POOP READING
Jun 6, 2014

As the calendar turns to June and the weather gets nice, the number of people skipping out on their job begins to grow. But not everyone is adept at talking their way out of work for the day...

Worst Excuses Ever Given for Missing Work

—"My Stuart Cink Tumblr isn't going to update itself!" (Joe)

—"I pooped on my pants." (Matt)

—"My mother's brother's only nephew died." (Brandon)

—"I was remembering 9-11?" (Dan)

—"Sorry, my interview for a different job ran long." (Jameson)

—"I have bilateral leg weakness." (Joe Mauer only) (Mike)

—"My cat's getting a hysterectomy." (Matt)

—"I went swimming last night immediately after eating, and I'm still dealing with that." (Dan)

—"I have post-traumatic stress disorder from watching Apocalypse Now." (Brandon)

—"I was on my way to the office, but made a wrong turn and ended up in Vegas for the weekend." (Jameson)

—"I dunked so hard on a guy at the Y last night that he had a heart attack and died. So I'm going to be working on his funeral arrangements today." (Matt)

—"Leg cramp!!!" (Dan)

—"Oh, right; like you could watch Rocky and Rocky II without skipping work to knock out the next four Rockys." (Joe)

—"I was just fired from my other job for missing too many days, so I need to take a day off to think about what I could have done differently." (Matt)

—"Bieber Fever." (Dan)

—"I crossed into a parallel dimension where I'm too busy doing my job to come back to the original dimension and do my job." (Brandon)

—"I haven't written my Baron von Funny jokes yet." (Matt)

—"Was that today??" (Dan)

—"I was up all night coming up with this excuse." (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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