Full disclosure: many of these jokes were written by Michelle Obama in 2008.
What could possibly be making all these people want to escape reality?
Luckily, all the passive-aggressive e-mail hashing out the schedule for the timeshare he splits with the Easter Bunny is overwith by Memorial Day.
Time for a return to full body swimwear!
Shouldn't have prematurely shot your wad on that Flag Day dry run; now you've got a mess on your hands.