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Baron von Funny

Sports

Apr 27, 2012

Washington Nationals pitcher Chien-Ming Wang made headlines this week for admitting to an extramarital affair. Wang apologized to his wife and family, as well as his fans, and asked for forgiveness. As part of the typical news cycle for these matters, we can probably expect a slew of follow-up feature stories down the road, and while his last name is pronounced "Wong," that may not stop some members of the media from having a little fun with the more common pronunciation...

Chien-Ming Wang Headlines That Less Mature Sports Feature Editors Could Try to Run a Few Months From Now

—After Public Humiliation, Wang Struggles to Get Straightened Out (Brad)

—Wang Still Overshadowed By Hairy Situation (Tenessa)

—Wang Feels Better After Cutting Things Off (Brandon)

—Sleazy Wang Leaves Bad Taste in Washingtonians' Mouths (Joe)

—Betrayed Wife Admits She Couldn't Live Without Wang (Jameson)

—Wang Hesitant About Going Back to Rubber (Matt)

—Mistress: I've Put Wang Behind Me (Mike)

—Nats GM Rizzo Says Wang Grew After Enduring Rough Treatment (Tenessa)

—Wang Had to Hit Bottom in Order to Finally Come Clean (Brandon)

—Wang a Bit Shy After Being Exposed (Joe)

—Nationals Players Brag That Their Wang Can Handle Anything (Matt)

—At Lowest Point, Doctors Prescribed Drugs for Wang (Brandon)

—Washington Manager Johnson Hopes to Rub Off on Wang (Joe)

—Bright Side of Wang Troubles: At Least Strasburg's Elbow is Healthy Now (Mike)

—Hurler's Wife Uncertain What to Say to Friends & Family About Her Wang (Brandon)

—Despondent Wang Unlikely to Come on Any More Road Trips (Joe)

—Family Still Grieving Over Loss of Wang's Innocence (Tenessa)

—Broken Wang Hopes Return to Mound Will Bring Him Back to Life (Brandon)

—Nationals Catcher Ramos Admires Wang's Resilience (Brad)

—Devoted Wife Says She Will Never Let Go of Wang (Jameson)

—Most Nationals Fans Don't Care About Marital Troubles as Long as Wang Continues to Perform (Joe)

—Dysfunctional Wang Now Especially Grateful for the Ol' Ball Game (Brandon)

—In Wake of Affair, A-Rod Admits That He Was Unhappy with Wang's Performance for Much of 2009 (Matt)

—Changed Wang Now Enjoys Hanging Out Around the House (Brandon)

—Forlorn Missus Still Can't Look Wang in the Eye (Tenessa)

—Wang Scandal Continues to Rock Washington (Luckily, Beltway-area editors don't have to type that entire headline out; they just hit "Ctrl-V") (Joe)

—Ex-Manager Girardi Always Thought There Was Something Not Quite Right About Wang Marriage (Brandon)

—Two Months Later, No One Really Knows What Got Into Wang (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brad Kruse, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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