POOP READING

May 26, 2017

Ways to Celebrate a Touchdown That Are Still Banned Under the NFL's Revised Celebration Rules

But apparently it's still anything goes when you're celebrating a safety.

May 19, 2017

Things Trump Could Do at This Point That Would Not Shock Anyone

He really is the Lindsay Lohan of presidents.

May 12, 2017

Real Reasons Trump Fired James Comey

Oh, come on, it's not like only one other president in U.S. history had ever fired the director of the FBI before!

May 5, 2017

Provisions in United’s Undisclosed Settlement with the Guy They Threw Off Their Plane

For starters, no more use of the term "legroom" to refer to a space that does not have enough "room" for any reasonable person's "leg".

Apr 28, 2017

Less Publicized Accomplishments From Trump's First 100 Days in Office

Look, 100 days is really only enough time to make America subpar again.

Apr 21, 2017

Things Julia Roberts Gets to Do Now That She's a Five-Time Winner of People Magazine's Most Beautiful Woman in the World

It's no Conspiracy Theory; when that Pretty Woman flashes her Mona Lisa Smile, Everyone Says I Love You!

Apr 14, 2017

Lesser-Known Taxes and Tax Loopholes

So, it turns out besting an IRS agent in a game of chess is not a way to get out of paying your taxes.

Apr 7, 2017

Lesser-Known Smurf Characters

They'll blue you away! [THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN CANCELLED]

Mar 31, 2017

Least Popular Fist Names

And you thought people were bad at naming their kids.

Mar 24, 2017

Fake Hints from Heloise

For God's sake, stay away from the fake horoscopes. You do not want to go around thinking "someone close to you will make a financial decision" when they really won't!

Mar 17, 2017

Lesser-Known Provisions of the American Health Care Act

Putting the "care" in "We don't care"!

Mar 10, 2017

Other Reasons Americans Are Having Less Sex Than They Used To

We prefer to think of it as having more non-sex than we used to. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Mar 3, 2017

College Courses or Sizzler Menu Items

It's an all-you-can-learn buffet!

Feb 24, 2017

Campaign Slogans For and Against the 2016 Oscar Nominees

But really, we all know it's just a warm-up for the BAFTAs.

Feb 17, 2017

Other Secrets General Flynn Shared with the Russians

Loose lips sink presidential administrations. (Fingers crossed!)

Feb 10, 2017

Valentine's Day Plans for Couples Who Feel 50 Shades Darker Isn't Dark Enough

"It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black."

Feb 3, 2017

Other Predictions Made by Punxsutawney Phil

Seeing the future beyond a shadow of a doubt!

Jan 27, 2017

Other Titles Considered for The Last Jedi

Those of us holding out for Star Wars: The Naked Lesbian Romp will have to wait a couple more years.

Jan 20, 2017

Additional Slogans for the Trump Administration

Is America great again yet?

Jan 13, 2017

Rejected Names for the Newly-Discovered Species of Gibbon

"That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!"

Dec 23, 2016

Gifts for the Other Days of Christmas

Maybe this person isn't your true love after all...

Dec 16, 2016

Other Things Drones Will Soon Be Able to Do

[Eyes closed, fingers crossed] Please be "Edit a list of jokes so that I can get back to my bowl of Cheetos"!

Dec 9, 2016

Reasons Old People Are Happier

Don't trust anyone under 50.

Dec 2, 2016

Reasons Americans Are Not Getting Enough Sleep

Ehh, we'll just binge it over the weekend.

Nov 18, 2016

Other Toys on the W.A.T.C.H. Worst Toys List

Santa Claus is coming to town... to testify as part of a class-action lawsuit.

Nov 11, 2016

Surprising Moments from the 2016 Election That May Not Have Actually Happened

Better to remember what didn't happen while we try to forget what did.

2016 NFL Picks - Week 10

You didn't ask for an all-limerick NFL picks column, but you're getting one!

Nov 4, 2016

Other Things That Have Only Happened Once in the Last 108 Years

Fingers crossed we'll make it seven more years without another archduke getting assassinated!

2016 NFL Picks - Week 9

Naturally last week I picked my best week of the season not to select my five favorite games because I didn't "feel good about any of them."

Oct 28, 2016

Signs That You're in a Poorly-Run Halloween Haunted House

This is what happens when we ship all of our haunting jobs overseas.

2016 NFL Picks - Week 8

You can pick NFL games, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick an NFL game's nose.

Oct 22, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 7

Dashed these off real quick so I didn't have to say I missed a week...

Oct 21, 2016

Official Months That Never Got Off the Ground

When you get right down to it, some ideas really feel more “weeky” than “monthy”.

Oct 14, 2016

Other Things Guys Talk About in the Locker Room

Ehh, most of it's about The Hurt Locker, or how much they enjoy shopping at Foot Locker.

2016 NFL Picks - Week 6

Like any of this matters, since the Vikings aren't playing.

Oct 8, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 5

Here goes very nearly nothing.

Oct 7, 2016

Things Overheard During the Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese's

Is it really all that different from what you'd normally hear at a kid's birthday party?

Sep 30, 2016

Changes Planned for Disney's Lion King Remake

Sep 24, 2016

2016 NFL Picks, Week 3

My best bets and my overall picks were both one game over .500 last week. Ride this gravy train to prosperity, everyone!

Sep 23, 2016

Other Candies More Dangerous Than a Bowl of Skittles

But less dangerous than a snifter of Bugles.

Sep 16, 2016

Rejected Pilots for the 2016 Fall TV Season

Hey, you don't cast Kevin James or adapt a popular movie franchise, you pay the price.

Sep 9, 2016

Surprises Found in the New Sully Biopic

Can't wait to see who's doing the voice of the plane!

Sep 2, 2016

Corrections the New York Times Would Like to Make

All the News That's Fit to Misprint.

Aug 26, 2016

Real Reasons for the EpiPen Price Hike

Better apply for a loan now for your next asthma inhaler purchase!

Aug 19, 2016

Other Ways That the Trump Campaign Is Shaking Things Up

Making America Even Greater Again Again!

Aug 12, 2016

Other Olympians People Are Amazed They've Never Heard of Before

This is the slippery slope many warned of when we allowed Mark Spitz to win all those gold medals in 1972.

Aug 5, 2016

Other Benefits of Dental Floss That Remain Unproven

4 out of 5 dentists do not recommend this list.

Jul 29, 2016

Other Ways the DNC Is Different from the RNC

Full disclosure: many of these jokes were written by Michelle Obama in 2008.

Jul 22, 2016

Other Problems Caused By Playing Too Much Pokémon Go

What could possibly be making all these people want to escape reality?

Jul 15, 2016

Things Santa Does in the Summer

Luckily, all the passive-aggressive e-mail hashing out the schedule for the timeshare he splits with the Easter Bunny is overwith by Memorial Day.

Jul 8, 2016

Other Problems Found in Leading Brands of Sunscreen

Time for a return to full body swimwear!

Jul 1, 2016

Signs That Your Fourth of July Party Isn't Patriotic Enough

Shouldn't have prematurely shot your wad on that Flag Day dry run; now you've got a mess on your hands.

Jun 24, 2016

Rejected Disney Sequels

You'd be surprised, but the people who pay Tim Burton to spray neon paintballs all over his wife and Johnny Depp actually say "no" sometimes.

Jun 17, 2016

Things That Will Get You Banned by Donald Trump

Also serves as a handy to-do list!

Jun 3, 2016

Unintended Consequences of the FDA's Plan to Reduce Sodium in the American Diet

Won't somebody think of the snack chips!

May 27, 2016

Other Changes the TSA Is Making to Reduce Wait Times

Finally, more time to spend in the boarding line!

May 20, 2016

Reasons Americans Aren't Using Their Local Park

This is why we can't have nice things.

May 13, 2016

Studies Rejected by Scientific Journals

But happily accepted by the Huffington Post!

May 6, 2016

Other Things Your Dog Doesn't Want From You

Man's best friend? More like dog's annoying co-worker.

Apr 22, 2016

Rejected BuzzFeed Content

Who knew a garbage can could throw stuff away?

Apr 15, 2016

Reasons Your Tax Return Is Likely to Be Audited

You really should have known better than to wear that What Would Wesley Snipes Do bracelet.

Apr 8, 2016

Possible Titles for the Fifth Indiana Jones Movie

Is Jaws: The Revenge already taken?

Mar 18, 2016

Signs That You've Got a March Madness Gambling Problem

Ehh, it's not like you've been using your legs all that much anyway.

Mar 11, 2016

Least Popular Canned Soups

Cans are old news anyway. Everyone's eating soup out of giant Swiss horns these days.

Mar 4, 2016

Ways the Republican Party Plans to Stop Donald Trump

Reality is starting to sink in for the Party of Lincoln.

Feb 26, 2016

Other Items Found in This Year's Oscars Gift Bag

At least all those famous, successful, and wealthy nominees will have something to feel good about if they lose.

Rick Moranis Isn't Retired

Feb 19, 2016

Least Popular Items to Create Using a 3D Printer

Just in time for Easter basket gift season!

Feb 12, 2016

Little-Known Facts About Bernie Sanders

Looks like the skeletons are out of the closet– oh wait, that's just Bernie.

Feb 8, 2016

The Story of Mr. Show’s ‘The Story of Everest’ Sketch

Jan 29, 2016

Unusual Pregnancy Cravings

Eat for two, indeed.

Jan 22, 2016

Other Things Sarah Palin Endorses

She still draws the line at putting lipstick on a pig though. Gotta have standards.

Jan 15, 2016

Pros and Cons of Winning $1.5 Billion

Show me the conflicted emotions!

Jan 8, 2016

Least Used New Year's Resolutions

You might be thinking a little too outside the box.

Dec 18, 2015

Surprises Found in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Did not expect the NC-17 rating. Some things you can't un-see. [Shudder]

Dec 11, 2015

Things Americans Can Do to Raise Their Average Life Expectancy

The answer's probably less salt... unless it's more salt.

Dec 4, 2015

Rejected Meat Loaf Songs and/or Accepted Guy Fieri Restaurant Menu Items

There's a difference?

Nov 20, 2015

Pros and Cons of the New Domino's Pizza Oven Car

What an age to be alive...

Nov 13, 2015

Things Overheard During a Time-Travel-Aided Confrontation Between Jeb Bush and Baby Hitler

It's the Look Who's TalkingInglorious Basterds crossover no one's been waiting for!

Oct 30, 2015

Least Popular Halloween Costumes for 2015

Still more popular than Lincoln Chafee though.

Oct 23, 2015

Other Demands Made By Paul Ryan

Yeah, not like that stupid John Boehner, always asking politely.

Oct 9, 2015

Least Popular Names for Twins

Oct 2, 2015

Additional Volkswagen Claims That Have Been Proven False

Oh, like you've never made hundreds of millions of dollars by lying to millions of people.

Sep 25, 2015

Other Things That Hackers Will Soon Be Able to Steal From You

[Types "How do you install a firewall in your genitals?" into Google.]

Sep 18, 2015

Other Actions That Will Get You Arrested in Irving, Texas

Time to bone up on local civic ordinances! (Though be careful, because boning up will get you arrested.)

Sep 11, 2015

Other Ways the New England Patriots Have Cheated Over the Years

We greatly prefer the unsullied integrity of the Vikings' four Super Bowl losses.

Sep 4, 2015

Rejected Pilots for the 2015 Fall TV Season

Each made the classic TV mistake of not having John Stamos star as a surprised new grandpa. (Watch Grandfathered this fall on Fox!)

Aug 28, 2015

Least Popular Restaurant Chains

Putting the F in food, thanks to the letter grade they got from the health inspector.

Aug 21, 2015

Side Effects of the New "Female Viagra" Drug

Finally, a sex drug that benefits men!

Aug 14, 2015

Items Left on Your Summer To-Do List

Write clever blurb for your list of jokes about fake summer to-do lists.

Aug 7, 2015

Reasons hitchBOT Was Killed

This is why we can't have nice things!

Jul 31, 2015

Reasons You Were Unfriended/Unfollowed on Social Media

Ehh, it's not perfect, but what are ya gonna do? Go back to dealing with people face to face?

Jul 24, 2015

New Discoveries Found on Pluto

Just wait until you see what they found in Uranus!

Jul 17, 2015

Surprises Found in Donald Trump's Personal Financial Disclosure Form

You can't spell "Donald Trump's Money" without "Moody nuns trampled"!

Jul 10, 2015

Other Terrible Things Tom Selleck Has Been Doing While You Weren't Paying Attention

And you do NOT want to know what John Hillerman has been up to. Yeesh.

Jul 3, 2015

Other Questions Hippies Are Being Besieged with in the Wake of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia's Dissent

In the event you cannot find a hippie, please consult your nearest trainyard hobo.

Jun 19, 2015

Twitter Hashtags That Failed to Become Trending Topics

#BetterLuckNextTime

Jun 5, 2015

Ways to Mispronounce the Name of Resigning FIFA President Sepp Blatter

Sepp Blatter, João Havelange, Rodolphe Seeldrayers, Daniel Burley Woolfall... why do the names of former FIFA presidents sound like they were created by a drunken random word generator?

May 29, 2015

Little-Known Facts About the 2016 Republican Presidential Candidates

And knowing is half the battle! (The other half being trying not to shoot yourself in the face as you sit through 17 months of political campaigning.)

May 15, 2015

Rejected Candidates to Replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 Bill

We wouldn't have this problem if we'd just switch to Disney Dollars.

May 8, 2015

Stripper Names or Kentucky Derby Horses

Why can't someone be both, like the late Earl Warren?

May 1, 2015

Surprises Found in the New Avengers Sequel

Who knew that "Directed by Woody Allen" was only the beginning?

Apr 17, 2015

Pros and Cons of Becoming the First First Gentleman in White House History

Why has it taken so long to get a man in the White House?

Apr 10, 2015

Little-Known Facts About Scientology Revealed in the New Documentary Going Clear

[BLURB REDACTED AFTER ADVISEMENT FROM AN ANONYMOUS INSTITUTION WHOSE HELPFUL SUGGESTION SHOULD IN NO WAY BE VIEWED AS CENSORSHIP]

Apr 3, 2015

Other Things That Are Causing Teen Driver Accidents

Teens: Always there when adults need to assign blame for society's ills.

Mar 20, 2015

Ways That Life Will Be Different If California Runs Out of Water

And you won't believe what happens when Idaho runs out of potatoes!

Mar 13, 2015

Possible Side Effects of the "Love Hormone" Nasal Spray

C'mon, no one has ever regretted putting things up their nose.

Mar 6, 2015

Pros and Cons of Daylight Saving Time

How come no one ever talks about Darkness Wasting Time?

Feb 27, 2015

Other Items on Hall & Oates's List of the Best Things in Life, Besides Your Kiss

Not on the list: that bastard Eddie Rabbit. He knows what he did.

Feb 20, 2015

Additional Newly Discovered Dr. Seuss Books

Why let being dead keep you being widely read?

Feb 13, 2015

Other Questionable Claims Made By Brian Williams Over the Years

Proud as a peacock, indeed.

Feb 6, 2015

Other Reasons Parents Choose Not to Vaccinate Their Kid

Ehh, they can always make another one.

