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Baron von Funny

Sports

Feb 9, 2018

The 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, opened this week, with some new categories in already-existing sports, like big air snowboarding, mixed doubles curling, mass start speed skating, and mixed team alpine skiing. But for every new event, there are many others that never get their shot at the big-time...

Rejected New Events for the Winter Olympics

—Kim Jong Un Taunting (Joe W.)

—5k and 10k Traipsing (Jameson)

—The 1000 Meter MAGA (Joe M.)

—Cross-Country Mick Jagger Impersonation (Jameson)

—Speed Skating on Speed (Brandon)

—Paper Airplane Races Across the DMZ (Jameson)

—High Altitude Winner-Take-All Plane Crash Survival (Joe W.)

—Denim Jacket Bedazzling (Jameson)

—Speed Figure Skating (Joe M.)

—Beach Volleyball in Heavy Parkas (Jameson)

—Virtue Signaling for Some Reason Combined with Shooting (Joe W.)

—100 Meter Gagnam Freestyle (Jameson)

—Ice Twerking (Joe W.)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Joe Wright

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