Mar 6, 2015

Sunday, March 8th at 2:00 a.m. marks the start of Daylight Saving Time, which means that people around the country will be setting their clocks one hour ahead. And while this practice has been used in the U.S. since 1967, it still has its share of positives and drawbacks...

Pros and Cons of Daylight Saving Time

—It's a fond relic of a bygone era when Congress actually did things. (Jameson)

—The satisfying feeling you get knowing that the clock in your car will finally be correct again. #YouMadeIt #AintNobodysBitch (Dan)

—Annual reminder that the federal government doesn't care about your regularly scheduled 2am recording of Bewitched reruns. (Brandon)

—One hour closer to the sweet release of death. (Mike)

—For one time each year, it's an accepted reason for "missing" church. (Matt)

—The longer it stays light out, the longer fellow drivers can see you picking your boogers in traffic. (Joe)

—At the end of the year, you can cash in all the daylight you saved for candy, tote bags, and raffle tickets! (Jameson)

—If you just can't even, you now have one less hour to not be able to even. (Mike)

—One less hour of sleep means an increased chance of your sorry ass actually making it through the night without having to get up to pee. (Brandon)

—A twice-annual reminder of which of your friends are pedantic enough to correct you when you say "Daylight Savings Time". (Jameson)

—One less hour to give Bieber a chance to return your phone calls. (Mike)

—Forced to get up earlier to ambush your enemies. (Dan)

—All children born at 2:00 am on Sunday gain telekinetic powers. (Jameson)

—Prison term just dropped by 60 minutes, m'friend. (Mike)

—The extra daylight is refreshing when you've been masturbating by candlelight all winter. (Matt)

—The lost hour means your taxes are due that much sooner—thanks, Obama! (Jameson)

—You spring two hours forward, she springs two hours back. You come together because opposites attract. (Mike)

—Given most Americans' lack of financial savings, many are keeping their fingers crossed that the accrued daylight will somehow have monetary value in their retirement years. (Brandon)

—I can work in the fields a little bit later each night, so I got that going for me. (Dan)

—Every time we monkey around with the clocks, it becomes that much harder to keep track of the true time that was recorded in the Bible. (Jameson)

—The phrase itself anagrams into "Visit a mighty dangle", proving once again that people can turn anything into crude sexual innuendo. (Brandon)

—If we Americans can all agree to subscribe to a bizarre delusion whereby we pretend to master time itself to suit our petty human concerns, then we can agree on anything. I mean, we won't; but we could. (Joe)

—Closest you will ever get to time travel. (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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