Jan 30, 2015

Least Popular Super Bowl Party Foods

Guaranteed to make you punt out of bounds!

Dec 19, 2014

Lesser-Known Holiday Traditions

You know, like Yuletide barrels being flung into a fire, and folks dressed up like pesky Mos Def, etc., etc.

Dec 12, 2014

Other Things Mark Wahlberg Would Like Expunged from His Record

It's a "Perfect Storm" for a "Fighter" who wishes that his problems could be "Departed". (We'd like this blurb to also be expunged from the record.)

Dec 5, 2014

Names That Are More Unfortunate Than Dick Butkus

We're looking at you, Dick Armey!

Nov 21, 2014

Qualities Charles Manson Looks for in a Wife

Why can't he just use OkCupid like most sociopaths?

Nov 14, 2014

Best-Selling Real Estate Novels

It's no wonder Paul never had time for a wife!

Oct 31, 2014

Least Popular Halloween Tricks

Where the lesson is: ALWAYS choose treat.

Oct 24, 2014

Least-Used Hyphenated Words

They're grammar-tastic!

Oct 10, 2014

Signs That You're Getting a Little Too Paranoid About the Ebola Virus

But what if you're not getting paranoid enough??

Oct 3, 2014

Other Things the Secret Service Would Like to Clear Up Regarding the White House Intruder

We are shocked that an organization with the word "secret" in its title would be less than forthcoming with information!

Sep 26, 2014

Other Things People Hate Getting for Free

You've got a lot of nerve being so generous, mister.

Sep 19, 2014

Rejected Pilots for the 2014 Fall TV Season

What can you do? The bar got set awfully high by Selfie.

Sep 12, 2014

Lesser-Known Features of the New Apple Watch

Think of all the time you'll save not having to reach all the way into your pocket or purse to grab your phone!

Sep 5, 2014

Least Popular Soups

Crimes against soupmanity! (Not to be confused with the "soup manatee", the horrifying soup-manatee hybrid that killed all those beach goers in Tampa.)

Aug 29, 2014

Things Jay Leno Has Been Doing Lately

You're never bored when you've got the Dancing Itos on speed dial!

Aug 22, 2014

Least Popular Fundraising Stunts

What we need is a fundraising stunt to raise awareness for failed fundraising stunts.

Aug 15, 2014

Unexpected Items on the School Supply List

And wait 'til you see what's on the lunch menu.

Aug 8, 2014

Rejected Titles for George W. Bush's Book About George H.W. Bush

Any book in your hand is worth two from George W. Bush.

Aug 1, 2014

How Do I Get Out of This Chickenshit Outfit?

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Jul 25, 2014

Songs About Food

Are you ready to wok?!

Jul 18, 2014

Rejected Movie Sequels

What can you do when the bar was set so high by Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid?

Jul 11, 2014

Other Ways Life Is Different for the Harry Potter Characters in Their 30s

Get ready for Harry Potter and the Mysterious Lingering Back Pain!

Jul 4, 2014

Other Ways Corporations Are Like People

Hey, and look! That duck is just like an urban municipality!

Jun 27, 2014

Great Things About Being "Left Behind"

It's still better than jury duty, that's for sure.

Jun 13, 2014

Additional Ways to Leave Your Lover

Whatever happened to the time-honored tradition of writing "See ya!" on an old shoe and leaving it in the mouth of their horse?

Jun 6, 2014

Worst Excuses Ever Given for Missing Work

Of course, if you don't skip out on your job, then you have to come up with an excuse for why you didn't make an excuse.

May 30, 2014

Pros and Cons of Google's Self-Driving Car

Sure, but where's our robot to command the self-driving car for us?

May 23, 2014

Ways Target Plans to Win Back Customers

Mo' data breach, mo' problems.

May 16, 2014

Items on Barbara Walters's Retirement Bucket List

But first she'll take a long, leisurely, on-camera stroll with the bucket around its estate, so you can see that they're totally getting to know one another in a casual, friendly setting.

May 9, 2014

Least Inspiring Sports Quotes

Vince Lombardi must be rolling in his gra– oh wait, nope, that's just the sound of the dryer.

May 2, 2014

Rejected Titles for Moby-Dick

Wait, that's the one they kept??

Apr 25, 2014

Words That Almost Rhyme with Bieber

So close, and yet so far.

Apr 18, 2014

Reasons We're Not Drowning as Often as We Used To

Oh god, what if this means we're not drowning as often as we should?!

Apr 11, 2014

Signs That Your Internet Video Probably Isn't Going to Go Viral

Maybe you'll have better luck with your Arli$$ fan fiction.

Apr 4, 2014

Vladimir Putin Turn-Ons

In Soviet Russia, Vladimir Putin turns on YOU! (Seriously though, he will betray and imprison you.)

Mar 28, 2014

Things That Are Causing Our Lower Back Pain

It's probably due to all the offensive back pain "satire" out there these days.

Mar 14, 2014

Other Behavior That Is Considered "Unpresidential"

Better get it all out of your system when you're a Congressman or Governor.

Mar 7, 2014

Little-Known Facts About "Adele Dazeem"

What's in a name? Or, as John Travolta might say, "Warts own an camel?"

Feb 28, 2014

The Other Side of Darkness

This is one of the movies to come out of our fabulous, scintillating PoopReading.com Movie Draft (which you should totally read first).

Feb 21, 2014

Additional Risks of Sitting Too Much

Some of us prefer to see it as standing too little.

Feb 14, 2014

Other Problems with the Hotels in Sochi

If only Sarah Palin had looked out her window and warned us.

Feb 7, 2014

Ineligible Breeds at the Westminster Dog Show

You can't spell "Westminster Dog Show" without "Tits Showdown Merges"!

Jan 31, 2014

Unusual Promises Made by President Obama During the State of the Union Address

Come on, he's not going to waste his A material on a free TV special.

Jan 24, 2014

Signs That Winter Is Breaking People's Spirit

This does not bode well for the Independent Spirit Awards in March.

Jan 10, 2014

Memorable Moments from 2013 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Sorry, we were busy looking at our phones.

Dec 26, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2012

From bad Halloween costumes to the 2012 election to the new Star Wars movies (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Dec 20, 2013

Least Popular Christmas Characters

Still better than Freddie, the Flag Day Ferret.

Dec 13, 2013

Things You Could Do with $400M

May we recommend buying a costly ad on a little-seen website?

Dec 6, 2013

Other Side Effects of Vitamin D Deficiency

Thank goodness there's plenty of Vitamin D in Sprite! (This week's BvF brought to you by Sprite.)

Nov 22, 2013

Things Americans Are Thankful For

We're the most thankful nation in the world! Take THAT, Sweden!

Nov 15, 2013

Other Mistakes from Over the Years That 60 Minutes Would Like to Retract

They're sorry, but no, there's nothing they can do about Steve Kroft.

Nov 8, 2013

Signs That Your City's Mayor Might Be Smoking Crack

And you were worried about Anthony Weiner's penis.

Nov 6, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2012

From Bigfoot to rejected TV pilots to Invisible Obama (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Nov 1, 2013

Surprising Items Found in Kids' Treat Bags This Halloween

Look, some of us forgot to buy candy, and those underpants had only been worn once!

Oct 18, 2013

Signs That You're Addicted to Oreos

Things fall apart; the creamy center cannot hold.

Oct 11, 2013

Other Amazing Things Peyton Manning Can Do

Soon to be documented in the TV movie The Pass That Fixed Obamacare!

Oct 4, 2013

Additional Demands of the GOP "Suicide Caucus"

We object to the term "Suicide Caucus", when you could have said "Put Myself to Sleep Caucus".

Oct 3, 2013

The Best Show on TV

"Breaking Bad" is gone. But don't cry over spilled meth; there is still greatness out there.

Sep 27, 2013

Lesser-Known Provisions of the Affordable Care Act

Confusing enough to ensure that the uninsured don't feel so sure about their insurance.

Sep 20, 2013

Other Things Starbucks Would Like Its Customers to Stop Doing

It's like they won't even just sit quietly and sip their coffee and maybe eat a couple pastries while listening to this new Paul McCartney album that's on sale for $9.99. Sheesh.

Sep 13, 2013

Rejected Pilots for the 2013 Fall TV Season

Instead, watch James Caan get back in the game in Back in the Game! ABC you on the couch, America!

Sep 6, 2013

Pros and Cons of Swimming for 53 Hours

Just in case you were thinking about trying it yourself.

Aug 30, 2013

Things You Should Do After Labor Day

But why won't anyone give us any do's and don'ts for Grandparents Day?

Aug 23, 2013

Ways to Mispronounce the Name Benedict Cumberbatch

And don't even ask about Shia LaBeouf.

Aug 16, 2013

Least Popular Snack Chips

Which means they're still eaten more often than carrots.

Aug 14, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2012

From unpopular superheroes to Mitt Romney's tax returns to the Octomom porn film (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Aug 9, 2013

Other Things That Are Causing Tension Between Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin

Let's just hope no one serves them a single Eggo waffle.

Jul 26, 2013

Pseudonyms Anthony Weiner Considered Before Choosing "Carlos Danger"

Because you want to make sure the fake name you use for anonymous internet sex reflects the ideas and values of your political campaign.

Jul 12, 2013

Warning Signs People Missed That Aaron Hernandez Might Be a Murderer

It was probably because they were all quiet loners who kept to themselves.

Jul 5, 2013

Less-Heralded Things About Being an American That Are Worth Celebrating This Week

Paging Francis Scott Key and Irving Berlin!

Jun 28, 2013

Additional Movies in the Works That Will Feature a U.S. President

And look for Richard Dreyfuss to reprise his role as Dick Cheney with Bill Pullman as Dan Quayle in Hunting Quayle!

Jun 21, 2013

Other Things Rep. Michael Burgess Has Seen a Fetus Do

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me." "The baby looked at you?"

Jun 14, 2013

Surprising Things the NSA Has Learned from Spying on Americans

It's enough to put you off eavesdropping forever.

Jun 7, 2013

Viewer Complaints About After Earth

Guess this puts the kibosh on After After Earth: The Re-Earthening, huh?

Jun 5, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2012

From lesser-known diseases to the Secret Service scandal to the Cannes film festival (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

May 31, 2013

Additional "Facts" Michele Bachmann Would Like You to Know Before She Leaves Office

The extra N in Bachmann is for "nowledge"!

May 24, 2013

Least Popular Tourist Attractions

Suddenly, spending a week at Aunt Gladys's in Schenectady doesn't sound so bad.

May 23, 2013

The Minnesota Timberwolves Fan's Guide to the Five Stages of Post-Lottery Grief

May 17, 2013

Headlines That Less Mature New York City Newspaper Editors Could Run During an Anthony Weiner Mayoral Campaign

Weiner is the gift that keeps on giving.

May 10, 2013

Least Popular Mother's Day Gifts

And you thought the labor pains were uncomfortable.

May 3, 2013

Less Groundbreaking Revelations About Other NBA Players

Maybe we'll just keep the focus on the court for a while, fellas.

Apr 26, 2013

Alternate Uses for the U.S. Penny

A penny saved is a penny adding approximately 0.080 troy ounces of mass to your home.

Apr 19, 2013

Reasons Some Americans Have Not Filed Their Taxes Yet

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and procrastination.

Apr 17, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2012

From Jeremy Lin to high gas prices to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Apr 12, 2013

Surprising Proposals in President Obama's New Budget Plan

Gotta spend money to make money... unless you decide to just literally make more money.

Apr 5, 2013

Other Alarming Things Kim Jong-un Has Done Lately

Like insane father, like insane son.

Apr 4, 2013

The Late Night Wars Can Finally Declare a Winner: David Letterman

Mar 29, 2013

Complaints of Jon Hamm's Penis

Next up: the philosophical entreaties of January Jones's breasts.

Mar 22, 2013

Rejected Celebrity Reality Shows

Not to be confused with Rejected!, the celebrity reality show where celebrities pitch ill-fated reality show ideas.

Mar 15, 2013

Job Requirements of the New Pope

A job so back-breakingly tough that the last guy quit!

Mar 8, 2013

Other Things That You Should Probably Worry About

Including worrying about whether you are worrying enough the things you should be worried about.

Mar 1, 2013

Additional Ways Sequestration Will Cut Federal Spending

You can't spell "federal sequestration" without "fear eloquent disaster"!

Feb 22, 2013

Other Unusual Deals Being Offered By U.S. Retailers

Buy this blurb and get half off a second blurb of equal or lesser value!

Feb 21, 2013

The Recline and Fall of Western Civilization

Feb 15, 2013

Real Reasons the Pope is Retiring

Do they make an RV version of the Popemobile?

Feb 8, 2013

Rejected New Tokens for Monopoly

It takes a lot of work to come up with something better than a thimble.

Feb 6, 2013

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2011-January 2012

From Black Friday to holiday wish lists to Rick Santorum (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Feb 4, 2013

Feb. 3 Birthday: John Jefferson

Feb 1, 2013

Additional Perks of Being Named Super Bowl MVP

To the victor go the spoils a brand-new 2014 Chevrolet Corvette convertible!

Jan 25, 2013

Terrible Things That Are Already Happening as a Result of Beyoncé Lip-Synching the National Anthem

You ruined everything, ruiner!

Jan 18, 2013

Pros and Cons of Having an Imaginary Girlfriend

Jan 14, 2013

Hits and Misses

Jan 11, 2013

Real Reasons the BBWAA Didn't Vote Anyone Into the Baseball Hall of Fame This Year

Clearly they're saving their votes for the year that Arli$$ becomes eligible for induction.

Jan 8, 2013

Norm Macdonald's Keeping Resolutions, Vol. 1: A Plan in the Desert

Jan 4, 2013

Memorable Moments from 2012 That May Not Have Actually Happened

It's possible we were drinking at the time.

Jan 1, 2013

Fun and Games

Dec 21, 2012

Lesser-Known Reindeer Who Used to Work for Santa

But where's their beloved holiday jingles and stop-motion Christmas specials?

Dec 19, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2011

From Herman Cain to Broadway shows to inappropriate Halloween costumes (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Dec 14, 2012

Least Popular Searches on Google

Boldly going where no man has gone before.

Dec 10, 2012

Guiding Human Behavior Via Guerrilla Social Media Tactics: A Study

Dec 7, 2012

Rejected Names for the New Royal Baby

Ehh, it's not like anyone's going to be paying attention.

Nov 30, 2012

Other Names Considered Before Settling on the Term "Fiscal Cliff"

It's important that we all agree on the term we're going to mutter under our breath later when we're forced to eat pigeons while living in our shantytown.

Nov 16, 2012

Additional New York Jets Complaints About Tim Tebow

Tebow? More like Te-blows! (The Jets would also like to file a complaint about this blurb.)

An NFL Punter To Hall Of Fame Voters: Ray Guy Was Great At His Job. You Suck At Yours.

Nov 15, 2012

Some thoughts and musings about making things for the web.

Nov 9, 2012

Surprising Moments from the 2012 Election That May Not Have Actually Happened

We can really only remember about 47% of it.

Nov 8, 2012

Righties, Lefties, and an Election

Nov 2, 2012

Changes That Will Be Made to the Star Wars Franchise Under Disney

A corporation known for never pinching pennies and a fan base that always handles alterations well. What could possibly go wrong?

