POOP READING
Jul 24, 2010

Mel Gibson has made millions of dollars, won numerous awards, and has established himself as an international superstar, but apparently it isn't enough to make him happy...

Reasons Mel Gibson Is So Angry

—He was heavily invested in BP stock. (Jameson)

—Still bitter that so many Jews survived the Holocaust. (Tenessa)

—Now he's getting too old for this shit. (Mike)

—Recently found out that an assembly of black men is actually called a "herd" and not a "pack," as he mistakenly referred to them. (Joe)

—I'm guessing he's spent a lot of time in U.S. airports recently. That'll do it to anybody. (Brandon)

—Still can't believe that the Child's Play franchise made it to a fifth movie before Lethal Weapon did. (Brad)

—Helen Thomas stole all his best material. (Jameson)

—Did you see Edge of Darkness? Yeah, me neither. (Mike)

—After being named "Sexiest Man Alive" by People Magazine in 1985, was dethroned by Mark Harmon a year later despite not getting any less sexy in the interim. (Joe)

—Hello, he's Mad Max. Duh. (Tenessa)

—Christian Bale keeps walking into his sightline. (Jameson)

—Also virulently hates Arabs, not that anyone has bothered to notice. (Joe)

—His iPhone 4 keeps dropping calls right before he unloads a really good racial epithet. (Mike)

—Still can't understand how he wound up as the lesser-respected of the two leads in Air America. (Brandon)

—Have you seen what passes for an enchilada "supreme" at Taco Bell? (Jameson)

—The only person willing to blow him before his jacuzzi is Andy Dick. (Mike)

—One of the lingerie models he pays to wash his taint three times a day used a loofah that was an eighth of a percent too coarse, or whatever the hell problems super rich guys have. (Joe)

—Lindsey Graham (R-SC) voted to confirm Elena Kagan 13-6, when his party affiliation and conservative values dictate that he should have voted against her for a tidy 12-7 result instead. (Jameson)

—Still pissed that he didn't get more answers from the LOST finale. (Tenessa)

—Um... because she's a gold-digging Russian cunt bitch whore. Am I the only one who heard those tapes? (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brad Kruse, Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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