Sep 18, 2015

This week, the city of Irving, Texas made headlines as a 14-year-old high school student, Ahmed Mohamed, was arrested for bringing a homemade clock to school because one of Mohamed's teachers – and later, the police – thought it was a bomb. But that's not the only way to get arrested in Irving...

Other Actions That Will Get You Arrested in Irving, Texas

—Looking at the same cat twice in one week. (Jameson)

—Making love out of nothing at all. (Brandon)

—Not eating enough Texas Toast. Also, eating too much Texas Toast. (Matt)

—Clicking the Google "I'm feeling lucky" button with a lady present. (Jameson)

—Butt stuff, probably. You might want to check first. (Mike)

—Murder, probably. You might want to check first. (Joe)

—Recording over an episode of Dallas. (Jameson)

—Failing to fire a pistol in the air in celebration every time you have an orgasm. (Brandon)

—Not naming your second child Irving, regardless of gender. (Matt)

—Playing marbles "for keeps". (Jameson)

—Peeing while sitting down (men and women). (Mike)

—"Thursday Birching", the act of climbing a birch tree, or watching a Thora Birch movie, on a Thursday. (Jameson)

—Saying anything nice about those dipshits over in the neighboring city of Euless. Euless sucks! (Brandon)

—Carrying a concealed firearm... haha, seriously, carrying a concealed firearm with a name like Ahmed. (Jameson)

—Watching Arrested Development? That'll get you arrested. (Matt)

—Asking your doctor if Levitra is right for you. (Jameson)

—Messing with Texas. (Brandon)

—Giving your dog a "people" name. (Jameson)

—Bringing a DVD of Hudson Hawk to school. Now THAT'S a bomb! Thank you, the BvF will be here all week! (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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