Sep 18, 2009

Rapper/singer/possibly deranged person Kanye West made headlines again this week after interrupting an MTV Video Music Awards acceptance speech by singer Taylor Swift for Best Female Video, grabbing the microphone to declare that Beyonce, whose "Single Ladies" video was also up for the same award, made "one of the best videos of all time." Now that the floodgates are open, Kanye has a lot more he'd like to say...

Other Interjections Kanye West Can No Longer Keep to Himself

—"The U.S. might have won World War Two, but the Nazis had one of the best armies of all time." (Mike)

—"Barack Obama doesn't care about jackasses." (Jameson)

—"I got nothing but love for Taylor Swift. Who I really hate is former President Zachary Taylor. Compromise of 1850, my ass!" (Brandon)

—"I'll start eating white bread when white people start eating black forest ham." (Matt)

—"The Goonies really doesn't hold up! Watch it again as an adult if you don't believe me!" (Joe)

—"I'm the black Andy Rooney!" (Mike)

—"Brothels are one place I'll never buy a souvenir again." (Matt)

—"Even I find Sarah Palin a little bonkers." (Jameson)

—"Ypsilanti Hoosegow!" (Mike)

—"While a reasonable variant, afterwards should never be used to replace afterward." (Matt)

—"'Marvelous' Marvin Hagler was only excellent." (Mike)

—"Diet Dr. Pepper really does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper." (Jameson)

—"One major problem in American politics today is that many citizens organize their preferences in ways that do not perfectly match the issue positions regularly taken by our elected Republicans and Democrats in Washington. For every liberal or conservative American, there is a libertarian, populist, or moderate American. Thus, questions of a polarized electorate focus on the nation's liberals and conservatives, leaving out the many libertarians, populists, and moderates who simply don't have a partisan home in the contemporary political landscape." (Mike)

—"Walking is the lowest form of dancing." (Matt)

—"We could eradicate the swine flu in one hour if we dynamite the Panama Canal." (Jameson)

—"Midgets are hilarious, yo! Why can't we all just admit that shit?" (Joe)

—"Mexican water hates black people's colons!" (Mike)

—"Sprite and Sierra Mist are the same damn thing!" (Matt)

—"I will not be watching any future Wes Anderson movies until I receive a personal apology for The Darjeeling Limited." (Jameson)

—"Of all the ladies I've 'known,' no one rocked the house like Delta Burke!" (Mike)

—"Any conversation about the Harry Potter franchise's rank in the fantasy genre is moot without first discussing the greatness of both Krull and Red Sonja." (Matt)

—"From now on, I'd like to be called 'Puffy'." (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

© poopreading.com, all rights reserved – advertising info