POOP READING
Feb 4, 2011

Dogs have long been used to sniff out drugs and bombs, and this week, Japanese researchers announced that they have trained a labrador retriever to detect colon cancer through breath and stool samples nearly as accurately as a colonoscopy. Is there any limit to the things dogs can sniff out?

Other Things Dogs Can Detect By Smell

—Secret Muslims. (Mike)

—The percentages of coyote meat, squirrel bones, and horse semen in your Taco Bell taco. (Brandon)

—Who "dealt" it. (Though according to the legally binding statutes regarding "He who smelt it," the dog will still get blamed.) (Joe)

—Whether your third child will be a boy or a girl... while you're still pregnant with your second child. (Jameson)

—Can they tell if these pants are still clean enough to wear to work? 'Cause I don't feel like walking all the way down to the basement. (Tenessa)

—Human balls that haven't been suddenly and painfully poked in a long time. (Mike)

—They can't tell you who's going to win the Super Bowl, but they can tell you which player is most likely to get caught with a transvestite hooker the night before. (Brandon)

—Why people continue to insist that The Big Bang Theory is good. (Joe)

—Free Wi-Fi. (Jameson)

—Republican lawmakers reportedly have one that can tell whether someone was really raped, or just "sort of, but, you know, not really" raped. (Tenessa)

—Whether a joke was written by Jay Leno and his Tonight Show writing staff. (Brandon)

—Not just bacon, but the money you will be using to buy bacon, and the gas you will be using to drive to work to earn money to buy bacon. (Jameson)

—My husband's sheer joy when he sees a ninja. (Tenessa)

—The authenticity of most Courtney Love memorabilia. (Brandon)

—Pat Robertson's bullshit. (Jameson)

—West Virginians. (Tenessa)

—I'm not sure if dogs can detect this, but my wife knows if I just turned on the water in the sink and stood there without using any soap after I take a shit. (Mike)

—Whether Brett Favre is going to stay retired this time. (Joe)

—Every Two and a Half Men punch line five seconds before it's delivered. (Jameson)

—Your stupid ass face, you assface! (Brandon)

—That deep-fried pickle you ate at the state fair last year. (Although, let's face it, even humans can still smell that sucker.) (Tenessa)

—The difference between Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney. (Jameson)

—Whether or not it really isn't butter. (Brandon)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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