May 13, 2016

—Trump or Monkey? (Mike)

—Startling Owls: A 24-Year Longitudinal Study (Jameson)

—Anybody Want a Bite of This? Otherwise I'm Just Gonna Toss It (Joe)

—Why Come My Bruther Done Got Hisself an Extra Toe? (Brandon)

—New Strategies in Radius Measurement: Using Half of Kim Kardashian's Ass (Mike)

—How Many Butterflies Can Darren Eat? (Jameson)

—But Really Though, Why Don't They Make the Entire Plane Out of the Black Box? (Joe)

—Self-Esteem Benefits of Sucker Punching Rod Stewart (Brandon)

—How Far Is Gangsta's Paradise From the Dashboard Light? A Geographic Exploration into Nonrecurisve Sexploitational Memory (Mike)

—Getting Faster Internet By Plugging Your Wi-Fi Router into a Bowl of Pudding (Jameson)

—What If God Was One of Us? Just a Slob Like One of Us? (Joe)

—Benefits of Exercise vs. Just Stealing a Transfusion of a Healthy Person's Blood While They Sleep (Brandon)

—Things Steven A. Smith Says (Mike)

—Chinchilla Porn: Can It Be Profitable with Non-Swedes? (Jameson)

—How Jacked Can Doritos Get Before Finally Becoming Our New Currency? (Brandon)

—We Created a Character Named George Zimmerman to See How Much Abhorrent Shit We Could Get People to Like on Facebook—Admittedly Things Have Gotten Out of Hand (Jameson)

—Hey, Remember Chumbawamba? (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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