Oct 30, 2012

How Hurricane Sandy Brought Back the Old David Letterman

Oct 26, 2012

Least Popular Sexy Halloween Costumes

Guaranteed to put the fright in your All Hallows' Eve night.

Oct 23, 2012

A College That Should Be Disbanded

Oct 19, 2012

Other Things Undecided Voters Can't Decide

To be, or not to be... can they get back to you on that?

Oct 12, 2012

Least Popular Board Games

This is what happens when you buy from Bilton Mradley.

Oct 10, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2011

From the U.S. credit downgrade to the NBA lockout to the HPV vaccine (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Oct 8, 2012

Without Voting, Noncitizens Could Swing the Election For Obama

Oct 5, 2012

Things Overheard at the First Presidential Debate

Now with 20% more quiet snickering about the use of the word "rebuttal"!

Sep 28, 2012

Perks Conceded to the NFL Referees in Order to Get Them Back to Work

Looks like someone's union is contractually ready for some footbaaalll!

Sep 21, 2012

Pros and Cons of Being Jesus' Wife

Even he who is without sin can sometimes be a pain in the ass.

Sep 19, 2012

Steve Sabol, Creative Force Behind NFL Films, Dies at 69

Sep 14, 2012

Rejected Pilots for the 2012 Fall TV Season

Well, they can't all be The Mob Doctor, can they?

Sep 7, 2012

Other Things That Can Be Attributed to Invisible Obama

But will he meet his match in Ultra-Visible Romney?

Sep 6, 2012

The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years

Aug 31, 2012

Pros and Cons of Dressing Up as Bigfoot

It's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle.

Aug 24, 2012

Other "Facts" Rep. Todd Akin Would Like to Share With You

Aug 23, 2012

Why Your Website Sucks, By Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe: A Rebuttal

Aug 22, 2012

I'm Right, You're Wrong and Other Political Truths

Aug 17, 2012

Little-Known Facts About Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan

Because we demand to know everything there is to know about a guy we never heard of a week ago!

Aug 13, 2012

Is Football Wrong?

Aug 10, 2012

Ways That McDonald's Plans to Rejuvenate Their Business

Get ready to indiscriminately shove more things into your food hole!

Aug 9, 2012

Vanity Fair Profiled the Brant Brothers Because Vanity Fair Hates You

Aug 6, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2011

From the GOP candidates to unpopular cereals to the debt ceiling (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Tig Notaro at Largo

Aug 3, 2012

Rejected Summer Olympics Events

Guess the bar was set too high by Equestrian Eventing.

New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change

The Seven Myths of Helicopter Parenting

Aug 2, 2012

Enthralling Books: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

Jul 31, 2012

Patton Oswalt's Letters to Both Sides

Jul 27, 2012

Secrets Hidden in Mitt Romney's Unreleased Tax Returns

Let he who is without millions in income being exempted through the use of dozens of loopholes cast the first stone.

Jul 24, 2012

As Authorities Crack Down, Banksy Enters The Olympic Graffiti Games

Jul 20, 2012

Least Popular Superheroes

Of course, this kind of hurtful rejection is just the sort of thing that turns superheroes into supervillains.

Jul 13, 2012

Lesser-Known Rhyming Aphorisms

If the aphorism doesn't rhyme, then it isn't worth a lousy nickel.

Jul 11, 2012

Relativistic Baseball

Jul 6, 2012

Neighborhood Complaints About Your Behavior on Independence Day

Did you learn nothing from Flag Day?

Jul 2, 2012

Tampa Bay's Fauxback Uniform

Jun 29, 2012

Signs That Your City Is Going Bankrupt

You never should have built it on rock n' roll.

Jun 28, 2012

Hollywood's creative talent wants to be on cable

Jun 22, 2012

Surprises Found in the Octomom Porn Film

Guaranteed to start a new wave of octoeroticism!

The Episode When David Letterman Was Too Tired to Do a Show

Jun 15, 2012

Least Popular Father's Day Gifts

It's enough to drive a man to a vasectomy.

Jun 8, 2012

Signs That Americans' Heads Are Growing Too Large

Damn that Mr. Burns and his Brain & Nerve Tonic!

Jun 6, 2012

On U.S. car license plates, DAMNIML8 is OK, TOILET is not

Jun 1, 2012

Other Things People Might Do While High on "Bath Salts"

We can only assume it's a gateway drug to "bath peppers".

May 30, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2011

From the Rapture to bad prom themes to the Royal Wedding (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Letterman on post-9/11 show: "I remember not wanting to go back"

May 25, 2012

New Ways That Scott Pelley Could Sign Off the CBS Evening News

You stay classy, America's Most Watched Network!

May 18, 2012

Least Popular Films at the Cannes Film Festival

We're pretty sure they're not saying "Boo-urns".

Dan Harmon is No Longer Showrunner on Community

May 11, 2012

Things That Modern Science Cannot Explain

So phrenology's looking pretty good right about now, huh?

May 8, 2012

Movie Titles As Written by the Creators of We Bought a Zoo

May 7, 2012

When Good Movies Are Bad News

May 4, 2012

Other "Oops Moments" Rick Perry Says God Will Forgive

But if you hang toilet paper in the improper underhand fashion, you're on your own.

What Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Said

May 1, 2012

How To Succeed In Tetris and Life: 7 Secrets Of an 18-Year-Old Grand Master

Apr 30, 2012

Veep's Anna Chlumsky on politics, My Girl

Apr 27, 2012

Chien-Ming Wang Headlines That Less Mature Sports Feature Editors Could Try to Run a Few Months From Now

And they're keeping an eye on that Albert Pujols situation in Anaheim.

Apr 24, 2012

Avengers Director Joss Whedon on His Creative Setbacks

Apr 22, 2012

Regrets of the Dying

Apr 20, 2012

New Mottos for the U.S. Secret Service

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask who you can do for your country.

Apr 13, 2012

Questions Asked of Tax Professionals at Filing Time

Nothing is certain except death and taxes... and stupid questions.

Fanfare for the Comma Man

Apr 12, 2012

Nick Offerman on Scotch, Meat, and Making Love to Megan Mullally in Diners

Apr 10, 2012

Every Jump of the General Lee, Seasons 1-6

Apr 9, 2012

Is This The Worst Book Ever?

Apr 6, 2012

Lesser-Known Diseases That Are on the Rise

It's an epidemiological epidemic!

Mar 30, 2012

Ways Americans Are Dealing with High Gas Prices

And don't even get them started on the rising cost of outrage!

Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson: Simply Irresistible

Mar 29, 2012

Making the Case For "Cougar Town" As Best Comedy

Mar 28, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2011

From Charlie Sheen to St. Patrick's Day drinking to the 2010 U.S. Census (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Mar 26, 2012

Your Brain on Fiction

Mar 23, 2012

Other Changes Michael Bay Has Planned for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Franchise

But surely the man who made Pearl Harbor will be faithful to the source material!

5 Reasons "The Walking Dead" Has To Get Better

Please Stop Apologizing

Mar 22, 2012

At 49, Jamie Moyer Is Slower, But Not Stopping

Do Zombies Poop? An Investigation

Mar 16, 2012

Things Overheard in the Customer Lines for the New iPad

Though some of them are probably just getting in line now for the iPhone 5.

Exclusive: Nick Offerman on His New Films, Nudity, and Being Ron Swanson

Sir Jonathan Ive: The iMan Cometh

Mar 15, 2012

A Field Guide to the Middle-Class U.S. Family

Why "Raising Hope" is Fox's "Parks and Rec"

Mar 9, 2012

Other Reasons Peyton Manning and the Colts Are Parting Ways

Nothing old can stay.

Five Things Bob's Burgers Does Better Than The Simpsons

Mar 7, 2012

"Tricky People" Are the New "Strangers"

Mar 2, 2012

Rejected McDonald's Menu Items

Because the company that brought you the Hulaburger and the Arch Deluxe will not tolerate any bad ideas.

Mar 1, 2012

Movie Draft: A Private Life

This is not a romantic comedy. It is a pornographic detour from the promise of human evolution.

Movie Draft: The Village on the River

Bringing to mind the mnemonic: Even Bad Entertainment Requires Tenacity.

Feb 29, 2012

Movie Draft: The New Land

The New Land? More like The Booooo Land. ["I was saying Booo-urns Land."]

Feb 28, 2012

Movie Draft: Man of Iron

The original Man of Steel, Christopher Reeve, is both quadriplegic and dead. You'd still have more fun spending two hours with him than watching this movie.

Feb 27, 2012

Teller Reveals His Secrets

Feb 24, 2012

Campaign Slogans For and Against This Year's Oscar Nominees

At least it's more civilized than the barbed wire steel cage match they use to decide the winners at the Latin Grammys.

Feb 23, 2012

No, The Sopranos Didn't Ruin Television

Feb 17, 2012

Little-Known Facts About Jeremy Lin

It's a truly Jeremcredible story.

Feb 13, 2012

Pass Happy

Feb 10, 2012

Least Popular Valentine's Day Gifts

What could go wrong with a homemade "I Love V.D." T-shirt?

Feb 9, 2012

The Incredible Shrinking Liz Lemon: From Woman To Little Girl

Feb 3, 2012

Reasons That the Super Bowl Party You're Attending Isn't Very Enjoyable

Guess you should've gone to that National Weatherperson's Day party instead.

Feb 2, 2012

The 10 Best Super Bowls in Trivia History

Feb 1, 2012

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2010-January 2011

From Derek Jeter's contract to Santa's naughty list to New Year's resolutions (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Tom Brady: Using the Wrong Part Of His Brain Since 2008

Jan 27, 2012

Surprising Moments From President Obama's State of the Union Address

You can't spell "State of the Union" without "uneaten fish toot."

President John Tyler's Grandchildren Still Alive

Jan 20, 2012

Other Ways Mark Wahlberg Would Have Changed History If Only He'd Been There

Watch out, John Wilkes Booth – you're about to get Italian Jobbed!

I hope SOPA passes.

Jan 19, 2012

The Bob Famine: Athletes Aren't Named 'Bob' Anymore and There's Nothing We Can Do About It

9 Things I Learned In the Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous

Jan 13, 2012

Other Baby Names Considered By Beyoncé and Jay-Z

Ricky Gervais Is Losing His Edge by Not Shutting Up About His Edge

Jan 12, 2012

Is Your Personality Making You Put on Pounds?

Jan 10, 2012

Interview: Nick Offerman on writing a Parks and Recreation script

Jan 6, 2012

Signs That Rick Santorum's Strong Showing in Iowa Is Going to His Head

Looks like someone's drunk on power... and significant amounts of homemade corn liquor.

Jan 4, 2012

Google, Amazon, Facebook, and Twitter considering "nuclear option" to protest SOPA

Jan 3, 2012

I'll tell you why movie revenue is dropping...

Dec 30, 2011

Memorable Moments from 2011 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Remembering the year that wasn't.

My First Time on a Topps Baseball Card

Dec 23, 2011

Items on Your Holiday Wish List That You Won't Be Receiving

Ask and ye shall receive a Starbucks gift card instead.

Dec 21, 2011

I Would Like To Help You Get Your Show Cancelled

Dec 19, 2011

Review: Jason Reitman's Live Read of The Princess Bride

Dec 16, 2011

Other Ways God Has Helped Tim Tebow

Kinda makes you wonder who the Vikings are praying to.

Dec 15, 2011

Im Tired of Paying for Cable Channels I Never Watch

Dec 14, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2010

From celebrity products to George W. Bush's memoir to the trapped Chilean miners (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

A Statement by Louis C.K.

Dec 13, 2011

Manos: The Hands of Fate: Carefully Restoring the Opposite of a Masterpiece

Dec 12, 2011

The Symbolism Survey

Dec 9, 2011

Other Celebrities Who Have Been Kicked Off of Planes

Still, you're nobody until you've been thrown out of a Shoney's.

NFL 2011 - Week 14

The fantasy playoffs have begun... or, if you went up against Pittsburgh's Antonio Brown in last night's game like I did, they might be over before they even started.

Fifty-Eight Reasons I Love Community (One for Each Episode)

Dec 8, 2011

$56 Billion Later, Airport Security Is Junk

Dec 7, 2011

Harry Morgan, Colonel Potter on 'M*A*S*H,' Dies at 96

On the impracticality of a cheeseburger

Dec 6, 2011

Fast Food's Dirty Little Secret: It's the Middle Class Buying Burgers

A Sobering Look at Alcohol: 10-Year Study Finds High Death Rate

Dec 5, 2011

A Wise Man Knows One Thing: The Limits of His Knowledge

Dec 2, 2011

Signs That You're Too Obsessed With Black Friday

A penny saved is a penny you can jab into someone's eye to keep them from grabbing that toaster.

Dec 1, 2011

The Search for a More Perfect Kilogram

Nov 30, 2011

In Val Kilmer's World Crazy Things Seem Normal And Normal Things Seem Crazy

Nov 27, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 12

Just the picks, ma'am. [The full column will be back next week]

Nov 25, 2011

Less Interesting Versions of Famous Book Titles

Yeah, you can go ahead and judge these books by their covers.

Louis C.K.: The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Chick

Nov 18, 2011

Other Things Mike Krzyzewski Can Do Better Than Bob Knight

But Knight will always have that TV movie where he was played by Brian Dennehy.

NFL 2011 - Week 11

Just one more week, and then these pesky byes will be done plaguing fantasy football players forever! Well, or until next season.

Why Community's Hiatus Isn't That Big a Deal

Nov 17, 2011

To Increase Jobs, Increase Economic Freedom

Nov 11, 2011

Least Popular New Broadway Shows

I smell some Tonys! (Oh wait, it's just Danza and Shalhoub.)

NFL 2011 - Week 10

The football picks are back! Not with a vengeance, by any stretch of the imagination... but they're back nonetheless.

Nov 10, 2011

The Culture of Unrest at Penn State

Nov 4, 2011

Herman Cain Pickup Lines or Things People Might Say in a Restaurant

Once you go black, you'll need to sign a binding non-disclosure agreement.

NFL 2011 - Week 9

I'm taking a bye week...

Nov 3, 2011

The Birth Control Solution

Oct 28, 2011

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes

It used to be about the candy, man.

How Revolutionary Tools Cracked a 1700s Code

Oct 26, 2011

Six Reasons to Have Six Kids

Oct 21, 2011

Upcoming Movie Remakes Featuring Talking Animals

And by "talking animal", we don't mean Vin Diesel.

It's Official: To Protect Baby's Brain, Turn Off TV

Oct 20, 2011

After DVDs

Oct 19, 2011

"Sybil Exposed": Memory, lies and therapy

Oct 14, 2011

Other Ideas Netflix is Scrapping

New Coke must be rolling in its grave.

NFL 2011 - Week 6

I sort of rushed this one. Feel free to rush your reading of it.

Do You Have Baby-Naming Remorse?

Oct 12, 2011

Steve Jobs

Oct 11, 2011

The Geniuses We'll Never Know

Oct 10, 2011

Bosses of the Bay

Oct 7, 2011

Things Republicans Are Willing to Do If It Will Help Them Avoid Having Mitt Romney as Their 2012 Nominee

Looks like somebody poo-pooed the idea of Thaddeus McCotter a little too hastily.

Oct 5, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2010

From Glenn Beck University to the fall TV season to the Ground Zero mosque debate (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Oct 4, 2011

iPhone 6 Rumor Roundup

Sep 30, 2011

Other Amazing Things That Happened on the Last Night of the MLB Regular Season

But no, you just had to watch Harry's Law, didn't you?

Sep 27, 2011

The PoopReading.com Top Ten TV Shows of the 2010-2011 Season

In which all of our lists, combined, tell you all you really need to know about what you should be watching.

Biology 101: Table setting

Sep 26, 2011

David Javerbaum of "The Daily Show" and Adam Schlesinger of Fountains of Wayne Go Broadway With "Cry-Baby"

Sep 23, 2011

Other Side Effects Michele Bachmann Claims Are Caused by the HPV Vaccine

And don't get her started on that ridiculous polio booster.

Tenessa's Top Ten TV Shows from the 2010-2011 Season–Which Are Only in the Top Ten by Virtue of Having Been Watched at All by Tenessa

I really need to stop spending so much time with my family to make room for better TV.

Producer Gavin Polone on Why Remakes Are Killing the Movie Business

Sep 16, 2011

Rejected Pilots for the 2011 Fall TV Season

Of course, an approved pilot is simply one that gets rejected a month later.

Not About Steve

Sep 15, 2011

TV Review: The CW's  H8r

Sep 12, 2011

Coercive Charity Auction

Sep 9, 2011

Least Popular Super Powers

What, like the British Empire and the Soviet Union? (Historical zing!)

Sep 7, 2011

Spoilers don't spoil anything

Why Netflixs Setbacks Shouldnt Make You Smash Your iPad in Anger

Sep 2, 2011

Other Things You Shouldn't Do After Labor Day

This can also serve as a handy to-do list of things to squeeze into your last weekend of summer.

Buccaneers Switch from Playbook to iPad

Sep 1, 2011

How To Become a Twitter Superstar

Aug 30, 2011

Birth of the nerd: The mysterious origins of the word

Aug 26, 2011

Things NBA Players Can Do to Pass the Time During the Lockout

If there's a worse time in life to have nothing to do than when you're young, athletic, and rich, medical science has yet to discover it.

How to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela

Aug 25, 2011

Most Online Daters Say They Like "30 Rock" In Order To Get Laid

What's It Like To Have Your Film Flop At the Box Office?

Aug 23, 2011

What Ever Happened to Class?: In Which I Attempt to Pinpoint the Exact Moment Dignity Died

Aug 19, 2011

Special Features of Ground Force One

Go Ground Force and leave the driving to POTUS!

Q&A: 'Futurama's' Maurice LaMarche - One Of The Hardest Working Voices In Animation

Aug 18, 2011

An Open Letter To Andy Serkis

Aug 15, 2011

No Plans for 2013, but an Actor Seems Focused on the Mayors Office

Aug 12, 2011

New Mottos for the U.S. in Light of the Credit Downgrade

A downgrade is just an upgrade turned upside down!

Instructions for the Best Camp Closing Ceremony Ever.

Aug 11, 2011

Louie's Brilliant Second Season

Self-Awareness: Pop-Culture's "Get Out of Jail" Card

Aug 10, 2011

The Heady Thrill of Having Nothing to Do

Aug 8, 2011

Can a heat wave make you insane?

Aug 5, 2011

Ways Life Might Be Better Under the Rule of Apes

Perhaps we'll learn to love every ape we see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.

Did the Nazis invent Fanta soft drinks?

I'm rich; tax me more

Aug 4, 2011

Do I Repeat Myself?

Aug 2, 2011

Does Grieving for Amy Winehouse Distract from Bigger Tragedies?

Jul 29, 2011

Changes Being Made to Pro Football in the Wake of the New NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement

Are you ready for some post-union-decertification-and-possible-violations-of-antitrust-law football?!

The Professor and the Pornographer

The Campaign For Real Monopoly

Jul 28, 2011

The Left-Leaning Tower

When Innies Love Outies: How Odd Couples Cope

Jul 27, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2010

From Mel Gibson to the Russian Spies to the vuvuzela (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Jul 26, 2011

The Best Show On TV

I wish I had more to say about "Breaking Bad." Unfortunately, it's so good that I'd feel silly adding anything.

Facebook: Personal Branding Made Easy

The Mother of All No-Brainers

Jul 22, 2011

Things That Might Happen if the U.S. Fails to Solve Its Debt Ceiling Crisis

"Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?" "Mmm, yes I would, Kent."

An Investment Manager's View of the Top 1%

The world's biggest problem? Too many people.

Jul 21, 2011

O'Brien Flops!

Let's Ban Books, Or At Least Stop Writing Them

Jul 20, 2011

Emmys Failure Analysis: Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Jul 19, 2011

Why David Brent Is a Good Guy

Jul 15, 2011

Rejected Crayola Colors

But at least they have Pantone as their safety corporation.

An Ex-Pixar Designer Creates Astounding Kids' Book On iPad

Reason Seen More as Weapon Than Path to Truth

Jul 11, 2011

The Star Market: Can Jason Bateman Unarrest His Development?

Jul 8, 2011

Other Changes Being Made to Facebook

Helping you connect and share with the people in your life even when none of you is exactly sure why.

Always On: How the iPhone Unlocked the Anything-Anytime-Anywhere Future

Jul 7, 2011

"But who versus? Who are we doing it versus?"

Jul 6, 2011

Trying to Sell a Comedy Movie? Ha.

Jul 5, 2011

Talking (Exclamation) Points

How Words Have the Power to Heal

Jul 1, 2011

Film Critic Complaints About Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Well, it's no Freddy Got Fingered, that's for sure.

Megan Mullally Talks Childrens Hospital, the Party Down Movie, and a Tammy vs. Tammy Showdown

Are You a Secret Hero?

Jun 30, 2011

Sporcle Website Scores Big With Trivia Quizzes

Jun 29, 2011

From Super 8 to Pixar: Oscar-Winner Michael Giacchinos 5 Pro Tips for Making it as a Film Composer

When Innies Love Outies: How Odd Couples Cope

Jun 28, 2011

Fields of Dreams

Jun 24, 2011

Least Popular Breakfast Cereals

Though they're all still preferable to Kellogg's Mueslix.

Kind of Screwed

John Lasseter on the New Oscar Rules and Directing Cars 2 on His iPad

Jun 23, 2011

A Raw Voice of Young Manhood Makes a Bid For Literary Respect

Jun 22, 2011

Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts Talk Larry Crowne, Career Lows, and the Bosom Buddies Reunion That Almost Was

Jun 21, 2011

In Defense of Tracy Morgan

Jun 17, 2011

Little-Known Facts About the GOP Presidential Candidates

The more you know, the less you understand.

John Lasseter on Pixar's early days – and how Toy Story couldn't have happened without Tim Burton

Kids who spot bullshit, and the adults who get upset about it

Jun 16, 2011

The Age of Too Much Information

Jun 15, 2011

Jon Benjamin Debated Making Love to a Man Who Mistook Him for Bruce Willis

Jun 14, 2011

The Outsiders

Jun 10, 2011

Other Reasons for Sending Someone a Picture of Your Cock

It should be noted that ladies never need a reason to show us their boobs.

Jun 7, 2011

She texted. We kicked her out.

Less Than Great Expectations

Breakfast Cereals Americans No Longer Love

Jun 3, 2011

Other Reasons People Hate the Miami Heat

They're not booing; they're saying "South Booeach".

Oprah, Schmoprah: Introducing The Norm Macdonald Book Club

Jun 1, 2011

'I Spilled My Soda,' Report Nation's Dopes

Your Commute Is Killing You

May 31, 2011

5 Writing Tips for the People Who Send Me Death Threats

Take a Stroll with Rob Delaney: I Make Babies

May 27, 2011

Family Feud Questions That Failed to Get 100 Survey Responses

And you thought Jeopardy was tough.

May 26, 2011

Fair Verona is Ready For Takeoff

May 24, 2011

The Rise of "Logical Punctuation".

Revenge of the Squares in North Dakota

May 20, 2011

Reasons You Won't Be Getting Raptured

Don't worry – everyone who's left behind gets a free small Enchirito at Taco Bell!

One Man Show

May 19, 2011

Behind Arnold's Deception

May 18, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2010

From the BP disaster to the NASCAR Hall of Fame to the season finale of Lost (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Technology Jokes

May 17, 2011

Grace and humility defined the great slugger Harmon Killebrew

Cee Lo, the Times, and "Fuck You"

May 13, 2011

Lesser-Known Kama Sutra Positions

You might want to do some stretches first.

Frank Sinatra Slang

Why Whites Avoid Movies With Black Actors

May 12, 2011

Perkins Criticizes Thunder After Win

May 11, 2011

Albert Brooks on His Futuristic Novel and Twitter Hecklers As Modern-Day Serial Killers

May 10, 2011

Phil's Last Game

May 9, 2011

Albert Brooks on his new futuristic novel: I wanted it to read like a news story

Duerson Found to Have the Brain Trauma He Suspected

May 6, 2011

Unfinished Items on Osama bin Laden's Bucket List

Get out there and live life, because you never know when you might get shot in the face by Navy SEALs while hiding out in your secret, fortified compound in Pakistan.

The Case for Cursive

May 5, 2011

An In-Depth Review of the "Maxim" 2011 Hot 100

If you take a dispassionate look at this list from a sociological standpoint, it does make the exercise seem a bit less unseemly.

Schadenfreude For the Non-Believer

May 4, 2011

Albert Brooks Laughs His Way Through Dystopia

The Joy of Researching the Health Benefits of Sex

May 3, 2011

Closing Pandora's Box

May 2, 2011

Who Will Remember Paul Simon?

Apr 29, 2011

Things Overheard at the Royal Wedding

If you listen closely, you can actually hear the stuffiness!

Judging People

The Funny Side of Death

Apr 27, 2011

Hate Thy Neighbor

Apr 26, 2011

Stop Obsessing about Typos–Your Users Need Help

Apr 22, 2011

Things to Look Forward to in a Trump Presidency

Be careful what you vote for.

Donald Trump: Magnificent Bastard

The Sad, Beautiful Fact That We're All Going To Miss Almost Everything

Tina Fey and Steve Martin, mano a mano in Los Angeles!

Apr 21, 2011

Lower the Drinking Age For Everyone

Beware the In-Laws

Apr 19, 2011

Tiny Beautiful Things

My Heartfelt Thanks to Community (And What I Learned from Chevy Chase)

Apr 18, 2011

Norm MacDonald Is Back With a New Show, More Frank Stallone Jokes, and a Weird Stalker

It's Not Britney, Bitch.

Apr 15, 2011

Bad Prom Themes

You want an event where you awkwardly slow dance in rented clothes under the supervision of your teachers to feel special.

Apr 14, 2011

Finland's Educational Success? The Anti-Tiger Mother Approach

Apr 12, 2011

Game of Thrones' Author: I'm Only "Vaguely Aware" of Lost Feud

Apr 8, 2011

New Slogans for the Obama Reelection Campaign

You can't spell "reelect Obama" without "acrobat melee."

Why Do We Let Girls Dress Like That?

The real reason for the decline in teen births

Apr 7, 2011

The Human Brain: Turning Our Minds To the Law

Apr 6, 2011

Sports Show Offers Comedian a Comeback

How Dumb Are We?

Apr 5, 2011

The Kids Truly Are All Right

Apr 4, 2011

A Second Look at: Bob's Burgers

Bob's Burgers

Apr 1, 2011

Additional Changes AMC Wanted to Make to Mad Men

Up next: The Walking Dead with less zombies and more sexy singing teens.

On a Mission

Mar 30, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2010

From the Winter Olympics to Joe Biden to the Toyota recall (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Sarah Silverman Talks Peep World and Distancing Herself from "Jewish Comedian Sarah Silverman"

Mar 29, 2011

Tim Pawlenty: Can a Placebo Win the Presidency?

Mar 25, 2011

Other Surprising Facts Found in the 2010 U.S. Census Data

Well, other than the fact that there sure are a lot of people with the last name Jablome.

The Battle for Our Hearts and Minds will Be Fought in Los Angeles

Mar 23, 2011

Words Of Advice For Rhett Bollinger, The New Twins Beat Writer

Mar 22, 2011

Author David Sedaris Confesses to Being a 'Horrible Person'

A Cure for Writer's Block

Mar 18, 2011

Signs You Got Drunker Than You Realized on St. Patrick's Day

But less drunk than you got on President's Day. (Shudder)

The Egg

Which Traits Predict Success? (The Importance of Grit)

Mar 15, 2011

Remembrance of Things Assed: How My Childhood Friend Became an Internet Laughingstock

Mar 11, 2011

Things Emilio Estevez Has Been Up To Lately

It's not easy bein' a Sheen.

Mar 9, 2011

Will future generations understand "The Simpsons"?

Mar 8, 2011

With Bridesmaids, Can Judd Apatow's Dude-Friendly Formula Go Girly?

End of Days in May? Believers Enter Final Stretch

Mar 7, 2011

Trading Liriano Would Not Be Rational, But the Twins May Still Do It

Mar 4, 2011

Reasons Americans Are Fatter Than Canadians

That just means there's more of us to hate.

Why That Slate Article Pissed You Off (And Why You Should Be Livid)

Oscar essential: The movie trailer

Mar 3, 2011

The Best Show on TV

Now that "Friday Night Lights" is off the air, this title might start changing hands a bit more often.

Sex Is Cheap

Mar 1, 2011

Interview: Lisa Ling of "Our America"

'Wizard of New Zealand' Leaving Christchurch after Quake

Nice Girls

Feb 25, 2011

Ways Your Cell Phone is Affecting Your Brain

Not to be confused with ways your cell phone affectation is affecting your social life.

Feb 24, 2011

Movie Draft: Rhubarb

When you hear a movie is "quirky," that usually just means you're going to have to pretend to like it if you don't want your hipster friends to think you're stupid. Luckily for us, Rhubarb is the other kind of quirky. The kind that's actually just good.

PokerNews Interview: High Stakes Poker Host Norm Macdonald

Feb 23, 2011

Movie Draft: Below the Belt

Christian Bale has made a new movie about being kicked in the balls: an experience vastly preferable to watching his movie.

Movie Draft: The Remarkable Andrew

Easily the most Andrew film you will ever see about a time-traveling Edgar Allan Poe.

Feb 22, 2011

Movie Draft: Honeybaby

When is a Just Like Heaven ripoff just like Heaven? When I say so!

Movie Draft: Nocturna

Just once it'd be nice to see a movie with a title like a hipster absinthe beverage, a plotline involving murder and forcible rape, and a naked Annette Bening on a piano, and have it turn out good.

Feb 18, 2011

Things Americans Were Paying Attention To While That Whole Egypt Thing Was Going On

In our defense, we're used to learning about Egypt's past. Who knew they had stuff worth paying attention to in the present?

Neil deGrasse Tyson on the "science should be used to improve life" argument

Feb 17, 2011

IBM's Watson Trounces Puny Humans at "Jeopardy!"

For 2012, GOP's Best Hope May Be Losing

Feb 11, 2011

Things Charlie Sheen Has Learned in Rehab

That Hanes commercial where he tosses his phone into the back seat of Michael Jordan's car makes a whole lot more sense now.

