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Baron von Funny

Sports

Aug 3, 2012

The 2012 Summer Olympics are in full swing in London, with audiences around the world enjoying swimming, gymnastics, basketball, and even water polo. But thanks to the International Olympic Committee, there are many more events that will never see the light of day...

Rejected Summer Olympics Events

—Live Sports Broadcasting (Jameson)

—400 Meter Self-Pleasuring Medley (Mike)

—Synchronized Watch Synchronization (Brandon)

—End Table Tennis (Matt)

—200 Meter Saunter (Joe)

—Couponing (Dan)

—Giving Love a Bad Name (Tenessa)

Breaking Bad Spoiler Avoidance (Jameson)

—Decaf-a-lon (Mike)

—Men's 400m Freestyle on Bath Salts (Brandon)

—Angry Spouse Eye Rolling (Matt)

—Jarts in Jorts (Jameson)

—Divorcing Celebrities Relay (Mike)

—Awkwardly Trying to Shake Hands with Black People (Joe)

—Fencing Actual Fences (Dan)

—Heavy Petting (Tenessa)

—Fast Food Boycotting (Jameson)

—Starting to Build a New Deck Only to Get Distracted and Leave It Half-Built Until It Collapses During Winter (Mike)

—Holocaust Denying (Dan)

—Listing Slightly to One Side (Tenessa)

—Clucking One's Tongue at Kristen Stewart (Jameson)

—Pommel Whores (Mike)

—Guess Which Former Cast Member of Wings Took a Bite Out of This Falafel? (Brandon)

—1600 Meter "Thriller" Dance (Matt)

—Horse Prom (Jameson)

—Breaking Down Moving Boxes and Then Posting Them on Craigslist (Mike)

—Speed Burping Your National Anthem (Dan)

—Wrestling with Your Own Mortality (Tenessa)

—Zombie Javelin (Jameson)

—Baseball (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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