8, 2009

Who Checks the Spell-Checkers?

Putting an End to the Lebron-to-NYC Drama

"Wherefore" does not mean where

Jan 6, 2009

First Person Plural

Clint Eastwood: What I've Learned

Jan 5, 2009

Bleeping Expletives

A Series of Letters to the First Girl I Ever Fingered

Jan 2, 2009

11 Words That Sound Offensive, But Aren't

Dec 31, 2008

8 Strange & Different Restaurants

The Seven Best Capers of 2008

Dec 30, 2008

50 Things We Know Now (We Didn't Know This Time Last Year): 2008 Edition

Is Your Netflix Queue Destroying the Environment?

Dec 29, 2008

Why Does Hollywood Hate the Suburbs?

Dec 26, 2008

Memorable Moments from 2008 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Hindsight isn't always 20/20.

Dec 23, 2008

VHS Era is Winding Down

Dec 22, 2008

The Science of the Hangover

Dec 18, 2008

Why History Can't Wait

Dec 17, 2008

Mickey Rourke Could've Been a Contender

Dec 16, 2008

So You've Decided to Attack a World Leader

The contents of a pamphlet found among Iraqi shoe-thrower Muntadhar al-Zeidi's personal effects shed some light on his methods...

Dead Man Laughing

Dec 15, 2008

Corrine

Dec 11, 2008

How Cereal Transformed American Culture

Most Likely to Succeed

Dec 10, 2008

Is Bill Murray NYC's New Party Boy?

Dec 8, 2008

The 7 Dumbest Things Ever Done By Airport Security

Dec 4, 2008

White Russians Arise, This Time At a Bowling Alley

The Most Disturbing Animals on Earth

Dec 2, 2008

A Short History of the Bagel

Nov 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Dinner Fantasy Draft

Nov 24, 2008

Two Meals in Vancouver: Both Crepes

Nov 17, 2008

The Child Trap

Search the Site:

About the Site

Printable Playlist

Suggest a Link

Feed | E-mail

© poopreading.com, all rights reserved – advertising info