Feb 10, 2011

Ferris Bueller's Day Off at Wrigley Field

Feb 9, 2011

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2009-January 2010

From Tiger Woods to Avatar to the NBC late night fiasco (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Key to Happy Marriage: Mom Cooks, Dad Plays?

Snakes on a Plane Director Fighting to Call His Next Film Untitled 3D Shark Thriller

Feb 8, 2011

Fight for Libraries as You Do for Freedom

Feb 7, 2011

The Dirty Secret of Apple's Design

Feb 4, 2011

Other Things Dogs Can Detect By Smell

And, just like Homer Simpson, they can also hear pudding.

Mickey Mantle's outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium

Feb 3, 2011

Please Stop Quoting These Comedies Forever Immediately

Feb 2, 2011

After The Wire

Communitys Donald Glover on TV Ratings and a Worrisome Arrested Development Comparison

Feb 1, 2011

'Oscar Curse' Study: Researcher Weighs In

The Enema of Your Enemy Is Your Friend

Jan 31, 2011

Paul Rudd and Jesse Peretz on Bushy Beards and Their Sundance Comedy My Idiot Brother

Jan 28, 2011

Reasons Your Film Was Not Nominated for Best Picture

They can't all be Scent of a Woman, can they?

Why 3D doesn't work and never will.

If This Fusion Restaurant's Website Could Talk

Jan 27, 2011

"Community," The Most Hilariously Ambitious Sitcom on TV

Jan 21, 2011

Unusual Weather Events on Tap for 2011

You can't spell "forecasting" without "ignore facts!" (Or "finger tacos," for whatever that's worth.)

Eek! A Male!

Jan 20, 2011

59 Famous People Who Died Before Age 40

Jan 19, 2011

Parks and Recreation Makes Plans for More Laughs

Jan 14, 2011

New Year's Resolutions That You've Already Broken

Don't feel too bad, you can always try again with your Groundhog Day Self-Improvement Oaths!

Ricky Gervais returns as Golden Globes host, and this time no one's safe

Elusive Forger, Giving but Never Stealing

Who's Afraid of the Verizon iPhone?

Jan 13, 2011

Can Tim Pawlenty Light a Fire With Republicans?

Jan 12, 2011

List of Jokes and Story Ideas by Former Simpsons Showrunners Hints at What Might Have Been

Jan 11, 2011

The Cloudy Logic of 'Political' Shootings

Bill Murray will crash your karaoke party

Jan 10, 2011

So Crazy, It Just Might Work

Jan 7, 2011

Memorable Moments from 2010 That May Not Have Actually Happened

It was the best of fictitious times, it was the worst of fictitious times.

Boredom Enthusiasts Discover the Pleasures of Understimulation

How to Pick the Perfect Brand Name

Jan 3, 2011

Joel and Ethan Coen

Dec 31, 2010

A Somewhat Obsessive Guide to All 36 Seasons of SNL Streaming on Netflix

Dec 29, 2010

50 Amazing Facts for Our 50th Issue

Dec 28, 2010

A Personal Essay by a Personal Essay

Dec 24, 2010

Actions That Will Put You on Santa's Naughty List

Get ready for some extra-lumpy coal!

Caring for Your Introvert

Dec 21, 2010

The Easiest Path to an Academy Award

Dec 17, 2010

Pros and Cons of Being Time Magazine's Person of the Year

If a meaningless award is given out by a dying industry, does it still make a sound?

How I got an uncooperative eBay buyer to pay for her purchase.

A Bayesian Take on Julian Assange

Dec 15, 2010

Lee Does the Unthinkable, Spurns Yankees

Dec 10, 2010

Surprising Things Found in the Pockets of Your Winter Coat

And just wait 'til you see what's in the pockets of your summer hot pants.

The Men Who Stole the World

Dec 9, 2010

Like Monopoly in the Depression, Settlers of Catan Is the Board Game of Our Time

Dec 8, 2010

The Year in TV

Open This Story in a New Tab

Dec 7, 2010

Cat Box

The 10 Best Comedians of 2010

Dec 6, 2010

Intense Parenting Comes at a High Cost

Dec 3, 2010

Additional Contract Demands Being Made by Derek Jeter

Because you can't spell "Pay Derek Jeter good" without "Ode to a greedy jerk."

Mystery Surrounds Cyber Missile That Crippled Iran's Nuclear Weapons Ambitions

A Waste of Money and Time

Dec 2, 2010

Baby Names Reveal More About Parents Than Ever Before

Talking Tough and Drawing Viewers, Christie Is a YouTube Star

Dec 1, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2009

From the Balloon Boy to distracted driving to the Sarah Palin memoir (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Nov 30, 2010

Leslie Nielsen

Nov 29, 2010

Tim Meadows Takes Us Through the Realities of a Post-SNL Career

Nov 26, 2010

Other Things the Pope Says It's Okay to Do Now

Best papal decrees EVER.

Nov 25, 2010

The 9 Manliest Names in the World

Nov 23, 2010

Flying Hellfish Abe Simpson

Nov 19, 2010

Additional Airport Security Measures Being Planned by the TSA

Now putting the T&A in TSA!

America's Dirtiest Interview: Mike Rowe Talks About Work

TSA to investigate body scan resister

News Flash: Deadly Terrorism Existed Before 9/11

Nov 17, 2010

Why NBC made the right call in putting Parks and Recreation on after The Office

Parents Are Junkies

Nov 16, 2010

I Am Sorry That I Didn't Write a Comedy Piece

Nov 15, 2010

Sweet Action: 8 Big Bets Made by Famous People

Nov 12, 2010

Surprises Found in the New George W. Bush Memoir

Guaranteed to catch you more off guard than a Category 5 hurricane in the Gulf.

Reconsidering Two and a Half Men

Yankees Try to Calculate the Value of Derek Jeter's Legacy

Nov 10, 2010

Lizzing, Mind Grapes, Sabor de Soledad, and Beyond: A 30 Rock Glossary

Nov 9, 2010

Democrats didn't lose the battle of 2010. They won it.

Chemicals in Food Can Make You Fat

Nov 5, 2010

Ways the Democrats Plan to Win Back the American Public

Have they even tried standing outside the American public's window holding a boom box that's playing Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"?

My Son Is Gay

For the First Time, the TSA Meets Resistance

Nov 4, 2010

San Francisco Bans Happy Meals

Will the World Really End in 2012?

Nov 3, 2010

Comedians Laugh as Leno Sinks

Nov 2, 2010

How Justin Long Affably, Reasonably Ended An Internet Flamewar

Breathless Myths and Stodgy Realities of the 2010 Election

Oct 29, 2010

Halloween Activities That Sound Like Sexual Euphemisms

You'll never look at an Oh Henry! the same way again.

'Stranger Danger' and the Decline of Halloween

British Airways attacks U.S. airport security demands

Oct 28, 2010

The Republic of Paperwork

"Friday Night Lights": The 10 Most Emotional Moments

Oct 27, 2010

Will Forte, Megan Mullally Guest on Parks and Recreation

No Longer "Must-See TV"

Oct 26, 2010

You Can Help It Get Better

Oct 22, 2010

Additional Changes Being Made to Barnes & Noble Stores

Surely you can't go wrong founding your business model on the assumption that Americans will read more books.

Steve Martin Getting Wild and Crazy Online

Oct 21, 2010

What I Would Be Thinking About If I Were Billy Joel Driving Towards A Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going To Be A Piano

How To Write Like a Cartoonist

Oct 20, 2010

I'm Very, Very, Very Sorry... Really?

Oct 19, 2010

Benoit Mandelbrot, Novel Mathematician, Dies at 85

Oct 15, 2010

Ways to Pass the Time While Trapped in an Underground Mine

Sadly, it's still preferable to being delayed in an airport terminal.

The Slippery Slope of the MPAA's New Ratings Policy

8-Year-Old Sells Paintings for Up to $250k

Oct 14, 2010

Writing a Sex Scene Is an Impossible Task

Oct 12, 2010

Street Artist Banksy Creates Dark Opening For 'The Simpsons'

10 Ways Brad Womack's Return to 'The Bachelor' Is Exactly Like 'Weekend at Bernie's 2'

Oct 11, 2010

Bad Calls in Baseball

Oct 8, 2010

Activities That Are Still Not Recommended During Pregnancy

Nobody wants a crack baby, but where is the next generation of reality TV stars going to come from?

Sex Advice From Todd Barry

Oct 6, 2010

Sniffing .300, Hitters Hunker Down on Last Chances

Oct 5, 2010

Does Knowing Your Colleagues' Salaries Make You Happy or Disgruntled?

Oct 1, 2010

Other Products Being Launched by Celebrities

But not into space. That's a whole other deal.

Scientists use hovering zeppelin to film whales

Sep 30, 2010

Greg Giraldo: Remembering the Great Insult Comedian

This Is a News Website Article About a Scientific Paper

Sep 29, 2010

In Bing Crosby's Wine Cellar, Vintage Baseball

Sep 24, 2010

Signs That the Documentary You're Watching Might Not Be Legitimate

It's a fine line between film and flim-flam.

Whatever Happened to Walking to School?

Sep 23, 2010

The Week 'There's Nothing Good On' Died: Premiere Week, September 2010

Sep 22, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: August-September 2009

From Kanye West to swine flu to the Chevy Volt (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Comic Timing

The Strange Case of Troy Tulowitzki

Sep 21, 2010

The Top Ten Shows of the 2009-2010 TV Season

If you don't watch these shows, you're bad and wrong.

The PC Term is "Hymenally Challenged": Teen Movies And You

The Urge to Purge: A New Breed of Young Minimalist

Sep 20, 2010

They Had Great Character

Sep 17, 2010

Rejected Pilots for the New Fall TV Season

Unfortunately, Outsourced wasn't one of them.

Why We Relate to Louis C.K.

Et Tu, Brooklyn?

Sep 16, 2010

Celebrities Discover the Downside of Twitter

25 Things Chefs Never Tell You

Sep 14, 2010

Tenessa's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2009-2010 Season

If you've been waiting for somebody to compare Modern Family to The Sopranos, you're in luck!

Monster House Writer Dan Harmon Responds to Terrified 7-Year-Old, Slams Spielberg

Sep 13, 2010

Why Pete Rose's Record Will Stand

Sep 10, 2010

New Ways to Get Americans to Quit Smoking

Next, we can work on ways to get Americans to quit trying to get other Americans to quit stuff.

Are You Being Served?

Sep 8, 2010

Letter to a 43rd-Round Draft Pick

A Niche of the Unreal in a World of Credulity

Sep 3, 2010

Additional Courses to Be Offered at Glenn Beck University

Before applying, just make sure you have a safety school, like O'Reilly Tech, Hannity College, or Dartmouth.

America's Most Underestimated Company

The Fear Tax

Sep 2, 2010

The Best Job Ever – My One-Figure Deal With the Minnesota Twins

Deep-Fried Beer Invented In Texas

Sep 1, 2010

Want to save arms from blowing out? Don't put them in, coach

Aug 31, 2010

Why Randy Quaid Is Better Than The Indianapolis Colts: An Analysis

This Is Not a Recovery

Aug 27, 2010

Surprising Stipulations Found in the Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement

Luckily, there's enough green jackets for everyone in the family.

Why Free Parking Comes at a Price

Aug 26, 2010

Fake Jail, Real Money: The Similarities Between Wealth And Confinement

Aug 20, 2010

Other Construction Projects Deemed Too Inappropriate to Be Allowed Within Five Blocks of Ground Zero

If you build it, they will scrum.

Aug 13, 2010

Ways JetBlue Plans to Improve Employee Morale

If you're JetBlue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where you can earn plaudits: puttin' on the PR blitz.

Aug 12, 2010

Don't Worry: The Romantic Comedy Is Not Dead At The Hands Of Gerard Butler

Aug 10, 2010

Internet neutrality: Verizon, Google, and the Woody Allen problem

Resistance Forms Against Hollywood's 3D Push

Aug 9, 2010

Oakland Goes Hollywood with Brad Pitt's Moneyball Production

Aug 6, 2010

Reasons Brett Favre is Being So Indecisive

You can't spell "Favre indecision" without "divine fiasco." (You also can't spell it without "fine vino sidecar," but that's just silly.)

Aug 5, 2010

Review: That's Kick-Ass Entertainment

Review: Kick-Ass

Aug 4, 2010

12 Star-Powered College Roommates

Kevin Kline on The Extra Man and How to Pee in Public in New York City

Aug 3, 2010

Dude, Where's Your Car?

Jul 30, 2010

Other Things Obama Fears Will Be WikiLeaked

Loose lips, now at your fingertips!

Now That You Mention It, Rock Hudson Did Seem Gay

Jul 28, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2009

From Sarah Palin to rejected Jeopardy! categories to the Congressional health care bill (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Louis C.K. Stares at the Void

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Boring

Jul 24, 2010

Reasons Mel Gibson Is So Angry

Oh like you've never been caught delivering a series of screaming, profanity-laced tirades on the phone to the Russian singer-songwriter who bore your child.

Jul 23, 2010

5 Classic Movie Moments That Werent in the Script

Jul 22, 2010

"Firefly" Rewind - Episode 6: "Our Miss Reynolds"

Jul 16, 2010

American Secrets Discovered by the Russian Spies

No, even they don't understand why Two and a Half Men is so popular.

Jul 15, 2010

Joss Whedon: His Best TV Episodes Ever

Jul 14, 2010

A Boss Made for the Big City

The New Next Steven Spielberg

Jul 13, 2010

The Fletch-Caddyshack Comedy Axis

Jul 9, 2010

Signs That Parents Are Getting Fed Up With Parenting

Stupid perpetuation of the species!

Jul 7, 2010

Louis C.K. on the Importance of Acting Like an Asshole

Nighthawks State of Mind

Jul 6, 2010

Why Do Dads Lie on Surveys About Fatherhood?

Jul 2, 2010

Reasons the Founding Fathers Hate Our Stupid Guts

And this after we've spent all these years celebrating their accomplishments by eating hot dogs and blowing stuff up.

Jun 30, 2010

The Surprising Toll of Sleep Deprivation

Sixty Years in Dodgers' Booth, and Scully Is Still in Awe

Jun 25, 2010

New Slogans for BP

Because if there's one thing slicker than oil, it's good spin doctoring.

Toilets: A simple solution to world health issues

Jun 24, 2010

Time To Start Believing, U.S. Fans

Jun 23, 2010

Yankees' Long-Forgotten Mascot

Jun 22, 2010

"Somewhere a Dog Barked"

Copyright: The Elephant in the Middle of the Glee Club

Jun 21, 2010

American Idiot

Jun 18, 2010

Other Uses for the Vuvuzela

Why should soccer fans be the only ones to enjoy teeth-grinding aggravation and temporary hearing loss?

Stay on target

Jun 17, 2010

The Day Moneyball Died

Jun 16, 2010

5 Reasons Your Mom Wants an iPad

Jun 11, 2010

Real Reasons the ESPN Zone Restaurant Chain Failed

They flew too close to the sun on wings of buffalo.

NCAA hits USC with severe penalties

Jun 10, 2010

"Last Comic Standing" - Los Angeles Auditions

"Friday Night Lights:" An Emmy-Worthy Episode

Unknown Senate Candidate in SC Faces Felony Charge

Jun 8, 2010

Bill Hicks: the man who said the unsayable

How Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Is Crowdsourcing Done Right

Jun 7, 2010

Does the Internet Make You Smarter?

