POOP READING
May 13, 2011

The Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Hindu text on human sexual behavior, has been read by many people over the years. And while its section on sex acts is probably the most infamous part of the book, there are many suggested positions that have yet to make the rounds...

Lesser-Known Kama Sutra Positions

—The Long-Form Birth Certificate (Mike)

—The Extended Warranty (Joe)

—I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing (Brandon)

—Asking the One-Legged Man for Directions on a Jet-Ski (Jameson)

—The Mama Grizzly (though halfway through, you have to quit for no reason) (Mike)

—In Through the Out Door (Brandon)

—Orthodontist's Surprise (Jameson)

—Mother-in-Law On Top (Mike)

—Tyler Perry's The Congress of the Crow (Brandon)

—Plugging in the Wii (Jameson)

—SEAL Team 6 (Joe)

—The Gingrich Whale Thrust (optional variation to leer at secretary you will later marry) (Mike)

—The Shake and Bake (Brandon)

—How'd Clint Howard Get in Here? (Jameson)

—Donkey Flapjack Surprise, with "Backdoor" Option (Mike)

—The Birther (Brandon)

—Four Meerkats in Two Bags (Jameson)

—Osama bin Labia (Mike)

—Filling Out U.S. Small Business Administration Form 4-I: Lender's Application for Guaranty or Participation (Brandon)

—The Elements of Style (Jameson)

—The Sacred Cow (that one is just humping a fat girl during church) (Joe)

Spy Kids 3-D is Sold Out (Jameson)

—The Insert the Penis Into the Vagina (Brandon)

—The Full Busey (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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