Poop Reading - Other Controversial, Inappropriate, or Otherwise Odd Remarks Made By Miss USA Pageant Contestants

Other Controversial, Inappropriate, or Otherwise Odd Remarks Made By Miss USA Pageant Contestants

—"Last night, a judge asked me to poop in his mouth." (Mike)

—"I guess the thing I'm most proud of is my ability to braid pubic hair." (Brad)

—"I can't help it, I just start laughing really hard whenever I think about Natasha Richardson's tragic death." (Jameson)

—"Is it still okay to call them dirty Spaniards?" (Brandon)

—"...and that's why all those people who support world peace can go screw themselves." (Joe)

—"I do believe torturing cats in my basement is protected by a little something called the Bill of Rights." (Matt)

—"I must say, I think it's very disrespectful for you to refer to the President as 'Bo' Obama, even if his first name is hard to pronounce." (Sean)

—"The carpet does match the drapes, but hidden beneath the carpet is my penis." (Jameson)

—"I think marriage should be between a man and a woman, so long as the man and woman are both white." (Mike)

—"Providing daycare for children is best left to nature's butler: the monkey." (Matt)

—"I hope I can serve as a role model for young girls everywhere – except the fatties. And those girls with the sideburns, eww." (Jameson)

—"Does anyone have one those 'morning after' pills?" (Brandon)

—"NBC's decision to air Jay Leno five nights a week in primetime is both ratings and comedy gold!" (Mike)

—"My fondest childhood memory is the burst of pride I got when I purchased my first Negro." (Jameson)

—"Of course I'm in favor of youth in Asia – I'm in favor of youth everywhere!" (Pauses, listens) "It means what??" (Sean)

—Miss New Jersey's claim "I got your 'federal bailout' right here," said while grabbing her crotch. (Joe)

—"I deny the Holocaust, the existence of Denmark, and anything Charlie Sheen says I did with him backstage." (Jameson)

—"What do you mean sticking a baby up my vagina isn't a talent? You haven't even seen the part where he's 'born again'!" (Brandon)

—"Don't look at me, that fish stench is coming from Miss Alaska!" (Brad)

—"My uncle thinks I'm the best kisser, but he says my rim job technique 'needs work'." (Jameson)

—"Okay, technically, while high on crack, I did have sex for money in order to buy more crack, but I think the term 'crack whore' gets thrown around a little too loosely these days." (Brandon)

—"I don't know if it's a quota thing or what, but I can't believe how many trannies there are this year." (Matt)

—"We'll never have a serious discussion about elder care in this country if cannibalism is off the table before we even start." (Jameson)

—"America, if I win the title, I look forward to a year of getting thrown up on by your fat children, and felt up by your creepy old dudes." (Brandon)

—"If I don't win, I'm just gonna pork out, go on The Biggest Loser, and get rich that way, bitches!" (Mike)

—"I just want to say, to any of the babies I've abandoned in dumpsters and mop closets over the years, if you're watching this – follow your dreams. Anything is possible." (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Sean Hecht, Brad Kruse, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

CATEGORIES

Other Controversial, Inappropriate, or Otherwise Odd Remarks Made By Miss USA Pageant Contestants