Dec 10, 2008

The history of the internet is filled with failed websites, but these ones never really stood a chance.

Dot-Com Startups That Never Hit It Big

—beliefmeat.com: If you're a vegan, we'll sell you meat from a cow that was also a vegan, for guilt-free eating! (Jameson)

—lookatmyballs.com - Emmitt Smith's unfortunately-named website of photographs of every football with which he scored a touchdown. (Mike)

—corncobpipes.com: Where our slogan is, "If you can't smoke it in a corncob pipe, you've had too much skoolin'!" (Matt)

—blockthiswebsite.com: Visit us and with a few simple clicks, we'll configure your browser so you can never visit us again! (Jameson)

—barackobamathemoroccanllama.com: The home of Barack Obama the Moroccan Llama. "Llama is called Barack Obama, like your U.S. of President! Makes poopings in hands. Many fun for the childrens. You call, buy cash money today!" (Mike)

—bilfs.com: Every fetish walks a fine line, and it turns out babies cross that line. (Matt)

—wafflebecker.com: The home for waffle-themed fan fiction and spec scripts based on the former Ted Danson sitcom Becker. (Brandon)

—BostonButtLovers.com: The internet's premier site for buying Boston butt roasts and sharing recipes (well, that was the plan, anyway). (Brad)

—nakedpicturesofkathybates.com: Naked pictures of women on the internet! This is a license to print money, right? (Jameson)

—explosiveD.org: A non-profit dedicated to helping clean up areas affected by Explosive Diarrhea. (Mike)

—www.lance-bass-is-gay.au - In 1999, it was simply ahead of its time. And it was Australian, so no one really cared. (Matt)

—largerpenis.com: Worried about your size? For $49.95, we will ship you a disembodied bull penis. (Jameson)

—liberaceisgay?what?no!.com: The online repository for information you believe is obvious, but sends your grandmother into an incredulous rage. (Mike)

—alaskannudes.com: Dozens of nudes of hot Alaskan dudes! (Matt)

—IslamoFascistSoftballAcademy.com: Tom Emanski's web-based tutorials for criminally-oppressed female softball players. Includes tips on getting in front of a grounder while wearing a burqa, a demonstration showing that "stealing" second base doesn't mean we cut off your hands, and an explanation from Hall of Famer George Brett regarding how pine tar is not a sexual lotion. (Mike)

—fishnets.net: Look, we don't sell fishing nets or fishnet stockings. This is the personal website of F.I. Shnets, dammit! (Matt)

—howtorememberlongerwebaddressesinjust2to5days.com: Having difficulty remembering long URLs? Our 11-point course will change your life! (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Brad Kruse, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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