Dec 18, 2015

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, one of the most highly-anticipated movies ever made, has finally arrived, and now that people have seen it, some have found a few things they didn't expect...

Surprises Found in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

—The galaxy is actually far, far, far, far away. (Dan)

—A surprising amount of farts. From primary characters. In really important moments. (Matt)

—More Delta Burke than I expected. (Mike)

—Boba Fett, merciless bounty hunter, is reimagined as "Boba FĂȘte," flamboyantly gay event planner. (Joe)

—Chewbacca costume has been made anatomically correct in unnecessarily graphic fashion. (Brandon)

—Eschewing the outplayed 3D fad, J.J. Abrams went ahead and shot in 9D. (Jameson)

—R2-D2 finally murders C-3PO. (Dan)

—Ever since Han rescued him from the Wampa, Luke has developed a secret, debilitating addiction to sleeping inside of freshly-killed tauntauns. (Matt)

—Beloved John Williams soundtrack replaced by Adele's 25. (Mike)

—Controversial new character in Admiral Ackbar's son Allahu. (Joe)

—Knowing where their bread is buttered, Disney went ahead and merged its canon into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. (Jameson)

—The Sarlacc is off gluten. (Dan)

—As part of a lucrative tie-in with Twitter, AT-ATs are now known as @-@s. (Matt)

—Sy Snootles of the Max Rebo Band gets her friends at Y-Wing Records to have her new album downloaded for free onto everyone's commlink. (Mike)

—Darth Trump. (Joe)

—Luke Skywalker now mostly just uses the Force to get a snack from the kitchen without having to get up off the couch. (Brandon)

—No computer graphics whatsoever; just guys wearing T-shirts that say SCARY ALIEN or WALRUS LIZARD GUY. (Jameson)

—Weird that the trailers and TV ads never mentioned it was a musical. (Joe)

—The one language C-3PO doesn't speak is the language of love. (Dan)

—The prequels were all part of a dream Bob Newhart had. (Mike)

—Princess Leia is now a blowsy recovering addict who writes saucy semi-autobiographical novels about the trials and tribulations of navigating showbiz. (Joe)

—Under all that fur, Chewie is only 30 pounds of skin and bone. (Dan)

—It follows the exact script of Awakenings. (Matt)

—In an effort to appeal to a wider audience of tween girls, the Jedi Knights have been rebranded as a boy band. (Brandon)

—An emotionally fragile Luke Skywalker is defeated when one of the bad guys simply says, "More like Puke Skywalker." (Joe)

—Light sabers are actually pronounced "life savers". Turns out every little kid was right. (Dan)

—It doesn't suck. (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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