Mar 18, 2011

Thursday was St. Patrick's Day, traditionally a day of celebration around the world. And you certainly celebrated, didn't you?

Signs You Got Drunker Than You Realized on St. Patrick's Day

—You find yourself on the state sex offender registry and the "do not serve" list at TCBY. (Jameson)

—You appear to have awakened in some sort of chicken coop. (Brandon)

—You picked The University of Claire in Accounting is a Bitch to win your office NCAA bracket pool. (Mike)

—It's impossible to be sure, but all of the bread crumbs and mayonnaise under your covers probably means you either made a sandwich in bed or "made it" with a sandwich in bed. (Matt)

—You nearly choked to death on vomit. And according to the ER doctors, it wasn't yours. (Joe)

—Someone shaved off your ironic green mustache and glued it to your ironic green penis. (Tenessa)

—You now own You, Me, and Dupree on Blu-ray. (Jameson)

—In your pocket, you find a document confirming your legal name change to Paddy O'Fuckyourself. (Mike)

—The paternity suit on your front door has taught you more than you ever wanted to know about the viability of human-cockatiel interbreeding. (Jameson)

—That wasn't beer with green food coloring; it was Red Bull and Barbicide. (Joe)

—You have a vague memory of fighting a cardboard cutout of Suze Orman at a Barnes and Noble. (Matt)

—There's a tattoo on your face of you getting a tattoo removed from your back. (Jameson)

—Snickering co-workers keep asking when they'll get to see your li'l leprechaun again. (Mike)

—Your phone contains pictures of you having sex with Ireland. Not with a person. Just you humping The Emerald Isle. (Tenessa)

—You're now "following" Sarah Palin on Twitter. (Jameson)

—Wedding band on your finger. Receipt from Massachusetts toll both on your nightstand. Your best bud Sully naked in bed next to you. Oh crap. (Brandon)

—You agreed to begin paying for web content you currently get for free at www.nytimes.com. (Mike)

—You just woke up on the floor, and the party hat on your head reads "St. Patrick's Day 2010!" (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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