Jan 2, 2009

NBC has made the decision to give Jay Leno a nightly prime-time talk show starting in the fall of 2009. Clearly they haven't thought this through...

Better Uses for NBC's 10pm Time Slot Than Giving It to Jay Leno

—Reruns of the previous night's Letterman. (Matt)

—Premiere new variety show: The John Tesh Watches a Turd Dry Hour. (Sean)

—Show different pictures of actors from films and TV shows of the '50s and early '60s, and then have two old people who say, "Hey, I remember that guy!" every time a new picture comes on. (Joe)

—A nightly, in-person, hour-long apology from former NBC president Warren Littlefield for giving The Tonight Show to Jay Leno in the first place. (Mike)

—Tranquilize a bear, give it a pile of diapers and old doughnuts to rummage through, and let home viewers wager on the results via cell phone text messages. (Jameson)

—Still give it to Leno, but promise that at some point during the hour-long broadcast every night, he will be attacked by feral cats. (Brandon)

The Wilford Brimley Oatmeal & Diabetes Infomercial Hour. (Matt)

—A sitcom about an alien. Seems like it's been a couple of years since we've had a sitcom about an alien. (Joe)

—Show bloopers from The View – them ladies is funny! (Mike)

—An all-monkey version of the classic NBC must-see hit Friends (with the exception of Marcel the Monkey, who would be played by Matt LeBlanc). (Brandon)

Rosie Live, this time with Donald Trump providing running commentary, Statler and Waldorf style. (Jameson)

—New reality show: Things Overheard in Ed Asner's Bathroom. (Sean)

—First word: arm. Second word: wrestling. And if you even need me to add a third word, then brother, I honestly wish you the best, but I'm afraid we've got nothing more to say to each other. (Joe)

—Reunite the A-Team (including the late George Peppard). (Mike)

—One hour of that unreasonably loud test tone for the Emergency Alert System. (Matt)

Plane and Simple, a live reality show in which contestants are given an Air Traffic Control headset, and must successfully talk a passenger jet through a safe landing at a busy airport. (Jameson)

—Hour-long collection of cutaway shots of a flummoxed Kevin Eubanks faking another laugh. (Mike)

—Some sort of hobo variety hour. (Brandon)

—Convince the FCC to let them show naked boobs, then have a show where you get to see a lot of naked boobs. (Joe)

—A gripping, well-written drama with excellent actors and plot lines that renew people's faith in network television, create water cooler chatter, and propel NBC out of the ratings basement. (Nah, that'd never work.) (Jameson)

—Anything else. Really. Anything. Please. (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Sean Hecht, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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