Sep 24, 2010

It was revealed this week that I'm Still Here, the Joaquin Phoenix documentary directed by Casey Affleck was a hoax, as was Phoenix's retirement from acting and his aspiring rap career. It was a reminder that when it comes to presenting facts, not all documentaries are created equal...

Signs That the Documentary You're Watching Might Not Be Legitimate

—It "stars" someone. (Mike)

—You're pretty sure Charles Lindbergh wasn't a 4-foot-9 Portuguese woman. (Brandon)

—Things take an unexpected turn when the pizza boy shows up at the sorority house. (Sean)

—Narrator finishes each sentence of voice-over with the phrase, "Or at least that's what I read on Wikipedia." (Joe)

—Jon Krasinski keeps smirking at the camera. (Tenessa)

—Assertion that the first words uttered by Prince Charles upon hearing of Princess Diana's death were "Holy handjobs on holiday!" (Matt)

—It shows the Detroit Lions winning a game. (Mike)

—Was that just two dudes dressed up as a horse? (Brandon)

—Authorities track down Sasquatch by consulting his Twitter feed. (Joe)

—The Hamburglar is featured, but not shown stealing cheeseburgers. (Matt)

—It was brought to you by BP. (Tenessa)

—Numerous mentions of time travel. (Sean)

—The title contains the phrases "Secret Muslim," "Tea Party," or "Islamofascist." (Mike)

—No one in your family remembers the Watergate indictments hinging on the testimony of a Domino's pizza delivery guy. (Brandon)

—The "sociology professor" they keep interviewing looks suspiciously like the guy who played the dad on Family Matters. (Joe)

—There's a hardcore Meryl Streep sex scene. (Matt)

—Siguorney Weaver's voice-over is peppered with drunken laughter. (Tenessa)

—Their dad plays in the NBA. (Oh wait, sorry, that's a sign that the children you're watching might not be legitimate.) (Mike)

—JFK is shown sexting photos of his cock. (Brandon)

—Guy storming the beach at Normandy is clearly wearing a "Third Eye Blind" T-shirt. (Joe)

—It was directed by Michael Moore. (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Sean Hecht, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Mike Wagner

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