Nov 20, 2015

—Now when you order from Domino's, they'll bring you shitty warm pizza instead of shitty room temperature pizza. (Joe)

—Delicious roadside snacks whenever one of these babies jackknifes and spills pizza everywhere. (Jameson)

—Screw trying to rob drivers carrying less than $50 – now you can just steal $800 worth of food. (Matt)

—Creates a slippery home delivery slope that could lead to the Burger King Flame Grilled Flatbed, the Chipotle Amphibious Land Cruiser, and the Blimpie Blimp. (Brandon)

—If you need 81 pizzas right fucking now, Domino's can't help you. (Mike)

—Easily exceeds the Obama administration's heightened fuel efficiency standards for "pizzas per gallon". (Jameson)

—With all the focus on the oven technology, they kinda sorta forgot to add a steering wheel. (Matt)

—Oven will almost certainly become the new #1 suicide option for depressed squirrels. (Brandon)

—Every time you open what you think is the glove compartment, a hundred olives spill out all over the goddamn floor. (Mike)

—Jury's still out on whether states consider 80 pizzas substantial enough to qualify as a "passenger" for the carpool lane. (Jameson)

—Would be pretty fun to elect Chris Christie and have the DXP become the new presidential limousine. (Joe)

—Definitely a better marketing angle than Subway's windowless white van. (Jameson)

—The Red Baron is gonna bomb the shit outta those cars. (Matt)

—Will likely cause a surge in road rage as millions of motorists get tortured by the smell of pizza while sitting in rush hour traffic. (Brandon)

—It's no pizza delivery jet pack. We were promised jet packs. (Mike)

—It isn't self-driving and it doesn't actually feed you the pizza. We call this progress? (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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