POOP READING
Feb 7, 2014

Next week, the American Kennel Club will host the 138th annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, a two-day event featuring dogs from across the country competing in several different judging categories, such as Best in Group, Best of Breed, and Best in Show. 178 dog breeds are eligible for the event, including this year's new additions the Rat Terrier, Chinook, and the Portuguese Podengo – however, there are many more breeds who sadly don't make the cut...

Ineligible Breeds at the Westminster Dog Show

—American Morbidly Obese Hound (Mike)

—Taiwanese Piranhamouth (Jameson)

—Peruvian Leg Humper (Brandon)

—Jane Russell Terrier (Judges can't stop staring at its boobs) (Dan)

—The Barbara Boxer (Joe)

—Interracial Lab (Matt)

—Slate Columnist Wearing a Dog Costume (Jameson)

—Bernese Mountain Dew Dog (Brandon)

—Siberian Fatso (Dan)

—Horndog (Joe)

—Gesture Hound (Matt)

—Kim Deal (Oops, that's an ineligible member of the Breeders) (Mike)

—Mutt with the Singing Voice of Billy Joel (Jameson)

—Japanese Whazoo (Dan)

—Irish Shitter (Joe)

—Papal Custodian Bernard (Matt)

—Used Condom Retriever (Brandon)

—Nancy Grace (Jameson)

—Racist Malamute (Dan)

—Disputed Karki Exclave of Nakhchivan Autonomous Republic of Azerbaijan Border Collie (Matt)

—Member of the Cleveland Browns Dawg Pound (Joe)

—Air Bud (Jameson)

—Joe Cocker Spaniel (Matt)

—Whippet Good (Dan)

—Pitbull (You know, the singer. He can't come.) (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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