Poop Reading - Gifts for the Other Days of Christmas

Gifts for the Other Days of Christmas

—13 truly abhorrent cabinet nominees (Jameson)

—14 ungrateful kids wanting just ten more minutes of screen time (Mike)

—15 additional lords a-leaping, except these guys all have pretty bad cases of psoriasis (Brandon)

—16 straight Cleveland Browns losses (Joe)

—17 things retailers have managed to add pumpkin spice to (Number 6 will amaze you!) (Jameson)

—18 Bud Lights (Matt)

—19 wax statues of Tom Bergeron (Mike)

—20 bucks found on the floor of a strip club (Brandon)

—21 Russian dashcam videos (Matt)

—22 blurry dick pics (Joe)

—23 gently-used checkers (Jameson)

—24 Advent calendar cock rings (Brandon)

—25 Putin pubes (Matt)

—26 female partridges competing for the affection of a single partridge and a new life in his pear tree on ABC's The Partridgelor (Mike)

—27 racist uncles (Joe)

—28 tweets with the potential to destabilize the world economy or nuclear arms race (Jameson)

—29 pounds gained over a three-day weekend (Brandon)

—30 "morning after" pills (Jameson)

—31 bags of "Wheat Chex only" Chex mix (Mike)

—32 homemade maxi pads (Matt)

—33 expired jars of mayonnaise (Brandon)

—34 minutes of awkward small talk between adult brothers until the booze starts flowing freely (Joe)

—35 flavored "relaxation teas" (Jameson)

—36 long strands of golden hair that can swoosh into a majestic, apparently presidential, helmet (Mike)

—37 faithless electors (if only...) (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner