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Remember when the Oscars happened? Like, months ago? Well, this happened too! And finally, we got our stuff together and got it published. Featuring extra-special contributions from Holly Moyer and Betsy Rosenblatt! Enjoy!

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It's BAAAA-aaaack. Wait, that's a typo: it's back. Featuring special guest movie drafter Alicia Kirk.

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Why just settle for rooting for Oscar-nominated actors when you can use them as pawns in your own diabolical chess game?

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Is it possible to mine an iota of excitement from this year's Oscars? Is Rooney Mara the name of a female person? Can a chat room transcript still make for captivating reading even if nobody in it is impersonating a 15-year-old girl? We aim to answer all these questions with a hearty "Indeed, sir!"

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It's just like our Movie Draft, but with twice the rules and half the fun. Oh dear lord, what have we done?

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In which all of our lists, combined, tell you all you really need to know about what you should be watching.

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Will you still view me as a credible critic after seeing The Glee Project on my list? I suppose that means you had to see me as credible in the first place, so there.

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When is a Just Like Heaven ripoff just like Heaven? When I say so!

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What were you going to do with the Oscars on Sunday – just watch them? We remixed the sumbitches! Welcome to the future!

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If you don't watch these shows, you're bad and wrong.

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Finally, a list that salutes the triumph of Becker reruns and live-to-tape coverage of professional bowling!

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Imagine Ocean's 12 meets Son of Oklahoma, only way shittier.

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We did this last year and you shit your pants from its awesomeness. All we can say is, we hope you bought at least two new pairs of pants this year.

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Brandon wants to shoot DVDs into space. Mike wants to shave Morgan Spurlock. Joe threatens to punch Jameson in the face. Jameson threatens to burn down the Internet. But in the end, the love is just too strong...

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Time to lay the hammer down, bitches!

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The first of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft brings us Robert Downey, Jr. on a quest for the truth about the 1969 moon landing.

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Fire. Sliced bread. The automobile. Flight. Landing on the moon. These were some of mankind's greatest achievements. Until now.

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While everyone debates which movie deserves to win at this year's Oscars, we take a look at who should have won in 2003. Be warned: the Academy's choices don't look any better in the long view.

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Mmmmm, football good. Politics bad.