Does the Internet Make You Dumber?

Jun 4, 2010

Surprises Found in Mark Twain's Forthcoming Autobiography

Why couldn't Miley Cyrus have waited 100 years to publish her autobiography?

Why Obama Should Put BP Under Temporary Receivership

A Review of Sex and the City 2 by Someone Who Doesn't Know Anything About It

Jun 3, 2010

Armando Galarraga And Jim Joyce: Victims Of Baseball's Imperfections

Jun 2, 2010

Angry Boss

To the Cult I Inadvertently Started Last Night

Jun 1, 2010

Monkey Business

May 28, 2010

Ways to Fill the Void During the Summer TV Hiatus

Which is not to be confused with Ways to Kill the Noid Using a Plumber's PVC Apparatus.

Entertainment A-List No. 9: Lorne Michaels

May 26, 2010

From Big Leagues, Hints at Sibling Behavior

Interleague play unnecessarily tips the scales in the pennant races

May 25, 2010

A.V. Club Interview: Will Forte

What the Supreme Court's antitrust ruling means to the NFL

May 21, 2010

Surprises Found in the Final Episode of Lost

Come on, why would they give us anything other than more of the lucid, straightforward, plain-spoken storytelling we've come to enjoy over the years?

Kevin Costner donates 'Ocean Therapy' invention to clean up BP oil spill

Talking Shit

May 20, 2010

CBS Is Trying To Kill "Community"

May 19, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2009

From Somali pirates to the new Star Trek movie to Obama's first 100 days in office (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Willie Banks: Returning to baseball saved my life

May 17, 2010

Lowe-Down on Parks & Rec – Suits Wanted Eye Candy

Tuned In: Parks and Recreation

May 14, 2010

Lesser-Known Features of the New NASCAR Hall of Fame

Celebrating 62 years of ancillary carbon monoxide poisoning!

Do 'Family Values' Weaken Families?

May 11, 2010

Tax the Hell Out of Wall Street and Give it to Main Street

Get Rid of Internet Memes

May 7, 2010

Other Ways BP Plans to Make Up for the Gulf Oil Spill

You just know the make-up sex is going to be really, really good.

After dark, the dirty work at Disneyland begins

Toy Story 3 director Unkrich earns spotlight

May 6, 2010

If I Didn't Want It, I Wouldn't Have Let "You" Take The Car

Statues Honor Minnesota Twins Greats

May 5, 2010

Can Your Baby Wield a Machete?

May 4, 2010

If the TSA Were Running New York

Leno at the White House Correspondents' Dinner: He's No Obama

Disney Uses Cliffhanger to Market Toy Story 3

Apr 30, 2010

Rejected Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavors

Maybe they'd be good enough for those jerks over at Hagen-Dazs.

A Story We Somehow Knew Was Coming (TSA Dept)

Apr 29, 2010

Employees Fired For Pursuing Alleged Shoplifter

Apr 28, 2010

Private, First Class

Apr 27, 2010

The Betty White Meme: When The Internet Stopped Making Sense

Apr 23, 2010

Additional Problems Caused by Having Too Much Sodium in Your Diet

As it you didn't already have your hands full dealing with the side effects from your Savella.

Apr 20, 2010

Successes (and Some Growing Pains) at Hulu

Apr 19, 2010

What Do TV Directors Do?

Apr 16, 2010

Things That John Paul Stevens Will Miss About Being a Supreme Court Justice

Sure, there's the job security, the power, the prestige... but what about the really important stuff?

Apr 15, 2010

What David Foster Wallace Circled in His Dictionary

Why Conan's TBS Announcement Left Team Coco Feeling Vaguely Unsatisfied

Apr 14, 2010

If They Build It, You Will Pay

Apr 13, 2010

Twins New Playground a Minnesota State Fair

a mote of dust

Apr 12, 2010

How Good Was the Springfield Power Plant Team?

Apr 9, 2010

Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Doctor Say

You're gonna want to start stocking up on apples.

Apr 8, 2010

Expansion of NCAA Tournament to 96 Teams Assures Butler Will Be Big Dance's Final Cinderella

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

Apr 6, 2010

Holland Taylor: A Class Act's Next Tough Dame

Apr 2, 2010

Signs That the Pittsburgh Pirates and Their Fans Have Given Up Hope

Celebrating nearly 20 years of making the Kansas City Royals and their fans feel better about themselves.

Instant Relics

Mar 31, 2010

All Aboard the Butler Bandwagon

Mar 30, 2010

I penned the suckiest movie ever - sorry!

Mar 26, 2010

Additional Gaffes Made by Joe Biden

He who gaffes last, gaffes best.

David Mamet's Master Class Memo to the Writers of The Unit

Mar 25, 2010

Fast Food That Won the West

Last Supper Helpings Have Grown

Mar 24, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2009

From March Madness to unwanted Barbie dolls to Christian Bale's profane tirade (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Making bureaucracy work: How NBC's Parks and Recreation overcame bad buzz

10 Stars Who Started on Sesame Street

Mar 23, 2010

Joshua Malina talks 'Backwash'

Conan O'Brien: Coming soon to daytime TV?

Mar 19, 2010

Moral Imperatives That Didn't Make the Cut for the Ten Commandments

And you thought it was hard enough just trying to live up to the existing ones.

The Movie Studios' Big 3D Scam

Mar 18, 2010

Stages of NCAA Tourney Bracket Grief

In Teen Music Choices, Anxiety Rules

Mar 17, 2010

Can You Alter Your Memory?

Mar 16, 2010

Hollywood Has Reached a New Low (And It Is Awesome)

Categories for the Meta Awards

Mar 12, 2010

Lesser-Known St. Patrick's Day Traditions

You might find them preferable to screaming "Erin Go Bragh!" for five hours with a shirtless guy named Sully.

Movie Draft: Second Thought

If you thought you'd seen everything Woody Harrelson would do with a dead person, you were wrong.

Mar 11, 2010

Movie Draft: Rule #3

Imagine Ocean's 12 meets Son of Oklahoma, only way shittier.

The Shusher and the Shushed: Why It Matters When You Talk During Movies

Mar 10, 2010

Movie Draft: Once Upon a Time

Moviegoers who see Once Upon a Time are not likely to live happily ever after.

Were These the Most Boring Oscars Ever? We Have Mathematical Proof

Mar 9, 2010

Movie Draft: If You Knew Suzie...

Meryl Streep and Morgan Freeman... how can you possibly go wrong?

Mar 8, 2010

Movie Draft: Man From Nowhere

The first of five reviews of the films from the 2010 Movie Draft gives us Christopher Plummer and Stanley Tucci fighting over railroads and Penelope Cruz's heart.

We the Problem

The Offices Jenna Fischer on Tonights Baby Episode, and Why Pam Misses Her Old Desk

Mar 5, 2010

Other Ways the U.S. Postal Service Plans to Cut Costs

Looks like we gave up a little too quickly on that whole Pony Express idea, huh?

Popcorn: Cinema's Worst Enemy

Mar 4, 2010

Thabeet Seeks Boost From D-League Stay

Mar 2, 2010

Cats vs. Dogs

Printing body parts

Feb 26, 2010

New Slogans for ESPN

Honestly, they were just grabbing a gummi Venus de Milo that got stuck to that girl's pants!

John Ratzenberger: Pixar perfect

Has Disney Gone Mad?

Feb 25, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Director

After this comes the big dog: Marmaduke! No, I mean... Best Picture!

Crystal Mangum's Return to Court

Feb 24, 2010

Building a Better Broadcast

Feb 23, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Actor

Just two more to go after this one: Best Director and Best Picture. I don't know about you... but I'm going to miss the Snubbies when they're gone.

Terrorism Derangement Syndrome

Feb 22, 2010

A Wild Conversation with Tracy Morgan

Feb 19, 2010

Rejected Winter Olympics Events

Not surprising coming from the people that shot down Skijring back in 1928.

Ricky Gervais Reveals All About Office Babies Spin-Off: "It's Definitely Happening"

The 5 Worst Decisions Ever Made by TV Executives (Twice)

Feb 18, 2010

Beware: Here Comes an 'Inglourious' Upset at the Oscars

Dowdy Image Swept Away as Curling Celebrates the Rock of All Ages

Feb 16, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Supporting Actress

The Oscars may not be able to get it right, but by God, we will. Join us all week for the Snubbies!

The Olympics Sap-o-Meter

How does Facebook make overt self obsession OK?

Feb 15, 2010

Did I Get Married Too Young?

Feb 12, 2010

Other Things Sarah Palin Has Written on Her Hand

Still, a note on her hand beats two on George Bush.

A Calculus of Writing, Applied to a Classic

Feb 11, 2010

Obama's "Stupid" Jab at Vegas

Feb 10, 2010

Oscar Duel: Is Quentin Tarantino a Great Director?

Feb 8, 2010

Claire Danes Does Her Homework for HBO's Temple Grandin

The Replacements, Still Replaced in Video Games

Wrong

Feb 5, 2010

Other Problems Found in Toyota Vehicles

Did we learn nothing from the classic 1986 Michael Keaton comedy Gung Ho?

Crash Blossoms

Feb 2, 2010

Groundhog Day

Feb 1, 2010

The Great American Soap Overdose

Jim Gaffigan Talks Domino's, Law & Order, and Having the Gall to Accept Serious Acting Roles

Jan 29, 2010

Signs That You're a Little Too Obsessed with Apple and Steve Jobs

There is definitely such a thing as too much of a good thing.

How Movies Activate Your Neural G-Spot

Jan 28, 2010

The Chin Abides

Jan 27, 2010

The End Is Near

The Fall of Harrison Ford

Jan 26, 2010

On the Jury, Gene Weingarten Didn't Believe the D.C. Police's Eyes

Obama's Get Goldman Plan

Jan 25, 2010

Why The Office Clip Show Was So Jarring

Norma Rae

Jan 22, 2010

Mistakes Made by Martha Coakley in the Massachusetts Senate Campaign

You can't spell "Democratic Party" without "tired crap."

A Row to Myself

Jan 21, 2010

Secret Rituals of "American Idol" Exposed

O'Brien Flops

Jan 20, 2010

Out of the Picture

SportsCenter

How Team Coco Channels Our Great Recession Anger

Jan 19, 2010

Is Gawker's "Apple Tablet Scavenger Hunt" illegal? Probably.

Jan 15, 2010

Other Rejected Solutions to NBC's Late Night Problem

Which was caused by the solution to their prime time problem, which was caused by the original solution to their late night problem. Proud as a Peacock, indeed!

Walk Away From Your Mortgage!

Jan 14, 2010

Mr. Smith Rewrites the Constitution

Jan 13, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2008-January 2009

From Rod Blagojevich to unpopular holiday stories to the auto bailout (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

There's No Telling What Will Come Out of Ricky Gervais' Mouth

Jan 12, 2010

Conan Calls It Quits

Advice For Conan From The Late Shift

Jan 11, 2010

Now New Orleans is His Focus

Jan 8, 2010

Memorable Moments from 2009 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to make a bunch of shit up.

The Naked Truth About Airport Scanners

Jan 7, 2010

The (Too) Many Loves of Warren Beatty

Jan 6, 2010

How Is Wind Chill Calculated? (Plus 9 More Wind Chill FAQs)

Jan 5, 2010

Avatar vs. Up in the Air: The Most Symbolic Oscar Race Since Forrest Gump vs. Pulp Fiction

Best & Worst Case Scenarios of Every NFC Playoff Team

Jan 4, 2010

Boy Wonder

Should We Just Boycott the Movies in January?

Jan 1, 2010

Is aviation security mostly for show?

Dec 30, 2009

Steve Martin is a Wild and Busy Guy

Sport's First Gay Superstar

Dec 29, 2009

The Odds of Airborne Terror

The Physics of Space Battles

Dec 28, 2009

Having a Healthy Midlife Crisis

Dec 25, 2009

Least Popular Christmas Carols

Good luck going a-wassailing with these.

Dec 24, 2009

A Visit From St. Nicholas

Dec 23, 2009

Excerpts From My Mother's Editorial Notes On My Letters To Santa, 1987-2000

After Further Review

Dec 22, 2009

The Top Ten Stories of the Last 4.5 Billion Years

Keep the Meme Alive

Dec 21, 2009

"Dexter" Exclusive: Michael C. Hall Talks About Season 4's Killer Finale

Dec 20, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 15

Just the picks. Very busy.

Dec 18, 2009

Surprises Found in the New Avatar Movie

Who knew that a film set 150 years in the future on a fictional planet located several light years away from Earth would have surprises?

Seriously Funny People

Pixar guru John Lasseter makes his presence felt on Disney toy aisles

Dec 17, 2009

Never Listen To Celine? Radio Meter Begs To Differ

The Top Five Beer Towns In the U.S.

Dec 16, 2009

The Best Walking Partner: Man vs. Dog

Sitcom of the Year: Parks and Recreation

Dec 14, 2009

Why You Can't Stop Gay Marriage and Marijuana

Dec 11, 2009

Things That Might Be in Your Drinking Water

Waterworld was right: we're just a couple years away from needing to filter and drink our own urine here, people.

Baseball's War Against Hamburgers

Dec 10, 2009

Time Machine: Vikings vs. Bengals, December 25, 1989

Chaos In Tigerland: A Deadspin Investigation Into The Sexual Habits Of Pro Athletes

Dec 9, 2009

Colbert, Fey, and Carell: Comedy's Power Players

League of Nations

Dec 7, 2009

How Dangerous Is It to Read on the Toilet?

Dec 6, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 13

Well, it's not really a proper picks column, per se, but I wanted to make sure to get my picks in for the record, at least.

Dec 4, 2009

Additional Accusations Being Made Against Tiger Woods

Looks like somebody's sliced one deep into the rough.

Bust Up Big League Sports

The "Palinization" of Palin

Against Camel Case

Dec 3, 2009

Making Marriage Last: Right Activist Seeks To Ban Calif. Divorce

Dec 2, 2009

That Couple

The Singularity Is Near

Dec 1, 2009

L.A. Clippers Announcers Meet With Iranian Player They "Insulted"

Nov 30, 2009

"(Best) Film Ever!!!"

Nov 27, 2009

Other Toys Listed on the "Trouble in Toyland" Report

Santa's not the only one that knows who's been naughty.

NFL 2009, Week 12 - Part Two

I need a good week. I'm only one game above .500.

Nov 26, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 12 - Part One

A quick picks column for the three Thanksgiving Day games.

The Art of Holiday Food.

Nov 25, 2009

Covering Teen Wolf: One Coach's Guide

Yes, She Can: Palin Has a Shot at the Presidency

Nov 24, 2009

Has Bell Invented a "Telegraph Killer"?

The Greatest Generation (of Networkers)

Nov 23, 2009

Bill Simmons, Establishment

When Mr. Clean Meets Ms. Messy

The Lessons of the Cy Young Awards

Nov 20, 2009

Surprises Found in the New Sarah Palin Memoir

Looks like someone's "going rogue" on herself.

