Poop Reading - Little-Known Facts About 'Adele Dazeem'

Little-Known Facts About "Adele Dazeem"

—Travolta mispronounces her name as "Ham Fistula." (Brandon)

—She provided the voice of one of the two princesses in Disney's Franzerm. (Tenessa)

—Her murder started the Franco-Prussian War. (Mike)

—Her real name MUST NEVER BE SAID ALOUD! (Dan)

—Can't sing, but also can't stop singing. (Jameson)

—Once shanked a screw in the joint. (Joe)

—If there's one thing she hates more than pomp, it's circumstance. (Matt)

—Will only have sex with men's necks. (Brandon)

—Was the inspiration for the Shaquille O'Neal vehicle Kazaam. (Mike)

—Writes mysteries under the pen name Idina Menzel. (Dan)

—U.S. Ambassador to the UN under Gerald Ford, 1974-76. (Jameson)

—Can bench 350 without even thinking about it. (Joe)

—Always has a 93% blood alcohol content, yet all she ever drinks is the sauce from cans of baked beans. (Brandon)

—Holds the American League record for most times reaching base by catcher's interference in one season (oh, wait, that's Steve Lombardozzi). (Mike)

—Her name is not an anagram for "Mazda Dealer". (Jameson)

—She's totally ready for some football. (Dan)

—Will soon be revealed to be the mysterious "Yellow King" on the season one finale of HBO's True Detective. (Brandon)

—Venezuelans consider finding a picture of her on the floor of a cock-fighting pit to be good luck. (Mike)

—Is actually Kristin Chenoweth sitting on Rhea Perlman's shoulders. (Joe)

—Like the rest of us, has not seen Battlefield Earth. (Jameson)

—Whenever you hear a noise in the middle of the night, that probably isn't her. (Brandon)

—She will host the 2015 Academy Awards (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner