Feb 27, 2015

—Your sister's kiss. (Jameson)

—Vests, sweet 'staches, and oversized sunglasses. (Tenessa)

—Peter Fonda's tiny duck teeth. (Brandon)

—The sound an iguana makes when you artificially inseminate it. (Matt)

—Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women. (Dan)

—Blowjobs. I mean, let's be honest. (Joe)

—Nostalgia tours with exorbitant ticket prices. (Mike)

—A really good list-making pen, and some quality paper to write on. (Jameson)

—Fire extinguishers. (Brandon)

—Getting drunk off of hand sanitizer. (Matt)

—A perfectly executed belly-to-belly suplex. (Joe)

—Shaq's rap albums. (Dan)

—Watching Marv Albert eat. (Jameson)

—That moment when you get home and finally remove whatever slightly binding articles of clothing you've been wearing all day. (Brandon)

—Fooling people into thinking you understand the "gist" of what they're saying, especially doctors. (Matt)

—Raindrops on kittens and whiskers on roses. Just when you think Hall and Oates are gonna zig, they zag. (Joe)

—Hard-core, mustachioed pornography. (Mike)

—The sound of a fart on top of a jello mold. (Matt)

—Ken Burns's tittays! (Brandon)

—Being able to count on the fact that, no matter what is going on in your life, Leonard Nimoy is still alive, so things aren't that bad. (Jameson)

—Dunkin' on fools. (Joe)

—The feeling of being inside a whale uterus. (Matt)

—That Quantum Leap episode where Dr. Sam Beckett traveled back in time to 1984 to stop them from making the music video for "Adult Education". (Brandon)

—Masturbating during an earthquake. (Matt)

—Being Hall instead of Oates. (Dan)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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