'I'm going to tell my son the worst swearword in the world'

Nov 19, 2009

You Can Cut Back on Alcohol

Nov 18, 2009

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2008

From the presidential election to the explosion of the iPhone to the futility of the Detroit Lions (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

9 Tasty Foods Named After People

Nov 17, 2009

The Death Of Mistakes Means The Death Of Rock

Nov 16, 2009

Did Bill Belichick Make Correct Decision?

In Memory of David Lloyd

Nov 13, 2009

Hulk Hogan Complaints About Returning to Wrestling at Age 56

Remember kids: say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and for the love of all that is holy, will you please turn down that music?!?

Penalty! Unnecessary Blandness!

How to Avoid the Exhausting Planning and Preparation That Goes into Making a Second Date

Nov 10, 2009

Food Ads Make You Fat – Even If You Don't Buy the Food

The Truth About Lying

Too Much Beef

Nov 9, 2009

Up Director Pete Doctor on His Next Project and Why Pixar Movies Always End With Chase Scenes

Will E.T. Look Like Us?

Nov 6, 2009

Ways That Nicolas Cage Wasted Hundreds of Millions of Dollars

Oh, like you've never spent outrageous sums of money to buy multiple European castles.

NFL 2009, Week 9

Bad week last week. Good week this week? One week, two week, red week, blue week! (Sorry; I haven't been getting much sleep...)

I hope I get swine flu.

Nov 5, 2009

Tina Fey's 10 Favorite 30 Rock Moments

An SNL Digital Short

Nov 4, 2009

Pitching in New York: Not for Sissies

Awkward Suggestions

Nov 3, 2009

Collecting Headlines Funnier Than This

Nov 2, 2009

Why is Pedro Martinez Smiling?

Oct 31, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 8

Happy Halloween, everyone, and Happy Week 8 of the NFL Season!

Oct 30, 2009

Least Popular Halloween Costumes for 2009

I mean, come on, if you're not going to dress up as the late Ray Walston, what's the point?

Fans Tell of Boos and Blues

Ricky Gervais: Perfectly crazy choice to host Golden Globes

Oct 29, 2009

Let Us Now Praise... the Clich

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

Oct 28, 2009

Peter Berg and Kyle Chandler on the Restructuring of "Friday Night Lights"

Freaked Out Over "SuperFreakonomics"

Letterman and Me

Oct 27, 2009

The Anatomy of Determination

Oct 26, 2009

What's Behind All the NFL Blowouts

Oct 23, 2009

Balloon Boy Family Excuses

Hey, since when is deliberately misleading and using the media for your own gain considered to be anything other than a fine American tradition?

NFL 2009, Week 7

Man, I thought of such a witty, insightful blurb for this space, but now I can't for the life of me remember what it was.

The Collider, the Particle, and a Theory About Fate

Oct 22, 2009

BCS Intelligence

Oct 21, 2009

Usain Bolt Would Have Been Outrun By Our Ancestors, Claims Anthropologist

Oct 20, 2009

Wall Street Smarts

5 Reasons It Sucks Being a Joss Whedon Fan

Oct 16, 2009

Reasons Why the Math Scores of U.S. Schoolchildren Are Failing to Improve

Won't somebody please think of the children!

Monty Python Documentary Is Comedy Catnip

Petulance and the Prize

Oct 15, 2009

What Torture Never Told Us

1-800-Political-Venom

Oct 14, 2009

There's No Place Like Home

Oct 12, 2009

Obama Becomes Japan's English Teacher

Know Your Coens: A Serious Quiz

Oct 9, 2009

Titles For a Fourth Jason Bourne Movie That Will Keep the Franchise in Alphabetical Order

Because nobody wants to be like those philistines who run the Batman movies.

NFL 2009, Week 5

In which the handsomeness of AFC East quarterbacks does not go unremarked upon.

Oct 8, 2009

My Conversations With a Gay Pro Athlete

Writing the Book On the "F" Word

Taking the Pill For Past 40 Years "Has Put Women Off Masculine Men"

Oct 7, 2009

Twins, Tigers Save the Best for Last

Oct 6, 2009

In Beep Ball, Umpires Aren't Blind, But the Players Are

Oct 5, 2009

The Metrodome: A Thin Line Between Love and Hate

A New Style of Sports Films

Oct 2, 2009

Other Reasons Americans Are So Distracted While Driving

Probably because they're trying to come up with clever little blurbs for the snarky joke lists on their podunk website.

NFL 2009, Week 4

10-6 last week... let's keep it up. Let's creep steadily toward non-mediocrity.

Letterman admits affairs after report of blackmail

Where The Buffalo Roamed

Oct 1, 2009

The BCS: Asleep At the Switch

Lakeview Terrace

Sep 30, 2009

Woody Harrelson: The Anti-Antihero

Community: Chevy Chase Is on Fire

Scenic Routes: Barton Fink

Sep 29, 2009

Why We Should All Be Scared Now That Facebook Has Gaydar

Sep 28, 2009

Vikings Get Their First Good Taste of Brett Favre's Legend

Sep 25, 2009

Additional Ernie Anastos Catchphrases

May we all keep fucking that chicken.

NFL 2009, Week 3

Hope you like limericks. This week, it's nothing but limericks.

Sep 24, 2009

From carry-on to eBay: The journey of airport security booty

Sep 23, 2009

Pimp My Bed: The Male Sleep Lair

Chevy Chase on Community

Sep 22, 2009

Box office boffo for brainiacs: The Netflix Prize

Ricky Gervais' honest 'invention'

Sep 21, 2009

Why Patrick Swayze Was the Second Best Movie Star Ever

The Trouble with Tim Tebow

Sep 18, 2009

Other Interjections Kanye West Can No Longer Keep to Himself

Free your mind, and your mouth will follow.

Sep 17, 2009

Bill Hicks's Principles Of Comedy

Ernie Harwell's Farewell Comes Amid Tears, Cheers Of Fans

Sep 16, 2009

The Not Ready for Primetime Player

When a Parent's "I Love You" Means "Do As I Say"

Sep 15, 2009

Shane Acker stretches animation with  9

Why I Don't Assign Homework

Sep 11, 2009

Surprises Planned for the New Season of Survivor

Besides the surprise that there's yet another season of Survivor.

NBC putting Leno in awkward spot

Sep 10, 2009

Writing Is Easy!

Sep 9, 2009

Stephen Colbert on Deconstructing the News, Religion, and the Colbert Nation

The Myth of the Overscheduled Child

Sep 4, 2009

Other Things the Airlines Will Soon Be Charging You For

Because they love to fly, and it shows.

Masters of the Wikiverse

The Beatles: Rock Band Easter Eggs

Sep 3, 2009

A Long Wait Stirs Enthusiasm For Fox Show "Glee"

The Sports World Without the Internet?

Sep 2, 2009

The Quick 10: 10 Secret Menu Items

After Years at Work, Jason Bateman Proves He Belongs

What's a High Ankle Sprain?

Sep 1, 2009

Paul is dead

A Grand Bargain Over Evolution

Aug 31, 2009

Whatever Happened to Nomar Garciaparra?

6 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets from Cheers

Aug 28, 2009

Signs That You're Getting a Little Too Paranoid About Swine Flu

And just when you were starting to get over your SARS mania.

The Best Television Shows of the 2008-2009 Season

In which all four of our Ten Best lists are factored in, and we tell you, once and for all, what the best shows really are.

Cormac McCarthy's Mr. Belvedere

Aug 26, 2009

Ted Kennedy: What I've Learned

Aug 25, 2009

Status-Quo Anxiety

Selected Scenes from Trauma Clinic: HMO

Aug 24, 2009

Mariners' Suzuki on a First-Name Basis With Records

Mila Kunis is Funny, Fearless, and a Total Babe

Aug 21, 2009

Additional Perks the Vikings Used to Lure Brett Favre Out of Retirement

You know, besides the prestige that comes with joining an organization that has lost four Super Bowls.

What Happened to Comedy?

A Modest Proposal for Improving Football

The Daily Death

Aug 20, 2009

Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds Is About What Could Have Happened

Favre Impresses Receivers With Zip On Passes

Yale Surrenders

Aug 19, 2009

I Couldn't Be More Excited About Brett Favre

Some fellow Vikings fans aren't as excited as I am about Brett Favre coming to town. I try to explain to them why they're wrong.

Baryshnikov in Baseball Cleats

Favre Officially Vilified In Green Bay

Aug 18, 2009

Christina Hendricks Isn't All That Fussy

Aug 17, 2009

Nats Make Pitch To Strasburg, and It's Time To Swing a Deal

Yang Gives Galleries Heart, Bit of History

Heaven's Database

Aug 14, 2009

Other Ways the Chevy Volt Will Improve Your Life

Unlike that leech on society, the Ford Escape. Get a job, you hippie!

That Amy Adams Touch

Shape Matters

How is America going to end?

Aug 13, 2009

The Forgotten

Face Of the NFL Is Gone: An Ode To the Single-Bar

The Whole Foods Alternative To ObamaCare

Restating the Case For Human Uniqueness

Aug 12, 2009

Look What the Dog Swallowed!

Aug 11, 2009

The Iron Giant, A Decade Later

FX likes Louis C.K.

Aug 10, 2009

John Hughes

Aug 7, 2009

Real Reasons Paula Abdul Left American Idol

She needs a reason?

Jay Leno Show format revealed

Aug 6, 2009

Louis CK Is the Best Stand-Up Comic of His Generation

If Barack Obama is Spock, Sarah Palin is Kirk

Legalized Sports Betting is Inevitable

Aug 5, 2009

A Show Within a Show

A Last Word on the Beer Summit

Aug 4, 2009

Paramount Pictures waves the flag for G.I. Joe

Aug 3, 2009

Held Hostage in North Korea

Top 10 Bizarre Restaurants

Jul 31, 2009

Other Ideas Considered to Resolve the Gates-Crowley Dispute

After all, it's not like the White House has better ways to be spending its time and resources.

A Beer with Obama

The New Unsafe Sex

A Man's Home Is His Constitutional Castle

Jul 30, 2009

Clara Turley's Bible Challenge

Jul 29, 2009

The "President" Has Some Explaining To Do

Other than the mountains of irrefutable evidence that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen, what evidence do we actually have that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen? One patriot dares to ask the tough questions...

Apatow on how to learn nothing from a near-death experience

Fix Your Terrible, Insecure Passwords in Five Minutes

Whatever Happened to My Girl's Anna Chlumsky?

Jul 28, 2009

Pandora's Back

Jul 27, 2009

Baseball's Haul of Fame

Jeff Daniels: Standing Next to the A-List

Jul 24, 2009

Recent Additions to the Congressional Health Care Bills

Your tax dollars hard at work!

Gluttons for Punishment Are Balm for ABC

Armando Iannucci

Katherine Heigl is not going to let you see her breasts, ever

Jul 23, 2009

Videogame Companies Move Onto Hollywood's Turf

CBS Censors a Racist Rant

Jul 22, 2009

When It's Time to Walk Away

Summer's Hottest Notes Placed in Illegally Parked Cars

Jul 21, 2009

One small step for clarity

Restoring lustre to prestige titles

First Person: Frank Ahearn

Jul 20, 2009

In a Moment, Belief Disappeared For Watson and His Fans

Jul 17, 2009

Rejected Harry Potter Book Titles

Sometimes the road to success includes a few wrong turns.

Some thoughts on the anthology

Hands or Paws or Anything They Got

Jul 16, 2009

As American As... Cricket

Jul 14, 2009

Michael and Michael Have Issues With The State

The Glorious Third

Jul 13, 2009

Sanchez's Dad, Righetti Savor No-Hitter

Jul 10, 2009

Ways That Al Franken Can Make Up For Lost Time

Preferably without resorting to using a DeLorean modified by an eccentric scientist to travel back to a period several years before he was born.

Essential Life Lesson #1: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

The Eternal Flush

Jul 9, 2009

7(ish) Things I've Always Wondered About Back to the Future

Smooth, Segway

Good Enough, Smart Enough: Why Al Franken Will Be a Superlative Senator

Jul 8, 2009

Explaining All the Injuries

What It Feels Like... to Be Mauled by a Lion

Jul 7, 2009

Giving up my iPod for a Walkman

Best Weekend Never

Jul 6, 2009

Federer, Woods Are Two-of-a-Kind In Best-Ever Debate

California Dreamers

Death By Cheese and the Dreaded Ruptured Stomach

Jul 3, 2009

New Slogans for Mississippi, the Fattest State in the U.S.

Or: How Mississippi Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cankle.

Knives Out for Michael Mann

Jul 1, 2009

Non-Essential Mnemonics

Jun 30, 2009

10 friggin' nominees

Just a Quick E-mail

The Whipmaster

Jun 29, 2009

Let's Burst the Bubble

Jun 26, 2009

Other Proposed Changes to the 2010 Oscars

That is, besides just making it longer and more self-congratulatory.

The Tragic End of Michael Jackson

Spinal Tap isn't tapped out yet

$1 Million Netflix Prize So Close, They Can Taste It

Jun 25, 2009

Sanford Thinks Adultery is Wrong (If Clinton Does It)

Heartless: The Disturbing Glee at Mark Sanford's Downfall

Jun 24, 2009

Interview with Professor Michael Showalter, Part One

Get a Life, Holden Caulfield

Jun 22, 2009

Pursuit of Grand Slam Mark Not the Same For Roger Federer Without Rafael Nadal

Jun 19, 2009

Other Things Sarah Palin Is Now Demanding an Apology For

Up to, but not yet including, this list.

Land of Lost Movies

Videogames and the Impossibility of Escape from Planet Earth

Jun 17, 2009

Tina Fey: Let's Face It, She Rocks

Tom Brokaw Pre-Tapes

Why Nice Guys Should Finish First – But Don't

Jun 16, 2009

How to Approach the Sensitive Question: Anal?

Palin Can't Outsmart Letterman

Jun 15, 2009

Norm Macdonald Talks Stand-Up, Teases FX "Reality" Show

Jun 12, 2009

Rejected Jeopardy! Categories

Yet somehow "Potent Potables" still gets a free pass.

With Apologies to the Palins

David Letterman isn't the only one who has some explaining to do.

Did David Letterman Get a Free Pass?

Orphaned Tweets

Jun 11, 2009

Achtung, Baby!

The Early Jobs of 13 Political Icons

Can Right-Wing Hate Talk Lead To Murder?

Why 2009 Is Shaping Up As the Year of No Stars

Jun 10, 2009

30 Rock Is a Rip-Off of The Muppet Show!

Steve Martin and His Passion, The Banjo

A Note From Stephen Colbert

Jun 9, 2009

The Costliest Ten-Dollar Cat in Texas

Jun 8, 2009

Sly Stallone Pudding & 7 More Unique Celebrity Products

Jun 5, 2009

Less Prestigious 300 Clubs

Sometimes membership does not have its privileges.

Why GM failed

Easy Solutions #1

Jun 4, 2009

Viewing a TV Death In Four Acts

Jun 3, 2009

Randy, the Babe Ruth of Beanballs

Jun 2, 2009

The Birth of "God kills a kitten"

Jun 1, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part II

Let's finish what we started, shall we?

May 29, 2009

Additional Details About Dos Equis's Most Interesting Man in the World

He's far more fascinating than Heineken's Most Drunkenly Incapacitated Dude in a Wendy's.

The Coming Superbrain

May 28, 2009

Conan's "Tonight Show"

27 Observations About the Goddamn KFC Line I'm In

May 26, 2009

The Most Interesting Man in the World

May 25, 2009

Another Side of Kerouac: The Dharma Bum as Sports Nut

May 22, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part I

Jesse "The Body" Ventura over real gubernatorial candidates, "American Idol's" Kris Allen over everyone else, VHS over Beta, and more...

Least Popular Home Repair Books

Sometimes doing it yourself is best left to other people.

Carlos Mencia's Twitter: 25 Posts Too Unfunny To Be Stolen

High Times

May 21, 2009

Question: Who's the Longest-Running Fictional Character Ever?

Obama Loses His "Cool"

May 19, 2009

The Next Dimension: Does 3D Really Work?

May 18, 2009

Does Bringing Back "Chuck" Mean A New Network Model?

Twins Built on High-Character Players

May 15, 2009

Additional Cheerios Claims That Were Shot Down By the FDA

Hey, you can't blame a multi-billion-dollar corporation for trying.

May 14, 2009

Katz and Dogs

May 13, 2009

Moneyball the Movie: Ex-Players, Coaches Taking a Hack at Acting

May 12, 2009

Home Is Still Where My Eyes Are

May 8, 2009

Surprises Found in the New Star Trek Movie

Because if there's one thing rabid fan bases love, it's unexpected changes to their beloved franchise.

The Man Who Fell to Moon

Regarding The Jonas Brothers

May 7, 2009

Judd Apatow on Ghostbusters Rumors, Dinner with Diddy, and the Joke He Cut from Year One

Do NBA Players Try Harder In the Playoffs?

May 6, 2009

No Tipping, Please

Can Chevy Chase Save NBC?

May 5, 2009

If I Ever Create a Doomsday Machine, I'd Like it to Have the Following Features

Justice Cincinnatus

May 4, 2009

OK, Remaining Favre Fans: Now Can We Talk?

May 1, 2009

Less Publicized Accomplishments From Obama's First 100 Days in Office

If an accomplishment happens in the forest and no one is around to witness it, does Obama still get credit for it?

Writing for Nonreaders in the Postprint Era

A Brief History of the 'F' Word

Apr 30, 2009

Justice Stevens Renders An Opinion On Who Wrote Shakespeare's Plays

Car Wreck

Apr 29, 2009

David Wain: "I'm Going to Battle Centurions in Central Park"

Apr 28, 2009

Computer Program To Take On "Jeopardy!"

Apr 27, 2009

Michael McKean Explains Spinal Tap Songs

Generation Me

Apr 24, 2009

Other Controversial, Inappropriate, or Otherwise Odd Remarks Made By Miss USA Pageant Contestants

America's sweethearts say the darndest things.

Apr 23, 2009

The Sound of Musing

Can "Chuck" Be Saved? Even Josh Schwartz Isn't Sure

Apr 22, 2009

Where Fan Mail Goes to Get Answered

Don't Joe Morgan the Moneyball Movie

Apr 21, 2009

The State DVD is On!

Thoughts on Pot vs. Alcohol from a Former Police Chief

Apr 20, 2009

Starting with Logo, Lions on New Mission

The Hundredth Senator

Do You Think Bandwidth Grows On Trees?

Apr 17, 2009

Pros and Cons of Being a Somali Pirate

Apparently there's more to it than just pointing at things off the starboard bow and yelling "Avast, ye scurvy dogs!"

Apr 16, 2009

A Threat In Title IX

A Team That Chose Principles Over Gold Medals

Apr 15, 2009

For All His Oddities, Fidrych Was an Overgrown Kid Living the Dream

Apr 14, 2009

Our Lives, Controlled From Some Guy's Couch

Understanding Twitter

Apr 13, 2009

Olympian Political Correctness

Baseball's Judicial Branch

Apr 10, 2009

Other Celebrities Who Will Be Joining the Obama Administration

It's not exactly a collection of the best and the brightest.

The Weekly Log, 4/10/09

I whine about an obscure baseball urban legend and recommend a show on DVD.

How Deep the Rabbit Hole Goes

"Fast" Cash

Apr 9, 2009

KROQ Scores With "April Foolishness"

Wauaugh! – Howard the Duck, George Lucas' Best Movie About a Talking Duck, Finally Arrives on DVD

Technology's Gutterball – New Gear Makes Bowling Too Easy

Apr 8, 2009

Make It Blockbuster's Last Night

Apr 7, 2009

Unpopular

When Ninjas Meet Golf, God Save Tiger Woods

Apr 6, 2009

Why Legalizing Marijuana Makes Sense

Judah Friedlander Likes Hats

Ten Surprisingly Common Causes of Death In TV Hospitals

Apr 3, 2009

Andy Rooney Commentaries That Were Rejected By 60 Minutes

It's a fine line between cranky old humorist and becoming a real-life version of Grandpa Simpson.

The Weekly Log, 4/3/09

Thoughts on NASCAR (sort of), "Castle" (watch it), and Uncle Ned Packers Fan (I'll explain...)

Story Bored

Apr 2, 2009

Is Chicago's Star Falling?

Apr 1, 2009

The Nude House of Wacky People

Poehler's Opposites

Mar 31, 2009

What Happened to the Perry Bible Fellowship?

Nice Move, Mr. Bond, but How's Your Parking?

Mar 30, 2009

The Rise of the Likable Jerk

7 Ridiculous Products Licensed by Major League Baseball

Mar 27, 2009

New NBC Slogans

Is "meh" a slogan, or more of a corporate statement of purpose?

The Weekly Log, 3/27/09

A sports team with stupid uniforms finally suffers real consequences; plus, trifling thoughts on "American Idol" and "Dollhouse."

Your Hair is Different

Robert Downey, Jr.

Mar 25, 2009

What Your Favorite Movies Were Almost Called

Script Notes From the VP of Programming Following the Inevitable Purchase of the Spice Network By GE/NBC Universal

Missing the Man Who Made Nicolas Cage a Star

Mar 24, 2009

Oh, Mother!

Listening to Boredom

Mar 23, 2009

I Love You, Man

You Don't Need Stats to Know Greatness. Meryl Taught Me That.

Mar 20, 2009

Signs That You May Be Suffering From March Madness

Self-diagnosis in 25 easy steps. Remember, doctors say early detection is the key.

Mar 19, 2009

Too Many Kiddie Cooks Spoil the Broth

For Sale: The $100 House

Mar 18, 2009

My 2009 Bracket, Part Two

In which you find out who I pick to win it all. And I know the suspense has been killing you.

Mar 17, 2009

The Hot Seat: Jason Segel

Mock Web sites stretch TV gags

Growing Sentences with David Foster Wallace

Mar 16, 2009

Paul Rudd: Everybody's Buddy

"Watchmen" vs. "Incredibles": No Contest

Watching Stewart-v-Cramer With Wall Streeters and Working Folks

The Brokest Generation

Mar 13, 2009

Chien-Ming Wang Headlines That Less Mature Sports Editors Could Try to Run During Spring Training 2009

Levels of sexual innuendo not seen since the heyday of Minnesota Twins outfielder Randy Bush.

Mar 12, 2009

Honkballing Dutch Deliver KO Blow For the Ages

Mar 11, 2009

5 Failed McDonald's Menu Items

What Tim Geithner Can Learn From Baseball

Life After Gilmore Girls: Egg Salad, Adelaide, and All

Mar 10, 2009

Boy Toy

Some Post-Oscar Thoughts on Forecasting

Mar 9, 2009

Getting the Ax – It's Awesome

Mar 6, 2009

Least Popular Versions of the Barbie Doll

Let's just say that mistakes were made.

The Weekly Log, 3/6/09

To welcome my second daughter into the world I've got some parenting tips; and for no reason in particular I've got a slight bone to pick with the movie In Bruges.

Ye Olde Social Network

Mar 5, 2009

The Internet Is Changing the Game For Celebrities

Mar 4, 2009

The Year NBA Teams Quit Early

Where the Neon Lights Are Bright - And Drivers Are No Longer Welcome

Mar 3, 2009

"Did Babe Ruth Take Asteroids?"

A little kid's question at the Baseball Hall of Fame prompts a father to conclude that the job of the Hall of Fame voter is not the same as the job of a dad.

The Afterlife of Glamorous Things

Melting Pot of Melodrama Enthralls French Nightly

Mar 2, 2009

World War II Warning

A Skeptic's Take On the Public Misunderstanding of Darwin

What's a Hulu? The Origins of 8 High-Tech Names

Feb 27, 2009

Lesser-Known Provisions in the New Economic Stimulus Package

Clearly not all provisions are created equal.

Old Media Strikes Back

Feb 26, 2009

Roomba FAQ

Going Battier

Feb 25, 2009

The Mount Rushmores of the AL

The Mount Rushmores of the NL

Second Coming

Why the Music Industry Hates Guitar Hero

Feb 24, 2009

The End of a Particularly Funny and Interesting Era

I loved, loved, loved "The Adam Carolla Show." And now it's gone.

Taste Test: Thingamajig vs. Whatchamacallit

Money Made Him Do It

Five Bold Predictions For 2009

Feb 23, 2009

10 Worst Post-Oscar Career Choices

Feb 20, 2009

Better Ways to End Long Speeches at the Oscars

Because we'd like to free up time for more awkward, stilted banter between presenters.

Don't Worry About Conan

Feb 19, 2009

Movie Draft: Son of Oklahoma

The fourth of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft gives a taste of rural politics, steamy sexual intrigue, and family secrets with Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, and who else but Angelina Jolie?

Movie Draft: Out of Order

The third of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft showcases the comedic talents of Richard Jenkins, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt and Philip Seymour Hoffman, as Melissa Leo looks on (hey, somebody's got to play the straight man).

Welcome Back, Junior

Feb 18, 2009

Movie Draft: Americano

The second of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft finds Penlope Cruz, Anne Hathaway and Mickey Rourke in a thriller set in the hot, steamy jungles of Central and South America.

Movie Draft: Fly By Night

The first of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft brings us Robert Downey, Jr. on a quest for the truth about the 1969 moon landing.

Joss Whedon Goes Where No TV Man Has Gone Before

Curious Factoids Revealed by Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin Following An All-Night Presidents Day Pub Crawl

Feb 17, 2009

Oscar Predictions You Can Bet On!

The 4-Year-Old Appears on Deal or No Deal.

Feb 16, 2009

Thirty-Nine Questions for Charlie Daniels Upon Hearing "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" For the First Time in Twenty-Five Years

Feb 13, 2009

Additional Past Transgressions Alex Rodriguez Admitted to This Week

The truths finally come out.

Baseball Pitches Illustrated

You're Welcome America

Feb 12, 2009

Rubbing Him the Right Way

Feb 11, 2009

Job Opening for a Villainous Time-Traveling Sidekick

Understanding A-Rod

Reinvention draws near for Newsweek

How to Get Some on February 14th

Shirtless Bible Salesmen

Feb 10, 2009

Steve Martin On Being 'Born Standing Up'

Dont Be Like Jessica Simpson: A Lesson For Young Girls Everywhere

Feb 9, 2009

Alex Rodriguez, Fallen Hero?

Coca-Cola Classic to be "Classic" no more

Feb 6, 2009

Other Things That Will Set Off a Profanity-Laced Tirade From Christian Bale

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Rise of Citizen Dave

Indie Rocks 5 Most Overused Animal Names

Feb 5, 2009

8 Successful People Grateful They Got Canned

You're Trashing My Scene!

Jan 30, 2009

Other Revelations in Joe Torre's Upcoming Book The Yankee Years

Which is not to be confused with the best-selling male adolescent sex guide, The Yanking Years.

"The State" Reunion at SF Sketchfest

Professor Uses Mathematics to Decode Beatles Tunes

Jan 29, 2009

Steve Martin: Thinking "Pink"

Jan 28, 2009

Take Bacon. Add Sausage. Blog.

Basketball Teams That Wear Long Pants? They're Out There

Jan 27, 2009

You Got Served

What, Exactly, Is Slumdog Millionaire?

The Elements of Spam

A Wonderful Day for Washington, D.C.

Jan 26, 2009

Microsoft Oval Office

How Much Is a Best Picture Nomination Worth?

Jan 23, 2009

Possible Side Effects of Savella, the Newly-Approved Fibromyalgia Drug

Consult your doctor or pharmacist to learn whether these jokes may be right for you.

The Weekly Log - 1/23/09

Normally on Fridays in this space you get an NFL picks column out of me. Such a column is significantly more difficult to put together when there is no NFL football being played, so I debut a new Friday feature. I hope you like it.

Oscar Nomination Talking Points

Jan 22, 2009

Obama Takes Oath Again, Faithfully This Time

The Cardinal Curse

Ridesharing in the Future

Jan 21, 2009

25 Ailments That Can Be Cured By Having Sex

Why Hollywood Needs a New Model for Storytelling

Jan 20, 2009

"Supergraphics" Anger Tenants In L.A. Office Buildings

Jan 19, 2009

Crisis-Aversion Index Cards That Get Me Through a Normal Day

I Don't Want My Web TV

10 Questions We Hope Lost Answers This Season

Jan 16, 2009

Surprises Planned for the Obama Inauguration

It can't just be all swearing-in and speeches. It can't!

Obama Returns Night-Owl Presidency

My Tape Measure - An Appreciation

Jan 15, 2009

Rob Thomas and Company Get Ready to Party Down

The Minnesota Recount Was Unconstitutional

Hell to the Chief

Jan 14, 2009

Is Obama a Real Post-Partisan?

Homeland Security USA Reviewed

Jan 13, 2009

Ignorance is Not a Sportswriting Skill

They're Just Two Wild And Crazy Guys

Jan 12, 2009

The Best Show On TV

The title goes back to "30 Rock"... and, since all that needs to be said about that show's principals has been said already, we take a bit of a look at the episodes written by the man who's written most of the best ones.

Let Freedom Ring: Busting the Myth of the Salary Cap

Jan 9, 2009

Better Ways to Pick a College Football Champion

Anything's better than the system they have now. Am I right, ladies?

Gay-Tham for Statham

Jan 8, 2009

"Wherefore" does not mean where

Jan 7, 2009

No Wonder Don Larsen Was Perfect

When Life is Just a Bowl of Freebies

Jan 6, 2009

Pat Hingle Dies at 84

Jan 5, 2009

Bleeping Expletives

A Series of Letters to the First Girl I Ever Fingered

Jan 2, 2009

Better Uses for NBC's 10pm Time Slot Than Giving It to Jay Leno

Is it possible to burn a time slot? Or feed it to wolves?

11 Words That Sound Offensive, But Aren't

Dec 31, 2008

8 Strange & Different Restaurants

It Was 30 Rock Meets WKRP in Cincinnati

The Seven Best Capers of 2008

Dec 30, 2008

5 Famous Actors & The Roles They Turned Down

Is Your Netflix Queue Destroying the Environment?

Dec 26, 2008

Memorable Moments from 2008 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Hindsight isn't always 20/20.

NFL 2008 - Week 17

Merry Christmas and Happy Inevitable Late-Season, Playoff-Missing Collapse, Vikings Fans!

Dec 24, 2008

Prospectus Today: A Holiday Surprise

Dec 23, 2008

A Best Picture Contender's Guide to Running Against Slumdog Millionaire

Dec 22, 2008

The Science of the Hangover