POOP READING
Nov 17, 2017

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving, and while many Americans will celebrate with the traditional turkey and stuffing, you never know what might show up on the table when families get together...

Least Popular Thanksgiving Menu Items

—Mashed potatoes that were groped by Al Franken (Brandon)

—Green bean assholerole (Matt)

—Keystone Pipeline gravy (Jameson)

—The Lions game (Joe M.)

—Nerf brand dinner rolls (Tenessa)

—Turduckguin (Joe W.)

—Unwanted sexual advances from Hollywood elites who then masturbate in front of you and finish into a potted plant (Mike)

—Alt-right white chocolate pudding (Matt)

—Jean-Claude Van Damme's Muscles from Brussels sprouts (Brandon)

—Turkey stuffed with whatever the cat found under the house (Jameson)

—Stale Halloween candy (Joe M.)

—Trump-toned sweet potato pie (Mike)

—Turkey womb (Matt)

—Unchecked feminist rage (Tenessa)

—Erdo─čanized Turkey (Joe W.)

—That green, soupish gruel that Yoda made Luke eat while he's training in the Dagobah System (Matt)

—New Hot Pockets milk! Wait, what?? (Brandon)

—Humble pie (White House only) (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner, Joe Wright

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