Oct 10, 2008

With less than a month left until Election Day, the Presidential candidates are playing hardball, with the McCain campaign tossing around the names of William Ayers and Reverend Jeremiah Wright, and the Obama campaign hauling out the ghost of Charles Keating. As Sarah Palin said earlier this week, "the gloves are off."

Other Signs That the Gloves Are Off in the 2008 Presidential Campaign

—John McCain's impromptu trip to the funeral of Joe Biden's mother-in-law, where he gut-punched the deceased. (Brandon)

—Obama camp thinking of bringing in Major League Baseball great Pedro Martinez to "do McCain like he did Don Zimmer." (Joe)

—Todd Palin and Jill Biden start a torrid affair that ends in heartbreak for one and murder for the other. (Mike)

—Obama buys 24-hour ad block on all major networks for November 5th; threatens to air nonstop Daddio reruns if McCain wins. (Jameson)

—Obama and Biden drafting legislation to create mandatory retirement age of 70; McCain and Palin working furiously to repeal Emancipation Proclamation. (Brandon)

—McCain notes that Obama mysteriously left Indonesia years before a devastating tsunami. Coincidence? My friends, I think not. (Mike)

—Obama slips Ex-Lax into McCain's coffee; McCain slips shiv into Obama's thigh. (Jameson)

—New Obama campaign slogan: "Once you go black, you never go back." (Brandon)

—New McCain campaign slogan: "Tap your inner racist, America!" (Mike)

—Americans, exhausted by the heated rhetoric, begin to see Fox News as a staid, thoughtful alternative. (Jameson)

—McCain campaign now frequently bringing up terrorists that Barack Obama isn't even friends with. (Joe)

—Palin now taking to hunting Obama supporters from a helicopter. (Brandon)

—Obama camp slashes the tires of the Straight Talk Express; McCain camp punctures the fuselage of Obama's Hope Zeppelin. (Jameson)

—Obama claims that McCain "palled around with the North Vietnamese for six years while we were fighting them in a war." (Mike)

—McCain kidnaps Obama on his way to a Late Show appearance, resulting in a week of scathing retaliation from Letterman for the perceived snub. (Jameson)

—Obama has started referring to the McCain/Palin ticket as "The Old Man and the 'C'." (Joe)

—Obama/Biden now campaigning with elderly man referred to as "Cohn McJain" who walks out on stage, waves, and then pretends to have a massive heart attack. (Brandon)

—Whenever McCain starts talking, Obama points to voter polling data, starts chanting "Scoreboard!" (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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