POOP READING
Apr 30, 2010

Wednesday, May 5th will mark the 32nd anniversary of Ben & Jerry's, known around the world for their clever and iconic ice cream flavors, such as Cherry Garcia, Karamel Sutra, Phish Food, and Chubby Hubby, as well as more plain-titled fare such as Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch and New York Super Fudge Chunk. But not all of their creations have proven so successful...

Rejected Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavors

—Death Panel Pistachio (Mike)

—Date Grape (Joe)

—Veal Patrick Harris (Tenessa)

—Don't Make Me Artichoke a Bitch (Matt)

—Pigskin Passion (pork rinds in beer-flavored ice cream) (Brad)

—You Filthy S'more (Brandon)

—Raw Taco Meat Chunk (Jameson)

—Don't Pecan Sarah Praline (Mike)

—Eat-Your-Feelings ShameFudge (Tenessa)

—Taint Nothin' Butt Chocolate and Nuts (Matt)

—Lonely Cat Lady Neapolitan (Joe)

—Vanilla Beanie Weenie (Brandon)

—Pubic Pumpkin Pie (Tenessa)

—Sloppy Seconds (combination of leftover mix-ins from other flavors) (Matt)

—This is a Big Fudgin' Deal Health Care Swirl (Mike)

—Butt Stuff Butter Crunch (Tenessa)

—Ty "Georgia Peach" Cobbler (not available for purchase by Negroes, Spaniards, or "dandies"). (Matt)

—Bleached Asshole (vanilla ice cream with a fudge core center) (Brad)

—Not The Biggest Loser Chocolate Nut-Chunk Toffee Brickle Marshmallow-Cream Crunch (Mike)

—Banana Bloat (Tenessa)

—Double Penetration Fudge (Matt)

—Ass to Mouth-Watering Watermelon (Joe)

—Dirty Hippie Chocolate Chippy (Brandon)

—HBO's Treme Brûlée (Mike)

—Who-the-Fuck-Is-Justin-Bieber Berry (Tenessa)

—Marshmallow Cream Happy Ending (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brad Kruse, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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