Sep 9, 2011

Sure, Superman can fly, Spiderman can climb walls, and Aquaman can communicate with sea creatures, and everybody loves them for it. But what about those who have been granted less impressive super powers?

Least Popular Super Powers

—Ability to communicate with sandwiches. (Matt)

—X-Ray vision, but only when looking at Chaz Bono. (Mike)

—An unyielding ability to deny the realities of climate change. (Jameson)

—Strength of Terence Trent D'Arby. (Brandon)

—Ability to shoot fire out of your crotch. (Tenessa)

—Ultra dishwasher loading speed. (Matt)

—Perfect record of using "your" and "you're." (Mike)

—Ability to recreate your every fart in a perfect onomatopoeia. (Jameson)

—Super patellar reflex. (Brandon)

—Mental pencil sharpening. (Matt)

—Ability to convince your sister to do "butt stuff." (Mike)

—Bowling like a girl. (Jameson)

—Ability to spot undocumented surveying errors. (Brandon)

—Unsurpassed gorilla palm reading accuracy. (Matt)

—No matter how much you poop, it's always a one-wiper. (Mike)

—Ability to tell if someone is Swedish simply by looking at their neck. (Brandon)

—Accelerated armpit hair regeneration. (Matt)

—Can always sense when Jersey Shore is on. (Mike)

—Supersonic ejaculatory force. (Brandon)

—Ability to sense public urination crimes as they are happening. (Matt)

—Being Belgian. (Tenessa)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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