Aug 21, 2015

This week, the FDA approved the sale of Flibanserin, a drug designed to help women who suffer from low sex drive that has sometimes been referred to in the media as "female viagra". The drug will be sold under the name Addyi, and as with many current prescription medications, will come with a long list of potential side effects...

Side Effects of the New "Female Viagra" Drug

—A tiny lady boner that looks EXACTLY like a Mike & Ike. (Tenessa)

—Urethral fire hosing. (Brandon)

—Female orgasms 70% as powerful as male ones. (Jameson)

—Thoughts of a young David Cassidy may cause sudden onset of "the vapors." (Mike)

—Uncontrollable desire to sit side-by-side in a pair of clawfoot bathtubs with your aging partner while you watch the sunset together. (Joe)

—"Dragon labia." (Don't ask.) (Tenessa)

—Random, out of context utterances of the question, "How did William Hurt get in there?" (Brandon)

—More vim, but less vigor. (Jameson)

—Will start earning a salary commensurate with that of an equally qualified man. (Mike)

—In rare cases, the user's vagina will begin to tune in and broadcast AM radio. (Brandon)

—Unquenchable desire to appear on the $10 bill. (Jameson)

—For reasons that are not entirely understood, you will immediately start strenuously objecting to any claim that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was not Aaron Sorkin's best show. (Mike)

—Its version of the "erection that lasts more than four hours" problem is a three-day window where you can't stop giving a Nazi salute to every person you see. (Brandon)

—Let's put it this way: You may wish to buy one of those plastic covers for your couch. (Tenessa)

—Tammy still won't want to fuck you, Gary. (Mike)

—Sometimes you'll be eating a sandwich and then the next minute, oops, it's a hamster! [Individuals seeing phantom hamsters must provide legal proof of prior not seeing of phantom hamsters in order to qualify for compensation.] (Brandon)

—Patrick Swayze movie marathons. (Jameson)

—A new brother or sister for your college-age children! (Mike)

—Constant vaginal secretion of what is clearly – against logic and everything we know about human anatomy – strawberry smoothie. (Brandon)

—If you stay horny for more than four hours straight, call your doctor. Then call your dentist. Then your best friend, then your cousin, then the folks down at the Hyundai dealership... call everybody. Tell them how awesome it is. (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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