Dec 16, 2016

—Tamper with the elections of other countries. (Jameson)

—The dance from Beyoncé's "All the Single Ladies." (Tenessa)

—Be disappointed by Westworld. (Brandon)

—Become a Trump Cabinet official, apparently. (Mike)

—Take grandma's ashes to the Grand Canyon, cuz that's a long-ass drive from Maryland. (Matt)

—Put together a Timberwolves roster that has a ghost of a chance to make the playoffs. (Joe)

—Sit through M. Night Shyamalan movies so nobody else has to. (Jameson)

—Take a self-driving Uber to their destination. (Brandon)

—Sexually pleasure a stern, bookish librarian with a bun in her hair. (Mike)

—Explain to me why pumpernickel bread doesn't contain a single goddamn nickel. (Matt)

—Convince the needed 37 Republican electors not to vote for Donald Trump in the electoral college. (Joe)

—Talk jumpers off of bridges, or at least let them watch a clip of last night's Fallon on the way down. (Jameson)

—Dronejobs. (Matt)

—Definitively weigh in on who farted (it was Dave). (Mike)

—Portray Peter Parker in the 784th reboot of the Spider-Man franchise, coming to theaters in 2018! (Brandon)

—Have a stinger of its own and the equal freedom to mate with other drones. (What? Really? Hmm, I'm being told this topic isn't about bees and bee rights.) (Tenessa)

—Finish the job that the Terminators couldn't. (Matt)

—Enough cool stuff to get us to look up from our phones once in a while, hopefully. (Joe)

—If these special modifications are correct, handle drop off and pick up at swimming practice. Hop aboard, Suzie! (Mike)

—Learn to love themselves, because that's the greatest love of all. (Brandon)

—Your mom. (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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