Jan 12, 2018

Influenza has been making headlines this winter, as the number of people affected by it grows with each passing day. What's behind this surge in the flu?

Reasons Why This Flu Season Is Worse Than Ever

—This year's flu shot was mostly mayonnaise and llama urine. (Brandon)

—Influenza viruses in the Midwest and Northeast have been colluding with Russia. (Mike)

—Well unless you're a Vikings fan this football season is also worse than ever. #SKOL #unjinxable #ThisIsTheYear (Joe M.)

—Many people are voluntarily contracting the flu in the hope that they'll fall into a coma and sleep off the next three years of Trump. (Matt)

—After his death, Jerry's Kids were released from their dungeon beneath the telethon studio and are spreading disease far and wide. (Joe W.)

—Irresponsible storyline on NBC's This Is Us where all the characters were super excited about getting the flu. (Brandon)

—Trump taunted this year’s virus, calling it “low energy.” (Mike)

—Latest teen craze: chewing used Kleenex instead of gum. (Brandon)

—People, sick and well alike, are interacting in public more this year than at any point in over a decade, because if you stay home there's a chance you might unwittingly tune into NBC and accidentally expose yourself to a few brief seconds of the "Will & Grace" reboot. (Joe M.)

—To own the libs? (Joe W.)

—The limited time return of the inexplicably popular McDonald's menu item, the McFlu-ry. (Brandon)

—There’s less vomiting with this strain, so you don’t even get to lose weight. (Mike)

—Many young people are so into the hip-hop musical "Hamilton" that they are attempting to live their lives exactly as Americans did in the 1770s, including the part where you never go and get a flu shot. (Joe M.)

—Between eating too much, sleeping too little, and worrying about Trump, the bodies of most Americans have the immunity level of a newborn. (Brandon)

—The country has become a real shithole. (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Mike Wagner, Joe Wright

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