POOP READING
Nov 15, 2013

Last weekend, 60 Minutes issued an on-air apology for an interview they ran a few weeks earlier with a contractor who claimed to be a witness to the attack on the American embassy in Benghazi in 2012, because the contractor's claims turned out to be fabricated. But this is hardly the first time the long-running TV newsmagazine has blown a story...

Other Mistakes from Over the Years That 60 Minutes Would Like to Retract

—It's probably not a good idea to burn styrofoam. (Mike)

—Andy Griffith did not invent "wilding". (Brandon)

—The Libyans who stormed the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi weren't the same ones who killed Doc Brown in Back To the Future. (Joe)

—The Titanic disaster was more than just "a few women overreacting again". (Jameson)

—Celine Dion's last words were not "Suck It!" Also, Celine Dion is not currently deceased. (Dan)

—Anna Nicole Smith's ample breasts did not suffocate her in her sleep. (Matt)

—Charles Nelson Reilly did not mastermind the Watergate break-in. (Jameson)

—As it turns out, teenagers high on ecstasy do not have the power of limited flight for the purpose of pooping on unsuspecting homeowners from above. (Brandon)

—You cannot actually power a clock radio with a human baby. (Jameson)

—George W. Bush didn't actually play for all of those sports franchises; those jerseys were apparently given to him by championship teams visiting the White House. (Joe)

—Dr. Phil is not a doctor of "gettin' it onnnnn". (Jameson)

—No one on the 60 Minutes staff actually witnessed Tom Brokaw best a wolf in battle and then eat its young. (Brandon)

—Turkey is a country, and a food, AND an animal. (Joe)

—The Hunger Games film series is not financed directly by Al Qaeda. (Jameson)

—Michael Jackson never used pilates to make his nose smaller. (Mike)

—Florida State University is a real university. (Jameson)

—Michael Jordan did not single-handedly defeat a team of black draculas, or "blackulas", to win the 1993 NBA Championship. (Brandon)

—The name of author E. Annie Proulx is not an onomatopoeia for the sound of a badger vomiting on a campfire. (Jameson)

—Technically you can fight this feeling; doing so is just strongly discouraged. (Joe)

—Truck stop chili dogs have never been tax-deductible. (Jameson)

—In the movie Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi's catchphrase was not "Let's get them Nazi sumbitches!" (Brandon)

—There is no evidence that Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh was sponsored by Fruit Roll-Ups. (Jameson)

—Sincerely meant to imply only that Jason Collins sucks at basketball. (Joe)

—Tomatoes are not "up to something". (Jameson)

—Andy Rooney. (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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