Poop Reading - Reasons Some Americans Have Not Filed Their Taxes Yet

Reasons Some Americans Have Not Filed Their Taxes Yet

—Thought the bumper sticker said "Don't Mess With Taxes". (Joe)

—Too busy buying guns without a background check. (Tenessa)

—Can't seem to find the "file taxes" button on their Xbox. (Dan)

—On any given day, approximately 3% of Americans are stuck in taffy and therefore unable to complete any tasks. (Brandon)

—Mistakenly took their taxes to the Butcher Block and their elk meat to H&R Block. (Matt)

—IRS is unable to accept a postcard addressed to "The Gubmint" that simply reads "come and git me, college boys". (Joe)

—I asked Amelia Bedelia to deliver my tax return to the outgoing mail, and she handed them to George Clooney. Oh, Amelia Bedelia! (Tenessa)

—Thought Siri was going to take care of it. (Dan)

—Vowed not to file taxes until gay people are allowed to file taxes too. (Joe)

—Mistakenly placed their trust in Wesley Snipes's new tax preparation franchise, "Money Train". (Brandon)

—Wait... taxes are due every year?? (Matt)

—Thought Obama was going to take care of all that. Voted for him twice, for Chrissakes. (Joe)

—Too busy watching Downton Abbey, am I right? People love Downton Abbey jokes, right? Or Mad Men? Game of Thrones? Eh, whatever. (Dan)

—Refuse to play taxes until the government does something about all these ridiculous goddamn April snowstorms. (Brandon)

—"If Telly Savalas doesn't file a tax retun, I don't file a tax return!" (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder