The state of Washington has been facing an outbreak of pertussis, also known as whooping cough, over the last year, with 640 reported cases, compared to 94 cases during the previous year. But around the country, there are growing outbreaks of much more obscure illnesses...
Lesser-Known Diseases That Are on the Rise
—Strep ass (Joe)
—Gefilte foot (Brandon)
—Restless cock syndrome (Jameson)
—Shopaholism! Am I right, ladies? [punches self in face] (Tenessa)
—Whooping queef (Matt)
—A bad case of lovin' you (Joe)
—Multiple Sklarosis (instead of seeing just two Sklar brothers, you see anywhere from 3 to 137) (Brandon)
—Romney lips (Jameson)
—This thing that's like feline AIDS, but in people. (Tenessa)
—Kardashiass (Matt)
—Every single disease, immediately, if the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare!!! (Joe)
—Cases of "The Mondays" are at an all-time high in Cathy, Kansas. (Tenessa)
—Penile vomiting (penis ejects a viscous, milky-white fluid every couple of hours) (Brandon)
—Walking Dead frustration (Joe)
—Pubic mice (Tenessa)
—Fecal lactation (Jameson)
—Involuntary Arsenio Hall arm (Matt)
—Incorrect use of "literally" is a pestilence that cannot be stopped. (But Chris Traeger's use of "LIT-relly" remains at a healthy level.) (Tenessa)
—Trump hair (Joe)
Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons
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